Hipsterbag
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Wednesday, August 21, 2013
DJ Smelma Fanga introduces America's favorite new party game
What is going on here, People?
Discuss this disturbing new trend, as e’er, in the Comments Thread.
Monday, May 20, 2013PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT
Please…Won’t you consider giving to the National Hipsterexia Foundation**?
A sandwich is a terrible thing to waste.
And yes, I know it’s early in the year but I would like to nominate Nermil J. Gerbilclench on the far right for “Most Trashcan-To-The-Head-Worthy” for the 2013 Douchies.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013Tragically Herp infects Velma and Blondie
Oh Bookish Velma and Blondie…your clue to avoid The Tragically Herp should have been his restraining odor…
Too Cool To Shower.
Thursday, March 8, 2012Brandeis Rachel Dates a Masshole
Updates a little slower this week, as your scruffly narrator is traveling on bidness.
Doing bidness.
And by bidness, I mean business.
But I like to talk all hip so the kids’ll think I know what’s up.
Justin Bieber is phat! That’s phat with a “Ph.” Phat. Not fat.
Crap.
Gettin’ older.
But I still see you Sexy Semitic Rachel. Ditch the Masshole in the douchatard, stat. For the Brandeis Salad Years won’t last forever.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012Grover McPocalypse Attacks!!
Somewhere…
… underneath a patchouli smelling sleeping bag on the outskirts of the Coachella Music Festival….
… a hipsterbag and a hippiebag mutate and morph into a singly unholy creature…
it is…
Grover McPocalypse!!…
… a Phish listening Bennington graduating sunflower seed spitting douchewank able to Bleeth unsuspecting Sarah Lawrence majors with a single game of Ultimate Frisbee!!
Uhm, yeah. I need a coffee.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011Stoagy McBain Voted in the HCwDB of the Month
Did you?
Mmmm… Milfy Marjorie… so spicey. So fiery.
Busy week here at DB1 H.Q. as we gear up for the 2011 Douchie Awards. Some hilarious writeups have already come in, and I’mma going through the archives and seeing what we got.
Hottest Hott ain’t gonna be easy to cull down, nor Golden Globes. Many boobie hottie suckle thighs to consider.
The HCwDB of the Year is also as wide open as it’s been. Who will win/lose? That remains to be seen.
But for now, I’s grabs some Trader Joes frosted mini wheats.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011Lounge Lizard Larry Borrows 40 Bucks
He promises he’ll pay you back on Tuesday for the hottie’s overpriced Mai Tai he purchased today.
Yeah, that was a Popeye reference. Whaddaya want? The Pop Tarts are stale today.
And yes, women do routinely wear slips to amateur boxing matches held in courtyards outside Cochabamba, Bolivia.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011Muttonchop Max asks Megan if she Likes To, Like, Listen to Snow Patrol, and if, maybe later, she’d wanna go smoke up together
Megan said no.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011That Creepy Dude You Knew in High School Now Wears a Light Blue Hat
And busts the patented “cigarette + fruity drink” move at the downtown Providence, Rhode Island, “Steam Punk Art Showpalooza 2011.”
Sadly, that nerdy hippie chick you also knew in High School never learned her lesson, neither. That painful reality is about two years away. After Creepy Dude crashes her Prius into a trash can after O.D.ing on Four Loko and Pop Rocks.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011The Arctic Flunkie
Skinny tie wearing hipster emo shoecruds may not be your standard issue Jerzey Douchebag. But they will always have a place of mock here at HCwDB.
That being said, real reason for posting the pic? Real World Hottie Juliette’s glorious globby mounds of firm baby feeding poet inspiring superball gummy gumms shake weight Jake LaMotta raging bulls of round mound of rebound.
Or, as Shakespeare once wrote:
But soft! It is the East. And Juliette is the sun! Boobs.
