HCwDB
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Saturday, June 27, 2009
'Splosionhead
There’s gel.
There’s lots of gel.
And there’s ‘Splosionhead.
Saturday, June 27, 2009‘Splosionhead
There’s gel.
There’s lots of gel.
And there’s ‘Splosionhead.
Friday, June 26, 2009Friday Thoughts and Links
Random thoughts on this rainy/sunny New York Friday as yesterday’s Shmeg Warrior also finds he needs his gallstone removed:
The Michael Jackson tributes continue, and all I can think about is Rockwell.
Poor Rockwell. Who will sing his chorus now. Won’t somebody think of Rockwell?
What’s with celebrity 1980s muscle-guys doing cameos in comedies where they beat up one of the lead characters? First it was Lou Ferrigno in I Love You, Man putting the sleeper hold on Jason Segel. Then Mike Tyson punching the fat bearded guy in The Hangover. What’s next? Please let it be Mr. T punching out Mylie Cyrus.
It could happen.
Here’s your Friday Links:
Cracked.com with a nice decoding of tatt location meaning. Good work Cracked. I always preferred you to Mad.
I can’t tell if I find this new Burger King ad campaign hilarious or desperate for attention, or both.
Douchery in Deutschbagland. For the historians among us, an important artifact of Germanic douchescrotery is Leni Riefenstahl’s 1930s work on the power of fascist name-branding, Triumph of the Gel.
Yeah. I just made a Leni Riefenstahl joke. Beat that, Perez Hilton.
If you thought future Hall of Scrote member E-Blo would finally show a facial reaction when embracing a half-naked guy instead of a boozy bar hott, you thought wrong.
Ed Hardy is now branding sneakers. And another piece of the future shrivels up and dies like beached plankton.
Breaking News: Hollywood Giggle Hott Anna Faris marries a goofy flagsack. Yeah, he’s pretty much a nottadouche. But I have a huge thing for Faris.
The new Axe Bodyspray “dark temptation” chocolate guy commercial is a bit much.
And finally… for another great week of ‘bag hunting in a very odd week of cultural disruptions, here’s your Friday Ass Pear. You’ve earned it.
Go forth. Drink. Liberate a boobie hottie. If you are a ‘bag huntress, get a douche to hit on you, then kick him in the nads. For it’s the drinkin’ hour. And your humble narrator’s got a bunch of PBRs chillin’ in the fridge.
Friday, June 26, 2009Cocktus Plants
Cocktus Plant instructions:
1. Make sure your Cocktus Plant gets plenty of light.
2. Water with L.A. Looks Gel every four to six months
3. Keep your Cocktus Plant in a dry area, and your Cocktus Plant should live for many years. Or until its parents cut off its credit card.
4. If you tire of your Cocktus Plant getting drunk and playing Journey songs on the jukebox just to sing along loudly and out of key, simply kick it in the nads and it should go away.
Friday, June 26, 2009Where's Manloaf?
Somewhere in this lineup of perky coed boat hottness, I’ve carefully placed a saggy, pale pile of stinky manloaf.
Don’t bother looking for it.
It’s just poo.
Friday, June 26, 2009Where’s Manloaf?
Somewhere in this lineup of perky coed boat hottness, I’ve carefully placed a saggy, pale pile of stinky manloaf.
Don’t bother looking for it.
It’s just poo.
Friday, June 26, 2009Friday Haiku
Stephen’s Hawking ‘Mo,
Bethany giggles softly,
Motorbike jumps hair.
Motorcross poser
Has Harley attitude with
tricycle street cred.
— Douche Wayne
Hair model, spray gel
Ass model in tight blue jeans
Grab it, I would, too
— Vin Douchal
Mohawking Grab Ass
Pauses his X-box bike game
to mack on Katie
— JoMama
Playstation on Pause
Hott ass pear grab cant hide shame
how to moto-x on VHS
— indyhoosier
Sheen on ‘bags forehead
Feels like I’m looking at the
Douche In The mirror.
— Crucial Head
Friday, June 26, 2009R.I.P. Michael Jackson
I have no idea how to pay adequate tribute to you on a site called Hot Chicks with Douchebags, Michael, so I’ll just run a retro celeb hottie/douchey coupling featuring your early 1980s friends.
Andrew Ridgeley and Brooke Shields.
Thursday, June 25, 2009Rosary the Riveter
Well, that’s one way to remove a gallstone.
The Shmeg Warrior
Faux + frost + bling + shaved chest + drunk hottie slobbering on chin = $1 tucked into pants.
