HCwDB
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Saturday, January 3, 2009
Musclebag Courting Ritual #53
Dazzle the Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh with displays of prodigious circus strength.
Then get drunk and puke on her handbag.
Saturday, January 3, 2009King Douchuous the IV: Still Spikey
Oh King D the IV.
You may have been instantly kicked off MTV’s A Double Shot at Love last month.
But your spikey greasosity and constant cohabitation with the ladiez will always earn you a spot here at HCwDB.
Friday, January 2, 2009Friday Thoughts and Links
Another Friday Thoughts and Links, as I realize hangovers don’t disperse as easily in your 30s as they did in your 20s.
HCwDB’s own Vin Douchal composes, writes and performs a tribute to Donkey Douche’s recent arrest in the strange and surreal Donkey Opus in Douche Major.
New UFC Ring Girl Logan Stanton has freshly scrubbed Ivory Snow Girl Hottness. And, naturally, a Greasy Eurodouche growing out of her ear.
Here’s a pic of Baby Fung, the teen years, before the Orangeness and Blowout took over. Although I’m not convinced it’s him. He’s supposedly in the white shirt on the left.
The dancing clown in yesterday’s “He’ll Be Loving You All His Life” clip is none other than MySpace Doucherstar ChadMac. Hometown: HATERVILLE, Georgia.
Speaking of Donkey Douche’s arrest, here’s a follow up (with new mini-fauxhawk mugshot goodness).
And finally, Christian Audigier, the assclown who brought us the plague of Ed Hardy, is such a douchenozzle, he… well, just look.
May you celebrate the purity of the body and soul without the need for name-brand validation tonight, and may your evening be douche-free.
Friday, January 2, 2009'Baglings at Play
Enjoy it now, Huck and Tom, for when Carolina turns 18 and moves to New York, she’ll trade in your doughey asses for a Wall Street Trader ‘Bag.
Which is worse.
Great. I meant to mock you guys and just ended up depressing myself.
Friday, January 2, 2009‘Baglings at Play
Enjoy it now, Huck and Tom, for when Carolina turns 18 and moves to New York, she’ll trade in your doughey asses for a Wall Street Trader ‘Bag.
Which is worse.
Great. I meant to mock you guys and just ended up depressing myself.
Friday, January 2, 2009Honorary Hott of the Month: Rebecca Hall
My new stalking obsession for 2009: actress Rebecca Hall.
Having first lusted over her freckled brunette luscious ball of boobie wax in Vicky Christina Barcelona and again yesterday in Frost/Nixon, Hall is the latest librarian glasses wearing buttercup of sunset rainbow melted Skittles in a Frying Pan delight to enter my subconscious and make me want to build a castle out of straw, then set it afire to protest a mortal universe.
While she had little more to do than stand there and look pretty in Hollywood Hack Ron Howard’s first decent film since the genius that was Gung Ho, she still fired up my loins like a flamethrowing midget who torched my pajamas while slipping on a banana peel.
How he got into my pajamas, I’ll never know.
Heh. I said pajamas.
You better not start dating a Hollywood douchemonkey, Ms. Hall. For I am watching. Should you end up with a Seacrest or a Mayer, I will mock. From a safe distance. And then shake my fist in outrage. Before sighing. And drinking a Mr. Pibb.
Friday, January 2, 2009The Douche Bomb
This pic is like a delayed assplosion of Douche/Hott.
At first you gravitate to the sexy back-arch on brunette, brilliantly revealed by the flimsiest of cloth. You almost don’t notice the choad asswater floating to her right.
And then you do. And it smelly like dirty diaper poopie.
But then you notice the sweet smile on Sheen Hott, and hope is restored in images of tiny cupid angels dancing on the tops of tropical rainforests, and of sucking on her toes like a famished desert Saharan Iguana after the dry season.
But then you notice the facial chin pubes on Shrunken Baby Vin Diesel Douche on the left.
And all hope is lost once again.
Friday, January 2, 2009Friday Haiku
Sperm Nipple haunts soul…
Distracts from big clam boobies.
Blonde Peeks Pants. Grateful.
Douche pays tribute to
Wardrobe malfunction. Someone
File class action suit.
— massengill
Dow Corning is proud
to sponsor bikini top
how much did they cost?
— Frodouche Baggins
This smug turd-burglar
gives a douchey reframe to
the phrase: “Tit for Tat”
— Doucheous Scrotimus
Pink bikini blonde
Was your top inspired by
chin of the Blowfish?
— IdahoHottPotato
Thursday, January 1, 2009The Albino Pimp
Miss Manners says it’s not nice to make fun of ‘tards with skin conditions.
Thursday, January 1, 2009He'll Be Loving You All His Life
It’s 2009! Time to dance!
