HCwDB

    Thursday, March 19, 2009

    Kurts Florida 'Tag


    —-
    DBUno-

    Been a while since I’ve submitted something. I was in St. Petersburg Florida at a place called shepards. Unreal. I think tattoos got you a free cover. I know you say only submit one, but take your pick. They’re all kind of incogneto because I didn’t want to spook them from their GDI behavior.

    Regards,
    -Kurt
    —-

    Amazingly, you can tell she’s hot without seeing her face, and you can tell he’s a douche merely from one arm and half of his face.

    Either that, or I can smell the chlamydia.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, March 19, 2009

    Kurts Florida ‘Tag


    —-
    DBUno-

    Been a while since I’ve submitted something. I was in St. Petersburg Florida at a place called shepards. Unreal. I think tattoos got you a free cover. I know you say only submit one, but take your pick. They’re all kind of incogneto because I didn’t want to spook them from their GDI behavior.

    Regards,
    -Kurt
    —-

    Amazingly, you can tell she’s hot without seeing her face, and you can tell he’s a douche merely from one arm and half of his face.

    Either that, or I can smell the chlamydia.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, March 19, 2009

    Ask DB1: Hotness and Gender

    —-
    Hi DB1,

    I just ordered your book and I am really hoping that your theory is in there about why hot chicks go for this type of men because it really is beyond my comprehension, just not my type.

    And that is how I will segue into asking you to validate my theory on hot women vs hot men. Here’s how it goes:

    For a women to be considered hot it really isn’t that difficult; there is a somewhat generic formula- the hair a certain way, the face, the body, the boobs etc…

    For a man to be considered hot, its much, much different. Men are generally considered good looking only within a category. Ex, a man is hot because he has the surfer look going on or the business man look, the construction man or even the nerd look and so on. But you take that man and you put him in a different category and he loses that appeal-that surfer isnt so hot when he’s in a suit and tie, etc… Which explains why there are so many more “celebrity” women that considered universally hot while men are categorized (people magazine’s most beautiful people is notorious for this) and why movies like House Bunny exits-both facts acknowledge the unspoken formula and play on it.

    I know you’re a busy man but I think this would be an interesting topic to post on your site to see if others agree or not. If it has already been touched on or not what you are interested then no worries, fact of the matter is I’m stuck at work but lucky enough that I can drink on the job (my boss is wicked) and am a few (=many) beers in.

    Thanks DB1,

    – Hot but don’t wanna douche.
    —-

    Uhm. Yeah.

    Since you bought the book, I will grant leeway at this entry-level query into the world of douchal spectacle, and add only that, yes, the answer is in my book. Physical looks are not a factor in the douchey/hottie dialectics. Female hottness, conversely, can also turn to Bleeth just as easily, no matter the quality of the suckle thigh.

    But I appreciate your query,HBDWD, and will try not to judge you too harshly for your moniker. Since you bought the book.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, March 19, 2009

    Caption This Pic


    After Running the Trifratthalon, Spencer managed to distract two nearby ladies from the Mohawk Dress Competition, coming up next.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, March 19, 2009

    Gotti Training


    Jesus bling? Check.

    Orange tan? Check.

    Ginormous watch? Check.

    Two sorority packages of soft squishy fun? Check.

    Hair that looks like a porcupine mated with a cheese grater? Check and mate.

    And by mate, I mean please do not.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, March 18, 2009

    Crosshair McJohnson and Leia say "Thanks, broha!!"


    HCwDB of the Week winners Crosshair McJohnson and Leia wanted to drop by in their less fully douched-up weekend clothes and bashfully thank you for voting them HCwDB of the Week.

    To show her appreciation, Leia wanted to give you a taste of her suckleable and highly gnawable shoulder.

    Crosshair wanted to you to know that Jesus died for his bicep.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, March 18, 2009

    Crosshair McJohnson and Leia say “Thanks, broha!!”


    HCwDB of the Week winners Crosshair McJohnson and Leia wanted to drop by in their less fully douched-up weekend clothes and bashfully thank you for voting them HCwDB of the Week.

    To show her appreciation, Leia wanted to give you a taste of her suckleable and highly gnawable shoulder.

    Crosshair wanted to you to know that Jesus died for his bicep.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, March 18, 2009

    The Bandaidto


    Watch out, Alba Hott!!

    He has band aids.

    Yeah, I went there. I blame the New York drinking.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, March 18, 2009

    Jeff Fratsworthy


    In honor of the hacktackularly lame Jeff Foxworthy:

    If your yadda is yadda, you might be a Fratdouche.

    So Jeff Foxworthy lives, but Mitch Hedberg died. There truly is no justice.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, March 18, 2009

    The White Shadow


    As men become spectacle in the hopes of attracting suckle thigh, Shadow’s douche-face tasks us with the noblest of philosophical inquiries.

    What are the limitations of language systems, and do they prevent a complete capture of “the real”?

    How do we process our understandings of self through a shifting and mobile subjectivity?

    Are there Ass Pears that smell like lilacs, and if so, may I sniff?

    # posted by douchebag1
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