HCwDB
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Thursday, May 27, 2010
The Great Gatsbag
Interestingly, the working title for this post was “Daisy’s Buchanans.”
Thursday, May 27, 2010The Thompson Twits
Hard times have fallen on 80s one-hit-wonder act, “The Thompson Twits.”
Forced into Groin Shave Reveal club appearances, marking up their bodies with mutant raisins, and having lead singer Gwen pretend she’s Maggie Gyllenhaal before she hit the wall at 28, it’s just all sorts of stress for their agent, Broadway Danny Rose, to find them quality bookings on the nostalgia circuit.
Yup. I’m babbling again. Not making sense. And I apologize for this pic. It’s borderline cruel to inflict such toxic GSR upon you without warning, or at least the offer of mild sedatives in advance of viewing. But this is douchebaggery in 2010. So we must witness.
Thursday, May 27, 2010Reader Mail: The Unisex Yaz Dangler
Reader Sac writes in:
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Yo!
so this chick’nhead tries holla’n at my nigga Mocha…
this chick’nhead must be out her got-damn mind…see, cause Mocha is a junk yard dawg..he drops Sergio Valente style in people’s assholes.
and that niggaa goes both ways kidd, girls and guys, girls and guys…
that bandana is a retard tourniquet set to strangle…you heard of the bloods, you heard of the Crips…you ever heard of the Unisex Yaz Danglers?
– Sac
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I have no idea what that email just said, am not at all a fan of the word “nigga,” but it reads like a brilliant tone poem, and I must give props to anyone who comes up with the phrase “drops Sergio Valente style in people’s assholes.”
Thursday, May 27, 2010Where’s Waldouche: Ben Affliction Edition
Somewhere in this lineup of tasty “Jennifer Anniston before we realized she was more boring than cardboard” hotties, I’ve carefully hidden the star of such movies as “”The Sum of All Bodyspray,” “Gellgli” and “Pearl Necklace.”
Look closely.
Can you find him?
Thursday, May 27, 2010Where's Waldouche: Ben Affliction Edition
Somewhere in this lineup of tasty “Jennifer Anniston before we realized she was more boring than cardboard” hotties, I’ve carefully hidden the star of such movies as “”The Sum of All Bodyspray,” “Gellgli” and “Pearl Necklace.”
Look closely.
Can you find him?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010Retro Doggie 'Baggin'
One of the key douchebag maneuvers of 2008, The Doggie ‘Bag, has recently become as extinct as the dodo, saber tooth tiger, and the entire eco system of the gulf coast.
Normally this would be good news. Except that it’s been replaced in 2010 by Groin Shave Reveal (GSR).
Nonetheless, here’s a mini throwback pic, with Shirtless Elwood ‘Bag annoying hottie librarian Sandra. It’s more like a half Doggie ‘Bag, (a Chihuahua ‘Bag?) but it qualifies.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010Retro Doggie ‘Baggin’
One of the key douchebag maneuvers of 2008, The Doggie ‘Bag, has recently become as extinct as the dodo, saber tooth tiger, and the entire eco system of the gulf coast.
Normally this would be good news. Except that it’s been replaced in 2010 by Groin Shave Reveal (GSR).
Nonetheless, here’s a mini throwback pic, with Shirtless Elwood ‘Bag annoying hottie librarian Sandra. It’s more like a half Doggie ‘Bag, (a Chihuahua ‘Bag?) but it qualifies.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010Aimee Is Trapped by the Limitations of Her Environment
Maybe in another life, Aimee would’ve made it out of suburban Indianapolis. Gotten that scholarship at Bennington and a chance to major in costume design.
Instead, Aimee will just have to accept the limitations of her world.
Bros with sharpies, and posters of beer pong.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010Starblazer Says “Not So Fast, Shark!”
The Starblazer and his hottie Astra, say, “We’ll see you in the next Weekly, Sharkboy!”
The gauntlet has been thrown.
And by gauntlet, I mean ridiculously dainty wristdanna.
EDIT: Starblazer and Astra also wanted you to know that there’s an “Is She Really Going Out With Him?” marathon on MTV today from 3-6pm. Checkitout!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010Starblazer Says "Not So Fast, Shark!"
The Starblazer and his hottie Astra, say, “We’ll see you in the next Weekly, Sharkboy!”
The gauntlet has been thrown.
And by gauntlet, I mean ridiculously dainty wristdanna.
EDIT: Starblazer and Astra also wanted you to know that there’s an “Is She Really Going Out With Him?” marathon on MTV today from 3-6pm. Checkitout!
