Herpster
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Thursday, June 7, 2012
Herpster Thursday
Today will be dedicated entirely to mocking the disturbing trend of douche-wear as hybridized with the urban hipster irono-pud.
It has gone from fringe HCwDB trend to full-blown epidemic.
And by full-blown, I mean coital bathroom wrongness.
And by epidemic, I mean permanently shmear-tainting the once lovely associations I drew between Hot Chicks and librarian glasses.
So sad when fantasies die under the withering light of Brooklyn-Silverlake coastal genetic cross splicing Brundlefly mutation.
Tuesday, June 5, 2012Herpsters Suck
This reminder brought to you by scarves and the letter “E.”
Friday, May 18, 2012Artbags
Artbags.
Still out there.
Still annoyed by the mid 1960s turn from abstract expressionism to postmodern figurative collage.
Thursday, May 10, 2012What a Childhood Birthday Party Looks like to an Acid Tree Frog
Acid Tree Frogs see the world in very unusual ways.
Monday, April 30, 2012HCwDB After Dark: His Name is Mok
Pabst Blue Ribbon and the Herpster Complex
There was a time, not too long ago, when I enjoyed a tasty P.B.R. as much as the next red-blooded American male.
Was it good beer? Hells no.
But, as Dennis Hopper and David Lynch reminded us, it was pure of soul.
And let us not forget Leon’s clue in the great Midnight Madness. (Ah, the 1980s. When 40 year old actors played college kids.)
So what to do now that Herpster irony has appropriated the P.B.R.?
I remain agnostic on P.B.R.
I cannot condemn it simply for vicarious herpster taint. But nor can I celebrate it as I once did for its vacuous taste of rural Americana.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012Shmuckholio Parties in Brooklyn
Leticia and Claudia, the giggle Latinas from Brooklyn College, are way too amused when Shmuckholio reveals his patented “Wanna touch my spikes?” pickup line.
Brooklyn herpsters.
When not joining up to fight for Kony 2012, they would like you to sample their homebrews.
Monday, March 12, 2012A Pile of Herpster Sludge
Three middle fingers,
Two orange Asians,
And a hot chick in a forest fire.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012Herpsterbag LaVar
Aneroxic Models Only, please. Herpsterbag LaVar is too busy D.J.ing to bother with the chunky ladies over a six two.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012Somewhere in Echo Park, A Pabst Blue Ribbon Goes Unopened…
Herpsters.
Still out there.
Still upset that Deadmouse performed at the Grammys.
Germanic Inga spanks me upon the bottom with a cherry flavored ruler. Because I have been bad. And because I am Jewish.
Holocaust jokes. Not just for herpsters anymore.
