HCwDB
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Friday, May 22, 2009
Friday Thoughts and Links
Random thoughts as I wrap up a Friday and wonder if Tatt Vortex is actually one of the villains from The Mummy 5: Brendan Frasier Mails It In.
The greatness of Bubble Yum has not diminished as I get older. But Bazooka will always rule the roost of the over-sugared gum kingdom.
All plants should be cactii. Then I wouldn’t have to remember to water them.
The video game that changed it all but never gets its due? Zaxxon.
Here’s your Friday links:
Italian Energy Drink ditches subtext.
From Australia comes crime scene hottie Clare, who proudly proclaims to the camera, “The fatter wog said to the skinnier wog, ‘Oi bro, you slept with my cousin’.” I don’t know what this means. I think it’s racist. But she’s hot. So I’ll call it “eccentric.”
The Onion brings the funny with their Newscast on an NYU dorm fire. They must’ve hired new writers.
The Orange Grooves. Halloween pic or not, it scars me.
Et tu, Jonah Hill?
The ‘John Meyer is a Douchebag’ Wall Clock. Makes a great gift for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs. Or for the kids, don’t forget the ‘John Mayer is a Douchebag’ teddybear.
And yet more proof of Meyerbag’s douchosity. And yet more. It was nearly a year and a half ago that I first proclaimed the Meyerbag to be a douchebag, a scrotal herp sore of taint, and history has proven me correct in that assessment. He is stinky ass finger.
She wasn’t really cute enough for me to run this on the mainpage, but The Douchelick is rank. I’m talking Arthur Kade rank.
But enough on all that is poo in this world.
You’ve worked hard. It’s Friday. Here’s your Tropical Ass Pear. It’s like two cantaloupes fighting over the check.
Friday, May 22, 2009Couch o' Germ
That couch has more microscopic bugs crawling on it than a Blink 182 after-party.
I don’t know what that means. I just like typing “Blink 182.”
Friday, May 22, 2009Couch o’ Germ
That couch has more microscopic bugs crawling on it than a Blink 182 after-party.
I don’t know what that means. I just like typing “Blink 182.”
Friday, May 22, 2009Pedro Hearts Twins
But as much as he hearts puka-shell necklaces and thin, pencily ‘staches?
Pop Star
Collar Pops.
Still out there.
Still douchey.
Friday, May 22, 2009Friday Haiku
Hmm… Iron Man II,
Not the direction I’d guessed.
Dane Cook as Robin?
Day job at WalMart
Stocking the shelves in housewares
Shoplifted an iron
– Vin Douchal
Waxing on and off
Did not mean your chest, Scrote Bag
Miyagi has failed
— Anon – Bender Douche
Iron Man Kravitz
steams Gyllenhaal wannabe
Now where’s the short bus?
– Anonymous
Yo babes, check me out!
I ironed these pants myself
Where’d these holes come from?
— Anonymous
Hirohito douche
Imitates Stevie Wonder
Deserves Seppuku
— Anonymous
Thursday, May 21, 2009Ask DB1: What About Bleeth-to-'Bag?
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Strangely, there was one couple where the hott was Bleethed-out far beyond redemption but her dude was only exhibiting minimal Stage 1 douche/scrote/choad signifiers. His beard was overly trimmed but that was about it. No oversized sunglasses, no tats, hair was not gelled, no foul stench of Axe, etc.
Thank You,
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Excellent question, Ronnie. What you describe is the less common Bleeth-to-‘Bag viral transmission. This only occurs in situations where the Bleeth is so polluted by ‘bag virus, that she flips from incubator to pollutant/carrier.
It is also less common because by the time most hotts reach a stage-4 Douchebaguette state, they are completely surrounded by stage-3 and stage-4 douches, and so the non-‘bag rarely faces exposure (see Exhibit A, pictured here).
But it does happen, as you witnessed this past weekend. And when it does, it’s very pooey.
Ask DB1: What About Bleeth-to-‘Bag?
—-
Strangely, there was one couple where the hott was Bleethed-out far beyond redemption but her dude was only exhibiting minimal Stage 1 douche/scrote/choad signifiers. His beard was overly trimmed but that was about it. No oversized sunglasses, no tats, hair was not gelled, no foul stench of Axe, etc.
Thank You,
—–
Excellent question, Ronnie. What you describe is the less common Bleeth-to-‘Bag viral transmission. This only occurs in situations where the Bleeth is so polluted by ‘bag virus, that she flips from incubator to pollutant/carrier.
It is also less common because by the time most hotts reach a stage-4 Douchebaguette state, they are completely surrounded by stage-3 and stage-4 douches, and so the non-‘bag rarely faces exposure (see Exhibit A, pictured here).
But it does happen, as you witnessed this past weekend. And when it does, it’s very pooey.
Halloween or Europe?
Okay kids, time to play another round of the Hottie/Douchey game that’s sweeping the nation:
Halloween or Europe?
Which is it?
Vote, as always, in the comments thread.
Thursday, May 21, 2009Jimmy
Jimmy so badly wants to be douchey. He’s got the hat tilt. The overpriced shirt from Nordstroms. The “rocker” hand gesture. Jimmy’s even recently finished a tasty cherry Lifesaver.
But all sexy sweet take-home-to-mom Kara can do is give him a pity hug.
For Jimmy is douche-wannabe.
As such, he is nonthreatening. Clownish. A douchal echo.
But that is not an excuse for that getup. He is still to be mocked.
