nottadouche
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Tuesday, December 17, 2013
John Largeman Gets His Christmas On
At the beginning of the evening, John Largeman had five nieces.
Thursday, December 5, 2013Redneck Joe Scores Way Above His Paygrade
I’m inclined to give Redneck Joe a nottadouche and a goinpeace. Aside from tacky everything, just not enough ‘bag to convict.
As to Rural Becky, all is good in the milfy hinterlands of yore.
Then again, this post is autoposting, as my ass is probably 30,000 miles above Peoria as we speak.
Love that Dirty Water…
Wednesday, November 20, 2013Nice Guy Chuck Wins at the Game of Life
Even with the barely pubescent ‘stache, Nice Guy Chick Wins.
His prize?
Sclutsy Sophia.
What’s “Sclutsy” you ask? Sclutsy, a word I just made up, is when slutty and classy cohabit to form eternal loin want.
Enter that one in Urban Dictionary.
Either that, or Officer Sclutsy was the chief villain in West Side Story. I can’t remember which.
Thursday, October 24, 2013Moulie The Trumpet Snags Groupie Party Rachel, Earns a Nottadouche
Moulie the Trumpet is clearly a performer, is coming off stage, and seems relatively reasonable despite the Elvis thing. So Moulie thus qualifies for the rockstar/performer leniency and earns a hearty nottadouche and goinpeace.
Performer leniency is a rare dispensation granted when peacocking attire is in service of stage or theatrical spectacle and therefore is not an organic byproduct of douchal scrotal tendencies.
So go in peace, Moulie The Trumpet. Enjoy the spoils of your musicianship, as Groupie Party Rachel appears to be Mupets-era Bernadette Peters hott.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013Reader Mail: Unclear on the Concept
Angry Felicia writes in with one of the more dubious , inaccurate, and probably just the classic “spurned ex” douche tags of recent times:
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Subject: Shit talking doiche
This Travis he is a special kind of stupid meanin he doesn’t know how to open his mouth without talking shit to everyone around him. Travis might be compensating for only being 5’4″ but he has a habit of f@#king up anything good that comes into his life, but he would never admit it.
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Sorry Angry Felicia, totally not seeing it and you’ve presented no supplementary supporting evidence. Without probable cause, we must acquit.
Nottadouche.
Thursday, September 26, 2013Herbie Saves Up For a Month, Then Runs With The Goose
I gotta give it up to Herbie.
Sometimes ya just gotta save up as much as you can from your day job as a manager at Rusty’s Linoleum and Floor Tiling and blow it all on a night of overpriced bottle service and temporary cohabit with hotties who will forget your name before they order their next Appletini.
I feels ya, Herbie.
I feels ya.
Thursday, May 16, 2013Bad Fro Days
We’ve all had ’em, Kenny the Engineer and Part Time Roadie for rising hip-hop supergroup “B12 In Yo’ Azz” (they’re big in Belgium and France).
So hells, I’m inclined to give you a nottadouche and a goinpeace.
Stephanie, I’d like to see you behind the amp highrise in section 12. We have business to discuss.
And by business, I mean my pouring crumbled saltines and melted pop rocks into your sensible-but-stylish Sketchers, swirling them with purple drink, and then guzzling the whole thing while moaning in post-priapic pre-orgasmic ecstasy like a confused wildebeest that lost its bearings during northern hunt.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013Nice Guy Jack Wins at the Game Of Life
Good on you, Jack. Now talk Sophie into turning down the bronzer and may all your flapjacks be maple syrup covered.
I don’t know what that means but it sounds kinda dirty.
I’m talkin’ 2am IHOP bathroom dirty.
Thursday, April 4, 2013Douche/Nottadouche and uber-hot Tina Tatas
Plaid Pants Pete here may be on the cusp of doucheness; he may not be. But I figured I’d change the direction of the last couple of posts and turn down the douche-meter, and twist the Hott-Knob up to damn near 10.
Is P.P. Pete a douche?
Should he get a notta and go in peace?
Am I simply looking for an excuse to put a smoking hot girl on the front page?
More evidence for Tina Tata’s inevitable nomination for Hall o’ Hot can be viewed here, and here.
Son.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013Surf Gronkowski Is Laid Back with Sophia
Ya know, I was gonna tag a stage-1 due to the chin pubes and herpster hat, but those haciendas are a well groomed garden delight.
So what the hell, have a notta and a goinpeace Surf G. You seem content with yourself, and the obnoxious quotient is low. Shave the chinfung, though. For it is obtuse.
You and Sophia are set free. May your coital escapes be pure and with resonant integrity.
