HCwDB
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Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Chin Pube's Wooly Mammoth
Another piece of upchuck that feels like he’s been on the site before, but that last pic has me so rattled I can’t tell if I’m on my sixth HoHo or am chewing on a cat turd.
Wholesome cutie looks vaguely 17, so I’ll confine my comments to chin pube boy. WTF is he wearing?
Forgot to do the HCwDotW yesterday so am gonna try and get it up this afternoon. Any requests?
And on Monday… the HCwD of the Year. Yikes.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006Lady and The Thing
Holy sweet balls of flaming cheese, I haven’t felt this dizzy since the 10th Grade nitrous whippit experiments in my friend Evan’s garage. It’s like I’m being simultaneously punched and caressed by a boxer with a soft spongey feather in one hand and a brick in the other.
My brain can’t take this sort of abuse. It’s already mad at me over Saturday’s mohito-thon. Stupid mohitos.
This pic violates the rubrics of muon/lepton hybridity. It shatters the soul and rewrites history by inserting douchebags at key historical moments. The chapter on the assassination of Arch Douche Ferdinand is just wrong.
She is perfection. She is purity. She turns turds into gold. Well, except for the big turd she’s cuddling with.
And on that note, I’m having another mohito. The more braincells I drown in alcohol, the less will be left to contemplate this wrongness.
Tuesday, December 12, 2006Def Jim
Holy God damn. That is some serious Willy Wonka I’ve got a golden ticket chocolate perfection. Her Oompa Loompas make me want to go to a world of pure imagination. Uhm… her snozzleberries… okay, I’ll stop.
As to Def Jim, ‘bag hand gesture #64 might send him into the world of scrote, but he’s still feasting on the finest Godiva chocolate in the western hemisphere.
(sigh)
I’m gonna go play my Superfly soundtrack and honor the memory of the late, great, vastly underrated genius, Curtis Mayfield, and forget Hip Hop here exists.
Monday, December 11, 2006Billy Baru
In the immortal words of Judge Smails, “Ohhhh, Billy, Billy, Billy, Billy…. this is a big one, Billy…”
So much wrong. So much painfully not right.
I do enjoy what appears to be a “HCD” on the shirt, which is only a “w” away from plugging the site.
As to upturned, shocked out, Billy Baru, I’d like to chew on glass for an hour to get his mug out of my mind.
Hottie’s very perky.
Monday, December 11, 2006The Face Eater
Does his shirt say “Coll,” “Cholera” or “Colitis”? Or is that simply base-15 code for “Douchebag”?
Mmm… enhanced cleavite on a monday morning to make the warm and fuzzies dance around my peripheral vision.
I want to lock this hairy thug up until he throws monkey poo at his trainers. Not to mention the fact he can get a cutie to munch on his face while I sit here flicking dandruff off my jeans. Stupid dandruff.
Monday, December 11, 2006No Exit
Jean-Paul Sartre was right. In existentiality, there is no escape from the douchebag. They are omnipresent. They are everywhere. And there is ultimately no escape.
Dig Muto the Frog Boy’s rings, tags, glasses, and hair. Megods, look at that douche-face. Tell me you don’t want to punch an orphan after staring at this pic. And if that doesn’t scream nihilism, I don’t know what does.
Say what you will about setting a douchebag’s face on fire, at least it’s an ethos.
Sunday, December 10, 2006Flamed
I weep for the future.
(yup, I’m on a Bueller kick)
Sunday, December 10, 2006Where's Waldouche: Weekend Edition
Somewhere, hidden in this photo, buried deep among hotties, there is a skeezy douchebag.
Can you find him?
Mmmm… Beyonce clones….
Saturday, December 9, 2006Spam 'Bags
Apparently in honor of Saint Pat’s Day, some douchebag is using my email account as a front for spamming so my mailbox just filled up with a bunch of bounced emails. So we’re going to honor spammers with a rare, honorary “HCwDotM” award.
Blow me, email spambags. May your girlfriends hook up with this guy, get caught on video, and end up duped on a million websites.
If anyone emailed me and got a bounce-back, send again.
Saturday, December 9, 2006Saint Pat's Day
Today is Saint Pat’s Day here at HCwD. To celebrate this holy day of douchebaggery, we’ll drink cans of Miller Lite and purse our lips in bizarre and feminine ways.
I have to say, Pat’s kind of growing on me. Maybe it’s the earing. Maybe it’s the inverted “white silk tie with black shirt” pimp look.
But to me, Pat isn’t just a person of indeterminate sexuality. (s)he’s a state of mind. A way of being. A manifestation that says, “Love me. ‘Bag me. And ship me to Peru.”
Okay, I don’t know what that means. But I do know it’s the first annual holiday here at HCwD, Saint Pat’s Day. How do you plan to celebrate?
