Moobs
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Tuesday, December 17, 2013
John Largeman Gets His Christmas On
At the beginning of the evening, John Largeman had five nieces.
Monday, December 16, 2013Joe Has Arm Fungus And A Shirt That Doesn't Fit
Bethany’s bosoms are reacting to Joe in the only way they know how.
Thursday, December 12, 2013Swole Man River
Swole man river,
Dat swole man river
Dem greased up chest shave,
Dey shave that man cave,
Dey jes’ keeps roidin’
Dey keeps on roidin’ along.
Dey don’t fist poodles,
An’ dey don’t fist pumpkins,
An’ dem dat fists ’em
is soon givin’ blumpkins,
But swole man river,
Dey jes keeps roidin’ along….
Coffee time.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013The Slovakian Boob Meld
I read about this in my sociology class.
It’s an ancient ritual that has something to do with honoring those who brought forth the fruit of the vine on this the day of hairtonement.
Joan Largeman is having nothing to do with this strange ritual. To the appletinimobile!
Yup. Got nuthin’.
Hey, whaddaya want. It’s Tuesday morning and my shirt smells of pee.
Thursday, October 10, 2013When Tattbags Grow Old
Suddenly the old man in the canoe looks very tired.
Wait, what?
I was referring to a tattoo of an old man in a canoe.
What were you thinking?
Thursday, June 13, 2013Inflatapeople
New!! From Mattel!!
It’s… Inflatapeople!!
That’s right, kids!!
Just add vodka, wait four hours, and let the douchey pool party begin!!*
*Only $7.99 at participating Walmarts, PetCos, and other fine establishments in the greater tri-state area.
* Consult your physician before inflating. May cause irritable bowel syndrome, rectal itch, shingles, lupus, or a total loss of faith in a just and moral universe.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013Rice-T Steps To You
Straight outta Riverside.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013Pinkubus
Once, back when I was working as a mule breeder and horse whisperer for a traveling carnival in Dubuque during the rainy season, I ran into a Pinkubus.
It was half-feral. Possibly starving. Crouching by the side of the road.
At first I saw it out of the corner of my eye. The touring wagons has pulled over at a regional bank on the outskirts of Bismark to resupply on wood grain and lemon marmalade. The Viscous Twins, one of the star attractions in General Aladin’s Sideshow, had a nasty case of the runs and so we had to stop for quite some time while Old Ma Weinstein tended to them with a case of castor oil and a wick of bronzer.
I wandered to the edge of our motley encampment to smoke a cuban and ponder a recently reread copy of Joyce’s “Chronicles of an Irish Ball Fondler” when I saw it.
A real life Pinkubus.
The kind you only read about in children’s books and Archie Comics.
There it was. By the side of the road.
In a high pitched squee it called out to me, “Hiiiiii!… Yooo hooo!!.. Check out my pecs!!… I’m a vegan!… Do you think it’s gonna rain?… I hate Justin Bieber!”
Pinkubii were known to spout inanities.
I scrambled for my Kodacrome to record the event for posterity, but it was too late.
The Pinkubus scrambled back into the underbrush, never to be seen again.
Thursday, March 21, 2013Supermoob America Vs. The Holy Cleavite
Moobs vs. Boobs. It’s like the graphic novel that Alan Moore never come up with.
Site’s been buggy this morning. Ha to reset the server. In the meantime, mock some supermoobs.
Eight months later, and you end up with this.
Monday, March 18, 2013Your Monday Morning Moobs n' Boobs
It’s like staring into a ruined Las Vegas credit rating as it happens.
Always bet on pear.
