HCwDB
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Monday, August 9, 2010
Frankie and Petey: The Boob Brothers
Somewhere. Out there. There are boobs to be grabbed.
And wherever those boobs are, Frankie and Petey will be there.
To grab them.
Monday, August 9, 2010Meatclown Matt’s Do and Don’t
Meatclown Matt don’t know from Weekly or Monthly voting.
Heck, Meatclown Matt don’t know from basic math. Or advanced rotary function.
But Meatclown Matt do know one thing.
The ladies love Angry Sun God Cartoon Ra shoulder tatt.
Monday, August 9, 2010Brothabag Edgar and Josslyn Just Voted
While prepping for the next HCwDB of the Week, Brothabag Edgar and Josslyn wanted to stop by and vote in the HCwDB of the Month.
And then pose for the next pic in the global modern art project, “iPhone Hottie/Douchey Bathroom Pics.” It’s being put together by a broad consortium of global artists and performers, including Banksy, Spike Jonze, Harmony Korine and Lilly Ledbetter.
The coffee table book, Hot Chicks and Douchebags Self Portraiture in Bathroom iPhone: The Global Artists Project, will be available from Simon Spotlight Entertainment in the Fall of 2012.
Sunday, August 8, 2010Vinny D's "Summertime"
I just prayed for a nuclear winter.
Sunday, August 8, 2010Vinny D’s “Summertime”
I just prayed for a nuclear winter.
Friday, August 6, 2010Neil Fung
Not since the early days of Crotchby, Soils, Rash and Fung has an oldbag this lame hit on the hottest wine taster at that cool downtown wine tasting event that never actually happens and doesn’t actually exist but you keep thinking to yourself, “if only I went to more wine tastings, perhaps I’d meet a girl who’s funny, quirky, and a magical pixie dreamgirl.”
Thursday, August 5, 2010Acey Douchey: Still Acey, Still Douchey
2008 HCwDB of the Month winner, legendary boat D.J., and all around septic asspud, Acey Douchey is still out there.
Still Jesus blinged.
Still spiked.
Still hitting on the Giggle Hotties.
Still deserving of a medieval bloodletting followed by a vigorous mocking by a school bus filled with giggling fifth graders.
Thursday, August 5, 2010Hardpocalypse Now
“I was going to the worst place in the world and I didn’t even know it yet.
Weeks away and hundreds of feet into a club that snaked through suburbia like a main circuit cable plugged straight into douchebaggery.
It was no accident that I got to be the caretaker of Ed Hardy memory any more than being back in douche land was an accident.
There is no way to mock Ed Hardy without mocking my own. And if his story really is a about overpriced and ridiculous t-shirts, then so is mine.”
— Col. Willard Putz
Thursday, August 5, 2010Randy Schlongson
Pink scarves and chin fung make Randy a solid stage-3 doucher.
But the real reason I’m posting this pic?
Tina. Red haired glory of leg curved glories. I would squat thrust in a paisley leotard through a quarry filled only with scorpions and old ladies playing mahjong while chanting dirty limericks in Swahili just for the chance to bitch slap the arthritic and decrepit pony currently praying for the blessed release of euthanasia that once gave her a ride at the summer carnival in St. Paul, Minnesota, in 1998.
Poor Man’s Debbie Harry, you’re okay too. I would end up neglecting you because it’s late, and I gotta get up early tomorrow, but really it’s because I eat too much sugar.
Thursday, August 5, 2010Brothabag Edgar Finds Wholesome Laura and an Ubiquitous Red Cup
The N.A.A.M.O.P. (National Association for Advancing Mocking Orange People) has just issued the following press release:
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For immediate release:
Thursday, August 5th. 10:00am E.S.T.
While we continue in our quest to mock douchebags of all races, creeds and orange colors, we do not believe Brothabag Edgar to be a Brothabag, and wish another ethnicity would claim him immediately. We suggest gnome.
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EDIT: Props to massengill for catching that Wholesome Laura is actually also Josslyn, making this a true hottie/douchey pairing across multiple pics. We’ll see that ‘fro in the next Weekly.
