HCwDB
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Sunday, February 22, 2009
Johnny Blaze Sunday
And while we’re honoring legends of poo, here’s a new pic of legendary HCwDB Goose Runner, Johnny Blaze.
Blaze is celebrating being the latest enshrinee in our hallowed Hall of Scrote.
By running with the X.
And Sheryl, a tasty volleyball player from nearby Long Island Tech, where’s she’s majoring in “Accounting” and her BFF Chase was a total bitch last night outside of Pinkberry.
Sunday, February 22, 2009Breaking: John Mayer Admits He's a Huge Douche; Still a Huge Douche
On Friday’s Conan O’Brian sendoff on NBC, the legendary sleeve-tatted pseudo-talented hipster clown, The Mayerbag, once again fessed up and admitted he’s a huge douche as an attempt to ironicize his way out of the truth of his core being.
I first called out the Mayerbag last year, when he was “regular guy” – blogging like a semi employed Gawker writer, here, his Borat suited antics here, and after he got his sleeve-tatts and started dating Aniston, here.
I’m still searching for a YouTube clip, but you can see Mayerbag try to subvert the truth of his own soul through irony on Conan on Hulu.
I’m just not sure where in the show the clip actually is.
Cuz I’m hungover and can’t find it. And my socks smell like gouda.
Sunday, February 22, 2009Breaking: John Mayer Admits He’s a Huge Douche; Still a Huge Douche
On Friday’s Conan O’Brian sendoff on NBC, the legendary sleeve-tatted pseudo-talented hipster clown, The Mayerbag, once again fessed up and admitted he’s a huge douche as an attempt to ironicize his way out of the truth of his core being.
I first called out the Mayerbag last year, when he was “regular guy” – blogging like a semi employed Gawker writer, here, his Borat suited antics here, and after he got his sleeve-tatts and started dating Aniston, here.
I’m still searching for a YouTube clip, but you can see Mayerbag try to subvert the truth of his own soul through irony on Conan on Hulu.
I’m just not sure where in the show the clip actually is.
Cuz I’m hungover and can’t find it. And my socks smell like gouda.
Saturday, February 21, 2009If Jimmy Had a Million Dollars
PIC DELETED
He’d do two chicks at the same time, man.
Saturday, February 21, 2009Crimson Ted Saturday
Crimson Ted senses there is a sexy brunette behind him.
But Crimson Ted does not need to turn to see her.
For Crimson Ted knows all he needs to know.
EDIT: Inspired by Mike’s work yesterday, Gaijindouche has whipped up a second Crimson Ted Spectrometer.
EDIT #2: And Mike follows up Gaijundouche’s work with a Crimson Ted Facial Averaging Spectrograph.
Friday, February 20, 2009Friday Thoughts and Links
It was the hotts of times. It was the douchiest of times.
The ‘bags remain mockable, and the suckle thighs, sucklable.
Los Angeles has been washed clean by a Travis Bickle inspired rain, and now only faintly smells like Hollypoo.
Dust clouds swirl over palm trees as a twenty-two year old hott walks down Sunset and dreams of hosting her own show on the E Network.
But that guy she met at the bar last night was lying to her. She knew it. But she made out with him by the bathroom anyway.
Here’s your Friday links:
Sorority Chicks with Creepy Emobags. At a backyard Ubiquitous Red Cup party, no less.
Hot Chicks with Roger Ailesbag
Cincinnati’s ladies are fed up with the scrote in this nicely sarcastic Craigslist posting.
And then Boston’s Craiglist brings the Authentobaggery.
And to think, just last month we gave this guy a nottadouche.
For the art lovers who read the site, this pic has a similar genius of aesthetics as did our 2008 “Most Likely to be Part of the Permanent Collection at the Guggenheim in 2023” award winner, Still Life with Coors Light. The hotts weren’t quality enough to run it on the site, but let us appreciate its brilliant composition. I entitle it, “Rock Flower Sunrise.” Once I am finally accepted as a true artist, this will be one of the pics at my first gallery showing.
Hot Chicks with Deutschbags. What will those wacky Germans think of next? Perhaps this.
And what would a Friday Thoughts and Links be without my unending obsession with minimally famous Hollywood starlet, Peyton List? Here’s a pic from Peyton List’s guest spot as a magician’s assistant on an episode of Monk. And one more. Mmmm… lovely.
Peyton remains my preeminent Hollywood Suckle Thigh.
EDIT: Swapped out the pic due to the potential for trannydom in the last pic.
EDIT #2: Okay, who’s sending in the hot tranny pics? I’m swapping out the pic because the adams apple was freaking me out. Instead, here’s a nerdy Asian dude with a hot blonde.
Friday, February 20, 2009Crimson Ted
With four of the sexiest, most sucklable legs in creation flexing themselves in front of him, Crimson Ted would rather point angrily at something else.
I’m guessing it’s his personal stylist. Who died.
In 1982.
Bonus points for the first photoshop expert to determine how many gradations of orange separate Ted’s face from hand.
EDIT: Reader Mike provides us with a Crimson Ted Spectrometer.
The Preppiebag
Because nothing rocks the strip club hotts quite like argyle sweaters and the white, J.Crew, button-down dress shirts.
Except that final touch — the patented “Cylon Eye” chin fungus.
Friday, February 20, 2009Friday Haiku
Creepy Bandito,
Talks broken Spanish to Kims:
“Free fondle, free drink.”
He has two beauties
Yet Sheik Omar pube-y chin
Is too drunk to care
— Gaijindouche
Bagatov the drunk
will not release busty hotts.
Unless they take photo.
— teh abominable snowdouche
I think no one knows
But the cockroach on my chin
Tells the world I’m poo
— DBAD
LEFT HOTTS RED EYS SAY:
“TARMAL ME FLYTEHETH UNTIL
THERE”S NOT TARMAL L>EFT!
— Flyteeth
come home with Basheer
me makey falalfal meal
blondes make out…i cry
— Arch Douche of Bagbury
lazy-eyed psycho.
clings tightly to young, blonde sluts.
glory days have passed.
— ted theodore scrotgan
Douche weaves in the wind
Bleeths stand erect like trees
They’re all that’s erect
— I am Jack’s outraged liver
Friday, February 20, 2009All Sorts of Wrong
The Orange and racoon eyes have jumped to the girl, the dude is bringing back A/X and retro-2006 faux fwip with forward comb, and the whole thing smells like rotting seal.
That’s it.
I’m setting a talking lemur on fire.
