Pudwack
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Monday, January 10, 2011
Joey Broheim Is In Your Proverbial Face
Quartasian Sara doesn’t always drink beer. But when she does, she prefers Dos Equis.
Monday, January 10, 2011Hiphop Hennie Makes A Halfhearted Effort
Lethargic rocker horns suggest that Hiphop Hennie’s heart just isn’t into hitting on suburban librarian hotts at the club like it once was.
Maybe it was Aunt Jennie’s talk over Thankgiving about going back to a trade school after he finished his G.E.D.
Bored Hiphop Hennie don’t know. But somethin’s naggin’ him and it ain’t just his itchy lobes. Maybe Aunt Jennie was right. Maybe the DJ thing wasn’t such a great idea, yo.
Oh Carol from Marketing. I see you at Chachkis and then at Flingers. I stalk you in the Initech parking lot. Someday, I will invent my own pet rock and take us away from this suburban malaise.
Thursday, October 21, 2010Mr. Choad’s Wild Ride Continues
When last we saw Mr. Choad, he was climbing aboard some contraption with the Corona Triplets.
Today’s adventure finds Mr. Choad setting out on a new mission.
Acquire a case of beer without getting carded in the desperate hopes that Corona Triplet #2 will make out with him after homecoming in a few weeks and won’t realize he’s really 17.
Hard to mock that mission. Good luck, Mr. Choad.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010Mr. Choad’s Wild Ride
This post is named in honor of a long-time contributor who hasn’t been around lately. But there’s always a home here at HCwDB.
If you’ve been a ‘bag hunter, but wandered away, come back and rejoin the mock. We’ll be here for you.
That’s what HCwDB is all about. A collective mission to mock the puds and oggle the suckle thighs.
That’s what we do.
Well, that and waste time on meaningless intellectual pop culture frivolity in the spectral blender of the alienation of the virtual online Othering crisis, and ass pear.
And don’t forget, if you’ve tagged a pic of hottie/douchey wrongness that needs our collective social therapy through the art of mock, or you just want to offer to buy me a bottle of Night Train, drop your humble narrator a line.
Operators are standing by. And by standing by, I mean scratching themselves. And by themselves, I mean myself.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010The Silver Shmoes
While we let the HCwDB of the Month votes marinate (voting is still open), I gots five new hottie/douchey pics in the hopper for today.
Lets start it off with these wily aging pudwacks, hitting on two college Tiny Dancer Hotts in what appears to be the level two dream set from “Inception.” At some point, Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s gonna float by with a bunch of people wrapped in twine.
Monday, October 18, 2010Barry and the Kappa Kappa Kappa Woos Party in the Sauna
Looks like that duct tape strategy worked for you after all, Barry.
Good on you, Rural Pud.
Rural Michigan hasn’t seen this much excitement since Robocop ran for governor.
Thursday, October 14, 2010Doughy McWade
Yechhhh, that Gator pic below is starting to scald my eyeballs, so lets dial things back down to some real world Barclownery and multichick hottness.
Doughy McWade is your standard blowpud. Not much to add.
But I see you, Jenny Brunette on the left. Your eyes sparkle with innocence and a touch of fear. And for that, I spank your bottom with a Kenner Boba Fett action figure.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010Fwippy Joe
Between yesterday’s Pete Rocker Horns and today’s Fwippy Joe, it’s about time we got some real world stage-1 puds back on the site to mock.
And sexy mom Caroline. You don’t think you can compete with the latest crop of 19 year old Woo Hotties. But I would reassure you by softly humming Philip Glass harmonics through a straw, and then spritzing lime juice on your thighs using only a Windex bottle and a group of Quakers via satellite link to offer spiritual judgment and disapproving glares.
Monday, September 27, 2010Pete Tentatively Attempts the “Rocker Horns”
Pete’s a bit unsure how much he has to douche it up now that he’s scoring way out of his league with the delicious Desiree.
So we’ll call Pete a stage-1 douche. Dipping his toes in scrotal waters, but not too far gone yet.
Certainly not as far gone as Brazilian Emo Hulk (warning: not for the faint of soul).
Yeah, you only wish Brazilian Emo Hulk is a photoshop fake. That thing is all too real.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010Marty asks Michelle “Yo, whatsup? What’s Your Major?”
Marty is an Average White Pud. Douche hair and shirt, but his heart isn’t really in it.
Michelle just broke up with Shane. Shane was a stage 3 douche who looked like Mister Liptatt.
So, really, Marty’s kind of an improvement.
Together, they stand awkwardly, and ask each other where they are from.
