HCwDB
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Friday, November 7, 2008
Fung Friday
It’s Fung Friday!!
And you know what that means. Actually, I hope you know what that means, because I sure don’t.
Fung, like DJ Bello, needs no hot chicks to form a douche singularity. As such, I will make an exception to the rules of my site, and post his hilarious, burnt umber ass.
Other random links as I clear out the pixel attic and chug a PBR on this post-Halloween, post-election Friday:
In Buffalo, New York, douchebags apparently refer to themselves as “Cricket.”
More Fun With French, from our ‘bag hunter in Paris.
Brothabag Leon pities the fool.
I know times are tight, but Walmart is stocking actual douche. Yes, that’s a real photo from their website. That’s what happens when you pay minimum wage to teenage web-site admins.
Peyton List wants to spank my bare bottom with some fishing twine and a partially damp shamwow.
Speaking of the shamwow, that spokesguy is a huge douche. You followin’ me, camera guy?
Uhm, I’ll take the chicken basket (from FailBlog)
Friday, November 7, 2008Where's Dumbass?
PIC DELETED
Somewhere, buried within this lineup of soft curvy hottie boobie suckle thigh, I’ve carefully hidden a heaping serving of fratdouche dumbassery.
Look closely.
Can you find him?
Friday, November 7, 2008Donkey Douche Doesn't Even Need to Try, He Just Gets Quality Ass
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Thing is i don’t even need to try , i just get quality ass! Always will , always have!! I look better on a bad day than 99% of all the hate’n douchebag cock fags that write in to this site! All these tards wish they have gotten the tail i have in my life. I could die happy at 30 ….can’t say the same for all you losers. Grow some fk’n nuts and post a real pic of me and my girl on this site(not some bs photoshopped pic**real funny, now people have to send in fake pics =wow!=**). Show all the millions of losers out there what a real couple looks like! All the chubs with one hand on the computer and one on their tiny dicks masurbating to my gf , I salute you! Keep on wishing you had tail like that. ***and by the way i will stick up for fish slap and for socrates, i know both of them, and i will say they also are awesome people who handle their own and can get ass, all you don’t be jealous!***
DD
ps – why don’t you post this message on your site for me……. i think i made you enough $$$ so far…… now do me a favor Jay Louis!
i also am including a real pic of me from that night, me and chris(my lips are not purple, i didnt age, my shirt is not leather, my hair aint grey ) (i love the hat’n, it makes me tick!)
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I enjoyed DD’s response on many levels, but most of all for the genius of “hat’n.” It bothers me that I didn’t think of that contraction first.
Friday, November 7, 2008Friday Haiku
No more Hallow’s Eve,
Dumbass tilts douche-hat and pouts,
Sandra mugged, for reals.
Swedish & Meatball.
Normally a good combo,
But not in this case.
— boatbutter
Sanjeev tries to act
gangsta and fails, but Elke
doesn’t seem to care
— father guido sardouchey
Bottle-blondie Nell
Finds herself molested by
this Dudley Douche-Right.
— don’t wheeze the douche!
Maybe Habib is
Communicating with her
Using Norse Code
– crucial head
Thursday, November 6, 2008Halloween HCwDB Contest Winner: Paul N.
A tremendous response to the HCwDB Halloween contest, with costumes so hilariously hottie/douchey, I’m having a hard time telling them apart from the real thing.
It was nearly impossible to pick a winner, but pick I did. Congrats to Paul N and his brave girlfriend, who took tacky hottie/douchery to a whole new plane of existence.
That costume has it all. Orange Face. Bling. Ed Hardy. Grey Goose. Boobies.
Great work. I tip my cup of the ‘Train in your honor. You win the autographed copy of my book. Claim your prize, sir and madam.
