nottadouche
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Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Timmy Wins!
Coldplay Sucks
I have never liked the band Coldplay.
Preening Aryan Chris Martin’s musical pablum is generic chord vomit, a eugenics based fascist musical regurgitation of melodic spew. A computer program of inoffensive “hit” generation. If A$=minor chord, print “emotions sway like ecstasy.”
But is Chris Martin a douche?
So far, no. With Rock Star Leniency combined with his apparent refusal to spectacle himself into a clown like compatriots like Gavin Rossdale, along with his apparent responsible dad skills, means I can only hate the game and not the player.
Which pisses me off.
I’m watchin’ you, generic fraud for the millennial set. Your teenage weepsterbation is a societal crime. And it shall not pass.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012Mike Wins At The Game Of Life
I got nothin’ on this guy. Nothin, I tells you.
Even the faux 70s glasses aren’t enough to convict. And so, by the by-laws I was sworn to uphold and without evidence to convict, I must acquit.
It pains me to do so. But it is true.
A begrudging Nottadouche and goinpeace, Mike. Even though I have my suspicions of douchery.
Cheryl, you are the hottest purity of suckle pooch to grace the butt globble since the days Tristam Shandy entertained the proletariat whilst robber barons stole. I drink the perfection milkshake of your cheekbones, dream of slapping your outer thigh with red licorice, and whimper for the inevitable tragedy of the corporeal form that awaits us all.
Monday, November 21, 2011Melvin In the Garden of Hot Chick Eden
I gotta say, good for you, Melvin. Messy mid 70’s Anchorman style aside, your poo eating grin is well deserved and prefectly apropos to the situation of illogic in which you find yourself.
Now bite the proverbial apple, and cast us all into sin.
Friday, September 30, 2011Costa Wins at the Game of Life
Good on you, Costa.
Your style may be eccentric, a variant on “Castaway Tom Hanks” and mid-career Cheech, but your joy at briefly fondling the Holy Hott Chomp Suckle seen in Hot Mom Sarina earns you a nottadouche and a goinpeace.
Fare thee well, hirsute stranger.
Fare thee well.
Thursday, August 18, 2011Lil Pepe Gets a Nottadouche
Ya know Lil’ Pepe, if you need to bust the open collar + bling Mehico giggolo look, good on you.
Have a nottadouche and a goinpeace.
Life’s rough enough as it is.
And if you can score some Drunk Caroline boobal fondle, alls the better.
But if I find that you’re not a Lil’ Pepe, you’re actually Average Pepe and just happen to be sitting on a couch, ‘bag is back in play.
Thursday, August 4, 2011Jeffy Nottabag Wins at the Game of Life
PIC DELETED
With no evidence to convict, save for the warning sign chin pubery (and creepy porcelain wedding doll collection), alls I can say is good on you, Jeffy.
Karen is purity of uberpooch slappa penguin suckle thigh frantic cattleprod ankle drool. Top shelf malt liquor that even Billy Bee raises an eyebrow for. I fondle her Mai Tai in a Cosmo glass awkwardly, but only semi-inappropriately.
Let this pic give us hope. And let us get back to douche mocking, stat.
Tuesday, February 22, 2005Ironic Hipster Beard Goes for the JUGGGular
Perhaps HipsterDouche Stinkle Von NeckBeard macking on Boob-a-licious Betty (possible cousin to Francine?), may be less pressing than, oh, say, his need of a shower. What say you…Nottadouche and go do some body-wash? Or is the Rob Halford Ironically Worn Metal Hat in combo with the Grizzly Adams throw-back veneer simply too much?
Hold forth, as e’er, in the comments section.
I shall have belated last-week Haiku front-pagers up soon. SOns.
