Hottie Shenanigans
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Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Three Little Bros
I really just can’t get on board with updating nursery rhymes to connect with the youth.
Especially when they get to huffing, puffing, and blowing.
Thursday, July 11, 2013Will.He.Isnt Macks on the Persian Hotts
I see you offering me Mayan Eye of Coitus, Persian Meadow Soprano.
I raise your coital eye play, and counter with Malaysian Hairy Chest Scratch and Burmp of Guy Who Just Ate a Bowl of Cheerios.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013Captain Pubing Sings "I'm Douching Away"
I’m douching away,
Set an open course for the virgin hotts,
‘Cause I’ve got to be free
free of groin itch,
that’s been bothering me,
I’m bored, I’m the captain,
so touch my schwang,
We’ll search for your boobies,
And make sure you don’t have a schwang,
And I’ll try, oh Tebus, I’ll try
to fonnnnndllllleeee my nipssssss… in public.
I look to the sea,
reflections in the waves spark my rectal itch,
Some happy, some sad,
I think of doing jello shots,
And a DJ named Snitch,
we boinked happily forever,
so the story goes,
But somehow we missed out,
On smoking pot that’s old
So we’ll try, best that we can,
to watch me dress like an asswipe in the hoppppeeeessss… of getting some booty.
A gathering of hottie suckle thighs,
appeared above my nood,
They sang to me this song of boobs,
and this is what they Wooo’d,
They Wooo’d, “Come douche away,
come douche away, come douche away with me girls,
Come douche away, come douche away, come douche away with me….
Tuesday, July 2, 2013Blue Man Poop
It’s like a 1990s alternative theatrical experience mated with a Jerzey club at 2am on a Tuesday and pooped out an existential crisis that could shake even a post-epiphany Raskolnikov.
Yeah. I made a Dostoyevksy reference.
That’s why The Superficial continues to mint money and I sit around on my rug chewing on refried been burritos and sipping a tasty Mr. Pibb.
Thursday, October 18, 2012The Yo La Tangwads Discover Pear
I sense an odd blend of acoustic guitar, salsa rhythms, melodic rapping, and bodily fluids will emerge from this collaboration.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012A black guy, a guy with a giant chin, a herpster, and a tiny hot chick walk into a bar…
The bartender says, “Hey, why the black guy, giant chin, herpster and hot chick?”
Wait, I told that wrong.
I was just never that good at telling jokes even though I tried. In grade school, they used to call me, “the guy who was never that good at telling jokes even though he tried.”
Which I thought was a little too on-point to really qualify as a nickname.
Thursday, August 16, 2012Caption This…
Katie keeps it in!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012Corporal Punishment and his spandex division
Something tells me that in this case, the rod will be spared. And Sheena will not be spoiled.
By the way, Sheena, not to take anything away from your glorious black spandex, but this is how it’s done.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Tunahead Is About to Make an Awkward Fish Joke to Ashley
Ashley will not get it.
Friday, July 13, 2012Natalie's Night of Triplefail
Fail #1.
Three douches and you’re out. And by out, I mean emotionally fractured and vaguely alcoholic.