Here’s the Top 10 Superb Hottie/Douchey Finalists (in random order):
1. KH and Asian Sailorette storm the beaches at Douchemandy.
2. Brett M Guidos it Up in style.
3. Carson Y Macks. And then muscles it up to some boobies.
4. Cathie B brings the Winehouse while her boyfriend busts ‘Bag.
5. Cory B’s costume is so good, I almost ran it as a real pic.
6. Crissy and her boyfriend bring tremendous hottie/douchey forces into play.
7. Seth M busts literal signage, multi-colors and two hotts. Good work, Seth.
8. The Anti-Douche and his Hott overwhelm with a perfect Halloween combo.
9. Tom L and his Smokin’ Hott are almost too realistic. Are you sure this is Halloween?
10. I’m not convinced Dante is really in costume. But the limo is genius.
10a. Cim’s costume finds the key to the DB1’s heart.
And here’s a sampling of some of the other notable submits:
Baggin M ‘bags it up.
Brian C gets down.
Dante and his Boyz formed a Halloween douche posse.
Donk Diggler goes to town.
Gaw says “Whassup?”
Erik K is orange.
FSDU’s Douche Costume is minimal but his hott is for real. Goddamn.
Frankie forgets the Hott but makes a helluva douche.
Les Douches are actually kind of scaring me.
Double X has the costume, but where are the kissy lips?
Paul A earns a kiss for his costumed douchosity.
Billy B has the perfect costume and sidekick, but no hotts, sadly.
The Minnesotans know how to mock the douche.
Michael M goes “Double Pop” with a Sailor Cutie in tow.
Steve Makes Kissy Lips with a Naughty Nun.
Jordan J’s Tatts look just a tad too real to be costumey douche.
Billy B Busts a Move
LL is a Douche Bandit with yet another Sailor Hott.
GT and Alice make a surreal hott/douche coupling.
EDIT: Screw the Batbag, lets keep this lineup pure. Here’s Mike and Randy, who just sent me one last pic to make the cut.
Massive props to everyone who sent in a pic. The creativity and effort were positively antidouchian. If you didn’t see your pic here, don’t be upset, I’m just hungover, ran out of space and attention span this morning, and desperately need a coffee.
Wow. This post took two+ hours, but it was worth it.
Take your time and enjoy the creativity and the boobies.
Thursday, November 6, 2008Caption This Pic
Shuffling through the well over a hundred Halloween HCwDB pics submitted and eatin’ my Apple Jacks. In the meantime, here’s a Caption This Pic:
Kendra couldn’t tell what was making her more uncomfortable, Tony’s cassette belt-buckle, or the dog that kept sniffing her bumper.
Thursday, November 6, 2008Donkey Douche Forever
Let us not forget those hallowed Hottie/Douchey couples whose template, nay, archetype, establishes all that comes after it. Donkey Douche and his Persian Minx were one of the first breakout doucherstar couplings on this site in 2007.
Is the D.D. beginning to look like Sam Rockwell mated with a tangerine? Perhaps.
But while the Donkster’s body may sag with age, his Cheetos Glow will never stop. Ever.
Not for a thousand years.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008Chupacabro
Someone call the National Enquirer!
We’ve tagged ourselves the legendary Chupacabro.
Known for sneaking around small South American villages and giving the goats fauxhawks, the Chupacabro is the stuff of legend.
Douche legend.
Wednesday, November 5, 20083:10 To Pooma
Oh pouty Mamacita. Life has been hard in the dusty plains of the old west.
I know your mule has been giving you trouble, and the Sheriff runs roughshod over the townsfolk.
But must you ride into town and take up with two oily chest displaying douchewanks?
Surely there are better options.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008Superdana
How does a Mandana go up that high? Is it even physically possible? Or is this a Criss Angel Mindfreak?
Does a sagging 42 year old clinging to faded memories about his “slammin'” youth back in the late 80s really hide the corporeal decay through use of a giant swath of head cloth? Uhm, no. No he doesn’t.
But even more importantly, boobies.
Large, firm, round, tatines that sing gospel hymns of tabernacle choir and shake like jello after you add too much water and didn’t freeze it long enough.
Yup.
The DB1 is in a post-election haze. All is right with the world. And the Apple Jacks are sugary.
