HCwDB
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Friday, April 16, 2010
Hannah and the Double Frostys
While I was busy building a shrine out of Albanian driftwood and sun burnt Tsitsi clay to worship Hannah’s kneecaps, Hannah seems to have wandered off and found herself in a double Frosty metro trainwreck.
Do I have an unhealthy fixation on ambiguously Semitic pixie eastern European blue eyed doe brunettes?
Why, yes. Yes I do. And I blame the Mila Kunis.
Friday, April 16, 2010Friday Haiku
Spikey Blowout Ken,
Blasts wind into Simone’s face,
Hark! Too many beans.
Allergy season:
Claritin and Goose don’t mix;
danger for poor bleeths.
– Wheezer
Fungus from Ken’s head
Simone recoils in horror
From leaping head lice
– Vin Douchal
Ken mugs Bleeth Susie
while releasing Ass Kraken
to destroy Simone.
– Mr. White
The toothy eels in
Kim’s nostrils are making plans
to eat douche and bleeth.
– Dr. Bunsen Honeydouche
Axe sun tan lotion
Blatant, culture erosion
Implant explosion
– Anonymous
Ditzy young white girl,
Succumbs to sudden seizure
Just like Fred Sanford.
– scrotum pole
Oh poor sweet Simone.
Safer to stand behind horse.
Wisely shields boobies.
-Amerigo Vesdouchey
Drugs from left to right:
Cocaine, good marijuana
And lemon ball-sack
— saulgoode42
Kurt and Jen signal
“Two if by Pee”. Drunken Bleeth
should find a raincoat.
– Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Thursday, April 15, 2010Reader Mail: My Stupid Website Can Kiss His Ass
Reader Rod writes in with another thrust:
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i see you published my last email duchebag. nice. just proves i was right n ur a total jeoulous bitch. thats what i thought. u and your stupid website can chew my ass! kindly take your funny jokes, haha, and blow me.
loser.
Rod
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Well, since pics of hot chicks with douchebags are not your cup of tea, Rod, perhaps I can interest you in a pic of moobs and a lion?
Thursday, April 15, 2010No More “Skippy Gets Lucky”
First, Kelsey writes in:
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hey there a pic of me and a friend is on your site and I would like it removed please. Its funny but it could get me in trouble with my career. I also think its kind of weird u have a picture of me but whatever. Its the one of “skippy gets lucky” posted on april 13th
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So far so good. But then “Skippy” writes in:
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serious. skippy gets lucky take that down you do not own rights to that picture.
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Serious? Serious.
EDIT: The original image with this post was just a tad too disturbing to leave up on account of creepy Douchebaguette, but if you’d like to fry your eyeballs, check it out here.
No More "Skippy Gets Lucky"
First, Kelsey writes in:
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hey there a pic of me and a friend is on your site and I would like it removed please. Its funny but it could get me in trouble with my career. I also think its kind of weird u have a picture of me but whatever. Its the one of “skippy gets lucky” posted on april 13th
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So far so good. But then “Skippy” writes in:
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serious. skippy gets lucky take that down you do not own rights to that picture.
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Serious? Serious.
EDIT: The original image with this post was just a tad too disturbing to leave up on account of creepy Douchebaguette, but if you’d like to fry your eyeballs, check it out here.
Thursday, April 15, 2010The Carrot
Diana heard that beta carotine was good for the skin. The Carrot heard that fake tanning would turn him a strange, ethereal glowing shade of crimson.
And somewhere ‘tween the two, the universe found dissonance.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010Where's Pooper Mario Brothers?
Somewhere in this pic of chaste sapphic cuddling quality U. Mass Communication Major Sorority Girls, I’ve carefully hidden the Pooper Mario Brothers.
Look closely.
Can you find them?
Wednesday, April 14, 2010Where’s Pooper Mario Brothers?
Somewhere in this pic of chaste sapphic cuddling quality U. Mass Communication Major Sorority Girls, I’ve carefully hidden the Pooper Mario Brothers.
Look closely.
Can you find them?
The Nipster ‘Bag
There are good nip slip revealing shirts. And there are bad nip slip revealing shirts.
This concept breaks linearly by gender.
And Danny is unclear on the concept.
While Cowgirl Ronnie inspires rodeo clowns to bitchslap pedantic panhandlers with nunchucks. Which doesn’t make sense. But, boobies.
The Nipster 'Bag
There are good nip slip revealing shirts. And there are bad nip slip revealing shirts.
This concept breaks linearly by gender.
And Danny is unclear on the concept.
While Cowgirl Ronnie inspires rodeo clowns to bitchslap pedantic panhandlers with nunchucks. Which doesn’t make sense. But, boobies.
