HCwDB
-
Monday, June 21, 2010
Tony Bolero: King of Ft. Lauderdale
Tony B. knows how to rock all the granddaughters of the residents of the “Resting Palms” gated community in Margate, Florida, just outside of Ft. Lauderdale.
Yes, even Sunny. Who’s just down from Hibbing, Minnesota, for the weekend. Visiting her beloved Grammy Henderson. Who keeps calling security on Tony Bolero for crashing their jacuzzi/pool area near the mahjong table at the clubhouse.
Sunny doesn’t mind Tony B’s douchey attention. For Sunny knows her perfect marshmallow body of taut curviture and ubersucklethigh causes nearby pelicans to upchuck half-eaten whitefish in regurgatory appreciation for perfect swollen boobage.
Monday, June 21, 2010Armani Exchange Arnold
Anyone who thinks douchey Armani-Exchange t-shirts and Kissy Lips have been expunged from the HCwDB lexicon of signifiers needs to think again.
As Carley and Lynn learned the hard way.
Monday, June 21, 2010Guy Too Old To Be At The Party Guy
PIC DELETED
Guy Too Old To Be At The Party Guy sure loves his beer.
And his six pound watch.
And his rapidly receding faux/mullet thing, that neither Rogaine nor Sy Sperling can save from a premature death spiral.
But Guy Too Old To Be At The Party Guy is just gonna hang back and let the kids dance while he chats up Leanna. With questions like:
“Yo, you on Facebook?”
and
“I just got the new Beck CD!”
Not gonna work, GTOTBATPG. Thirty five year old bartenders just don’t carry the cultural cache they once did. No, not even with a tribal tatt.
Monday, June 21, 2010Four Prong and Company Voted
Last week’s HCwDB of the Week winner, legendary spoker, Four Prong, brought some serious A-List blonde Paid-to-Pose hotties, a quality brunette drink of hott water (who may or may not be K Sister #1), and some douchey middle aged Oldbag riff raff, and voted in the HCwDB of the Week.
Have you voted yet?
Sunday, June 20, 2010Neither Hip Nor Hop
I just saw a hamster castrate himself with a pocket knife and a protractor.
Saturday, June 19, 2010Your Saturday Vinny
I sorta like Vinny. He’s got three quality gnawable ladies and yet looks relatively benign. But the hair is greasy and the shirt is silkscreeny.
What say you?
Should we hand out a nottadouche on this Saturday?
Friday, June 18, 2010Natalie’s Eyes Could Fuse Carbon
Is Guess Jean-Jacket wearing, ear licking, pudwack, Todd, a douche? Perhaps.</p
But I post this pic for Leopard Print Natalie. Her sultry gaze warms the cockles of my hearth like a protonic nuclear electric nadsack Cambodian torture volt.
Natalie doesn’t like to use two syllable words and orders milkshakes for dinner, but I would find that adorable. I would gaze uponst her eyes, and then, later, after she has three wine coolers while listening to Rihanna, I’d awkwardly paw her bosom like a homeless man dumpster diving for pizza crust.
Friday, June 18, 2010Natalie's Eyes Could Fuse Carbon
Is Guess Jean-Jacket wearing, ear licking, pudwack, Todd, a douche? Perhaps.</p
But I post this pic for Leopard Print Natalie. Her sultry gaze warms the cockles of my hearth like a protonic nuclear electric nadsack Cambodian torture volt.
Natalie doesn’t like to use two syllable words and orders milkshakes for dinner, but I would find that adorable. I would gaze uponst her eyes, and then, later, after she has three wine coolers while listening to Rihanna, I’d awkwardly paw her bosom like a homeless man dumpster diving for pizza crust.
Friday, June 18, 2010Iceman Finds Love
Pink, ruddy and pumped up Iceman, he of Tuesday’s The Lake Crotch Cactii finds love on a yacht.
Aww. I love a story with a happy ending, lots of ‘roids, and a skin condition.
Thursday, June 17, 2010Omaha Goes Gangsta
That’s right bitches!!
Don’t mess with the graduating Senior Class of Westerlake High!!
Off the I-92, take exit 23, go two stoplights and take a left at the Dairy Queen, then go past the Walmart and it’s on your right, next to the Sam’s Club.
They gangsta!!!
