Pudwack
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Monday, August 15, 2011
Deltoids For Jesus Guy
Deltoids For Jesus guy approves of the HCwDB of the Month.
Deltoids For Jesus Guy also wants you to know that Jesus died for your upper body workout. But, most importantly, that Jesus was the bomb at dice.
Laura wears the ancient crest of her forefathers from the Scottish Highlands when going clubbing, to honor the spirit of ancients long past. And because it’s, like, totally off the chain, wooo.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011Joey Lumpcrustowitz Gives You the Finger
While Kate offers us the rare Mayan Eye of Pool Coitus.
And Happy Danny is just glad to know ya.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011Big Red is All Growed Up
Only the longest of longtime HCwDB readers will remember pudly ‘bagling Big Red from way back in 2006.
Big Red was going down the tragic path of collar pop and douche hand gesture. The ‘Red even made it to his prom in strange-ass green tie as he slowly grew into a college ‘bagling.
Longtime readers, I bring good news!
Big Red is all groweds up.
And actually looks pretty a-ok while pulling some quite tasty collegiate hotties.
Good for you, Big Red.
A tip of Ubiquitous Red Cup in your direction, and a hearty go in peace.
Wait!!… Is that a… “Shocker?”… Oh, Big Red. So close. And yet so far.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011Jimbo The Crust
Jimbo the Crust has a huge thing for peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Little known fact.
Widely known fact: None of the Paid-to-Pose hotties here give a flying crap what sandwich Jimbo the Crust likes to eat.
Except Marcie. Ever since her ex-boyfriend told her she was fat and ugly, she’ll pretend to like anything if it means a dude’ll smile at her.
You figure out which one Marcie is.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011Three Ladies and a Little Miss Pony
Chazz can’t decide which he’d prefer to play with.
Thursday, July 21, 2011Not Cool
Just for the record.
Exotic Dancer Lacey really wishes she didn’t drop out of High School to tour with the Dave Matthews Band back in 1998.
Monday, July 18, 2011Loafhead Is Sad
Do not be fooled by Loafhead’s “Hang Loose” hand gesture.
Nor the strange decision by Perky Pauline to lick his cheek in search of goiter-curing citrus after a long period away at sea.
Loafhead is sad.
For the Penny Saver no longer runs deals on mobile outhouses.
Yup. No idea what I’m saying. It’s a lunchtime sugar rush for the DB1 and I’m ridin’ that processed Hostess Cupcake high all the way to Twinkie Town.
Wait. That sounds vaguely gay.
But not as gay as Loafhead’s circa 1982 Jennifer Beals haphazardly torn moob shirt.
Thursday, July 14, 2011Smug Night
Smugness, in and of itself, is not necessarily a douchetribute.
It’s annoying to be sure. But it’s not inherently ‘bag.
Stupid tatt sleeves and Hitler chin fung? That there be douche.
Kelly is stoic and icy, and her lack of sexy aura costs her. But boobie beboobie, and that’s how life goes.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011Where’s Waldouche?: Blenderman Edition
Somewhere in this lineup of taut, firm and fetile wombs of the boobie suckle hottie kind that encourage species reproduction by summoning viable mates via the “Woo” cry, I’ve carefully hidden a Blenderman Waldouche.
Look closely.
Can you determine where his parents failed in their societal obligation?
Tuesday, July 12, 2011Sheldon “P-Funk” Epstein Rocks the “Kitchen Danze”
Nothing tells the Hotties of Harrisburg High that you’re “gangsta” quite like Puca Shells and Ubquitous Red Cup.
Well, maybe totally pwning the S.A.T.s.
