HCwDB
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Sunday, June 27, 2010
Douchebag on the Beach
Off-camera ladies bringing the ‘bag hunting mock makes the DB1 happy on this Sunday morning in Vegas. Even happier, the Vegas ‘Bags do not know that I walk amongst them, mocking as I go.
Saturday, June 26, 2010Jimmy Lets Loose!
Yo go, Jimmy!! You so crazy!!
And while we’re at it, Go Team USA!!
Okay fine, none of us care about soccer.
But we do care about Brazilian Soccer Pear.
Friday, June 25, 2010Steve's Bachelor Party of Two
Steve regrets only making one real friend, Paulie, during the course of his sadly disappointing, mediocre and soon to be forgotten 40 years of life.
But Paulie swore that, even if it was just the two of them, it was going to be the best damned bachelor party of all time.
He would end up being wrong.
It would not be the best bachelor party of all time. And one of them would end up with the runs.
Meanwhiel, Beth promised herself that in six months she really would take the G.E.D. No, this time she means it.
Friday, June 25, 2010Steve’s Bachelor Party of Two
Steve regrets only making one real friend, Paulie, during the course of his sadly disappointing, mediocre and soon to be forgotten 40 years of life.
But Paulie swore that, even if it was just the two of them, it was going to be the best damned bachelor party of all time.
He would end up being wrong.
It would not be the best bachelor party of all time. And one of them would end up with the runs.
Meanwhiel, Beth promised herself that in six months she really would take the G.E.D. No, this time she means it.
Thursday, June 24, 2010Redneck Vegas
With the cost of gas so high these days, sometimes it’s easier to make the douche pics happen on your own terms, rather than driving all that way.
Thursday, June 24, 2010Brian Says Challo To Her Not So Little Friends
Yo, it don’t matter that Kristal is gettin paid by her modeling agency to pretend to be friendly, yo. Don’t let that throw you, dog!!
Cuz you’re gangsta bangin’ with the Scarface, yo!! That shizz is off the modem, broheim!! Y’all gots Jesus hand AND Pacino, dude. There is NO WAY that chick can rezist yo’ crazzzzy game!!
Wait’ll the boyz at the temp agency here about this night!! And speaking of temping dude, I hear you got a week long booking working the PHONES at Wellfleet, bro!! It’ll be… uh… off the hook!!
Thursday, June 24, 2010Montesquieu Finds A Four Pack of Love
And so does your humble narrator.
Come to me, Blue Dolphin Exotic Curvy Adventure Map Hott Martina. I would lightly massage your shoulders with raw eggs and confectioners sugar, and then we would listen to Mahler in stereo on a dual set of retro headphones my father stole from Radio Shack in 1983. And then I would praise your boobies with esoteric adjectives while rubbing my belly with a damp mixture of sand and terrycloth. And then you would call your brother to come pick you up. Which he would. While I sat quietly in the den, watching DVDs of The Wire.
Thursday, June 24, 2010Fake n' Bake
What have the Fake n’ Bake Brothers taught Jenny?
Only the true Jersey pimps have Superman belt buckles.
Thursday, June 24, 2010Fake n’ Bake
What have the Fake n’ Bake Brothers taught Jenny?
Only the true Jersey pimps have Superman belt buckles.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010The Rural Wigga Boatcrust
America’s many lake shorefronts are also widely known as gathering grounds for aging hip-hop wannabe wigga douchecrusts like Albert here.
Shelley and Irene just want to fondle. Instead, Albert’s gunt intervenes.
On an unrelated note, Shelley’s back arch angle’s ratio to her perfectly formed ass pear is exactly 4.32643, also known as “Fermat’s Ass Theorem.”
