Hottie Shenanigans
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Thursday, April 19, 2012
The Assphlegm Twins Get Lucky
Oh Glorious Gloria. You are uberhott of uberhotts.
I tongue your shoes with orgiastic delight.
How your potent smile sings melodic homilies of poetic aural dissonance across a landscape of bunnies and tree humpty hump. How I long to gnaw wistfully uponst your used bobby socks while juggling your grandmother’s seat cushions upon which you sat last Saturday while condescendingly joining her for tea before you went off to your professional pillow fight at a private party in the Hollywood Hills. Allow me to poke your buttock for but a tock of the ticking clock, and the fact of my mortality will be accepted with grace and aplomb.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011Kevin Sucks in The Gut
Sandy Continues to Choose Poorly
Speaking of Hott Sandy, seen previously with classic HCwDB uberlegend, The Crustacean, here she is posing with her bestie, Kelly, and Standard Douchpuck, Johnny Dumguy.
Making the exact same head tilt for the pic.
Note to ladies: I know you’ve worked on the perfect camera angle for months in the bathroom mirror, but when all your Facebook pics look exactly the same, your hottness is mitigated by a crepy Xeroxian mimetic echo of reproductive unoriginality. Thus, your essence is lost. And Walter Benjamin is not amused.
Thursday, September 29, 2011A Roadie Named Bart Gets Lucky
Lotta complaints in the threads about some of the skeezier pics over the past few days. Alls I gotta say is the douche extremes help to define the margins of alterity. And if you think any those ladies are trannies, you haven’t met a tranny.
Anyways, lets tone it back with some classic HCwDB.
Bart drops his years carrying amps for Maroon 5 to Kelly and Angela.
Kelly and Angela are supple taught pokey bounce.
They may not be classic beauties, and are trashy Bleethy with the makeup. But Kelly and Angela’s firm hindquarters sing metaharmonic odes to fractal patterns, the Universal Om, and rem-speed hallucinogenic humpty hump.
Thursday, July 28, 2011Sergeant Pooper’s Douchey Hearts Club Land
The United Nations of Stupid Hand Gestures approves this message.
Carrie’s body may say yes, but her eyes say deep disappointment from her parents over her failed orthodontist assistant career.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011Old Man Moe
Old Man Moe could just be an aging sessions rocker. However, Perfect Suckle Chomp Salina stepped from the pages of a hormonal teenager’s most fervered fantasies, and while I should be celebrating the inspirations of her potential persperations, I find my poetic linguistic coitus interruptus.
For the question tasks me: Ski Mask Dude. What’s up?
About to rob the place?
Or just facially cold?
Friday, May 20, 2011Caption This Pic: Baron Von Goolo’s Hit-and-Run Edition
First, before any of you dear readers ask, “But DS1…where is the DOUCHEBAG in this image!!!1!! LULZ!!!1!!“, in a high and keening nasal voice, allow me to point him out.
He’s on speed dial on Lickety Split’s iPhone, which is inside of her shoulder bag. You can just make it out between the thread pattern of the bag, if you REALLY zoom in. Yeah. That’s the ticket.
Second, Bag Hunter Supreme Baron Von Goolo throws the first stone in today’s impromptu yet fertile “Caption This”:
“”The snozzberries taste like snozzberries. And the camel toe tastes like father issues and bleach.”
