HCwDB
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Wednesday, January 7, 2009
No More Choose Your Own Adventure GlowBag
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Hello,
Please remove my picture from your website immediately: choose-your-own-adventure-glowbag.html. I am the female on the left hand side under your January 6th post.
I have not consented to its use. As such, I would appreciate its immediate removal. If the picture is not removed, the matter will be forwarded to my attorney. Conduct yourself accordingly.
Thank you,
(CYOABH)
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I don’t remember Choose Your Own Adventure books like this back in the day.
Wednesday Limerick
When Rachel met Parking Attendant Fred,
Fred convinced her to come to his stead,
But Fred brought hair mousse,
Which he liked to abuse,
Now Rachel wishes she’d gone home instead.
Meh, not my best. I blame the Absynth.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009There's Something About Harry
Like Dumb and Dumberer, this was a sequel that just really wasn’t necessary.
There’s Something About Harry
Like Dumb and Dumberer, this was a sequel that just really wasn’t necessary.
HCwDB of the Week: Sir Sucks-a-Lot
A worthy first Champion in the new year, Sir Sucks-a-Lot brings classic douche ‘tude with a tasty blonde middriff cutie to counter-balance the taint. The voters spoke, and they spoke strongly against hawk+ tie:
Anonymous: As much as I truly want to lick every inch of sweet Anabelle and listen to her purr, the winner is Sir Sucks-a-Lot. It’s such a disgusting combination of ridiculous hair, popped collar, stupid tie, obscene hand gesture, and a look that says, “I am poo.”
Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer: I’m going with Sir Sucks-a-Lot. Anyone who willingly spends that much time grooming themselves, only to end up looking like a bloodied roadkill skunk, deserves the honorary title………..of poo.
Heather: Sir Sucks-a-lot. Hands down. That completely wasted look, sagging bottom lip, and tie that doesn’t even go around the popped collar? Could you get more poo-nosity? Seriously, that tie is in every single ’70s prom picture known to mankind. It isn’t cool, Sucks, it is dook.
jonezy: Sir sucks-a-lot deserves a seat at the Round Table of Douche. He also deserves a dull 6th century Excalibur to the cranium.
Douche Tarlick: It’s a no brainer, Sir Sucks wins. Jabba the Douche in #1 is nothing more then an obesebag which are now a dime a dozen. Heroin douche from #2 is another run of the mill bag which only leaves us #3. His uber-douche nature and upstanding fashion cannot be ignored.
Nicely done, people, and props for bringing the A-Game in hottie/douchey linguistic and semiotic deconstructions so soon after the New Year. Derrida would be proud. Coming in a strong second, Tiny Anabelle Gets Swamped:
grady bagmore: anabelle ftw. god save her
blair: I’d give Anabelle some swamp ass. Um, I don’t know what that means. But I vote for Anabelle and the Swampies.
Archidouchies: I’m gonna go with Tiny Annabelle and He Just Eats Bitches Who Drink. One bag, two baglings, and one definite hott blows the other hotts away this week.
Anabelle was certainly delightful, but Pterodactyl ‘Bag was just too bloated to truly threaten. Coming in a distant third was the PTP grease of Loop de Poop. But Sir Sucks dominated. As anonymous sums it up:
I defy you to look closely at Sir Sucks-a-Lot’s face and then vote for someone else. Sucks FTW.
Sucks FTW indeed. A great debate and discussion in the comments threads, props to all. Give it up to Sir Sucks-a-Lot and Taylor Dayne Cute for the Weekly and the first slot in the first monthly of the first month of yo’ momma.
Yikes. The coffee hasn’t kicked in yet.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009DJ Bello is Like Go Go Gadget
Check. Check. It’s your ‘bag, DJ Bello.
Ask DB1: Is "John5" Rock Star Exempt?
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DB1,
I’m taking a renewed interest in guitars after several years off, and I kept seeing these cool signature model Fender Telecasters for some guy named “John 5.” Since it was a Tele, I figured he was some kick ass Nashville session guy. So I searched him and this is what I found.
Gross.
It seems he is the current wearer of the “Oodles of Talent/Absence of Taste” guitar wank crown. Rita seems to be his girlfriend — maybe she is famous in her own right? I don’t know… Maybe he is a really, really, really, really nice douchebag.
Here’s his website:
– BK
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Should we grant John5 the Rock Star Exemption?
Computer says no.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009Ask DB1: Is “John5” Rock Star Exempt?
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DB1,
I’m taking a renewed interest in guitars after several years off, and I kept seeing these cool signature model Fender Telecasters for some guy named “John 5.” Since it was a Tele, I figured he was some kick ass Nashville session guy. So I searched him and this is what I found.
Gross.
It seems he is the current wearer of the “Oodles of Talent/Absence of Taste” guitar wank crown. Rita seems to be his girlfriend — maybe she is famous in her own right? I don’t know… Maybe he is a really, really, really, really nice douchebag.
Here’s his website:
– BK
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Should we grant John5 the Rock Star Exemption?
Computer says no.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009When Douche Attacks!
The latest Reality Show on Fox, When Douche Attacks!!
Licking this Fall.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009Sucking the Poison
Amazingly, Kenny succeeded in convincing Shelly and Layla that Tag Bodyshot chest infections could be fatal unless immediately licked off, winning the bar bet with Peter, Michael and Samir.
Thankfully Unseen Hand of The Collective Unconscious is responding to this situation appropriately.
And before you claim Kenny is not douche, I will note that cargo pants in the clubs are instant stage-2 auto-scrote.
