HCwDB
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Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Reader Mail: Franco 'Baggin'
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Dear DB1,
I discovered your website a couple days ago and I can’t figure out how I managed to survive for over 30 years without it. I was just checking a photo album from a party a “friend” of mine (she’s actually a douche-lover and coincidentally provides me with a whole bunch of quality douchepics) poste on Facebook this morning. I couldn’t help it, I had to do my first contribution do HCwDB.
The party took place in my city, Paris, the European capital of douchebags. Hope you’ll enjoy this cheese-smelling douche.
Enjoy!
Monsieur LaDouche
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I’ve always had deep respect for French academia. From Foucault to Baudrillard, French intelligentsia has reconfigured 20th and 21st century philosophy, culture, art and politics. Which are all, of course, intertwined in neo-modern critical discourse.
And by discourse, I mean glorious French ass pear. Brigitte Bardot. Catherine Deneuve. Sophie Marceau. Emmanuelle Beart. Mmmm. They are curvy, squishy, soft critical discourses of linguistic deconstruction.
And by critically deconstructed, I mean by me. At length. With cocoa oils and a large, vibrating egg.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009Reader Mail: Franco ‘Baggin’
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Dear DB1,
I discovered your website a couple days ago and I can’t figure out how I managed to survive for over 30 years without it. I was just checking a photo album from a party a “friend” of mine (she’s actually a douche-lover and coincidentally provides me with a whole bunch of quality douchepics) poste on Facebook this morning. I couldn’t help it, I had to do my first contribution do HCwDB.
The party took place in my city, Paris, the European capital of douchebags. Hope you’ll enjoy this cheese-smelling douche.
Enjoy!
Monsieur LaDouche
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I’ve always had deep respect for French academia. From Foucault to Baudrillard, French intelligentsia has reconfigured 20th and 21st century philosophy, culture, art and politics. Which are all, of course, intertwined in neo-modern critical discourse.
And by discourse, I mean glorious French ass pear. Brigitte Bardot. Catherine Deneuve. Sophie Marceau. Emmanuelle Beart. Mmmm. They are curvy, squishy, soft critical discourses of linguistic deconstruction.
And by critically deconstructed, I mean by me. At length. With cocoa oils and a large, vibrating egg.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009Sleeve McQueen
There’s no shortage of mockable pattern-clashing loudness on Sleeve as he macks on Kimmy.
But it’s the Sleeve Tatt that is particularly noteworthy. And by noteworthy I mean poo. The only thing worse than garish tatts are fake garish tatts. Whomever invented the sleeve tatt needs a leeching of the scrotum, Spanish Inquisition style.
Kimmy needs a soft butt paddling. I would oblige using a ping-pong paddle, a small bramble, and a cotton swab.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009Got Milky?
Looks like Milky’s hott from yesterday’s Milky McMuscles pic has found another bro to party with. And yet more trouble here.
This serious downgrade in human merit warrants a deep thought from your humble narrator. And that thought is this:
When the blue tailed robin chirps upon a tree branch at the first rays of the dawning sun in earliest morn, it is for Squishy Boobie in Black Bustier that the robin sings.
Stu?
Is this Stu?
Is Stu macking on the Miami Latina Hotts?
Are Stu’s pecs stuffed with a mixture of polycarbonate and foam?
Wednesday, May 27, 2009Caption This Pic
Bobby’s life-long dream to snag a Vegas Show Girl was nearly complete. And he owed it all to the power of green bottled cough syrup.
Swiffer Head's Blue Steel "Look"
Swiffer Head and his milfy hotts badly want to win the HCwDB of the Week.
So much so that he’s busting the “Blue Steel.”
You are hypnotized by his perfectly spiked hairage, his waxed brows and his star-temple.
So much so, that you don’t even notice Blonde #2’s Kissy Lips, a sad sign of her descent into douchebaguette.
But such is the power of Swiffer Head.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009Swiffer Head’s Blue Steel “Look”
Swiffer Head and his milfy hotts badly want to win the HCwDB of the Week.
So much so that he’s busting the “Blue Steel.”
You are hypnotized by his perfectly spiked hairage, his waxed brows and his star-temple.
So much so, that you don’t even notice Blonde #2’s Kissy Lips, a sad sign of her descent into douchebaguette.
But such is the power of Swiffer Head.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009No More Hoffspring
Here’s the pic takedown request from Saturday’s “Your Saturday Hoffspring” post:
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douchebag1,
Andy LaPlegua is out of country now on tour, and has asked me to request on his behalf that you take down the pic of him and his fan in the Saturday May 23rd Update. I believe the rockstar leniency rule would apply here anyway. If you do need further input from him, I can put you into contact. thanks and love the site.
your avid reader and second time omgiknowthatguyheposted,
Caleb
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The pleasure I get in having a pic takedown request using the parlance of the website (Rockstar Leniency Rule) is tempered only by the fact that Hoffspring needed a proxy to do his takedowning for him. Wuss. Therefore, no R.S.L. granted. Hoffspring is a douche.
But the takedown request I will abide. Because it’s by a reader familiar with the site. And because I’m nice like that.
So instead, here’s a meatwad, a creepy dude who isn’t quite a douche, and a tasty Raven Hott.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009Milky McMuscle
There’s so much wrong with this pic that I just built a time machine, went back in time to 1932, and bitch slapped the Lindbergh Baby.
Yeah, I made a Lindbergh Baby joke.
What? Too soon?
