Herpster
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Thursday, January 19, 2012
The Blender of Societal Turd
Add 1/4 cup herpster
1 pair hot chick rave-glasses
Assorted clothing styles from the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s
One pair of firm, succulent boobie hottie suckle thigh seasoned to taste
Blend on “Puree” for five minutes
Voila!
Societal Turd.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012Grover McPocalypse Likes Hippie Chicks With Questionable Belly Areas
Grover McPocalypse also has a checkered past.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012Awkward Guy Wearing T-Shirt of a Hot Chick Standing Next to Hot Chicks
Don’t be that guy.
And yes, the title sentence of this post is gramatically ambiguous about whether the guy is standing next to hot chicks, or whether his t-shirt has a picture of a hot chick standing next to hot chicks. I blame my junior high school.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011Herpster Steve Struggles to Remain Ironic and Detached Around Jennie
More references to his love of the new Chick-Fil-A on Sunset might help.
Monday, November 14, 2011Troy Jaggofsky Attends a Party
Where Troy Jaggofsky demonstrates true upper eschelon puddliness. By conceptually fish filleting Wendy’s soul with Herpster-Douche hybridity of Mandana + Hipster Hat.
Then again, Wendy probably never should’ve left Hibbing Minnesota, neither. Lets move on.
Thursday, November 10, 2011Herpster Henry, Bright Eyed Brigitte, and the Hand of the Collective Unconscious
Possible nominee for my 2023 Art Show at the Guggenheim Museum?
Tuesday, November 8, 2011Herpster Melvin Gets Lucky
And by lucky, I mean nasal conversation about the upcoming ironic “Occupy My Pants” app Melvin is developing for Facebook.
Slutty Sexy Joyce Hott is just slumming it at an indie bookstore in the cool area of Portland at 2am on a Tuesday until her boyfriend, Cal, gets out of prison.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011It’s… Superherpster!
Look!
At an indie gallery opening in Bensonhurst!
It’s a hipster!
It’s a douchebag!
It’s Superherpster!
No f-ing clue what all these fake glasses are about, but I do know that Herpsterism is one of the sneakiest forms of douchebaggery appearing in 2011.
As to the Herpsterette, pictured here, The Librarian Hott signifiers clashing with potential signs of Indie Bleething are the personification of the douchadox. The moment at which I both desire pooch suckle and yet am repelled by cultural blight on the same contradictory particle/wave duality.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011Herpster Frank Wears All Black to a Wine Tasting: Discovers Epic Side Boob
Little known fact: Boobies can never be ironic.
Yeah, Frank’s barely a ‘bag, might even be a notta, but hey. Side boob.
Friday, October 21, 2011Dirty Harry’s Facial Pubes Got Run Over by a Truck
It’s enough to make me swear off Coumadin for a generation.
I have no idea what that means.
I’m babbling worse than Roman Polanski on the set of iCarly.
Marissa has the angelic smile and S&M underpinnings of 1930’s movie star and It Girl Jean Harlow.
