Pudwack
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Monday, July 11, 2011
Rosary Bling Still Sucks
Yeah you, Todd.
Take your Silverlake Stubble ™, your vintage turntable collection, the fact you claim your dad once toured with “The ‘Jovi back in Jersey” with both ironic and genuine pride, and your affinity for Blue Moon beer, and stick where the Jesus and Mary chain can’t abide.
Young Mom Carol attends all the P.T.A. meetings in a miniskirt. And for that, even the short bus kids applaud with their ice creams and mittens and go “Yayyy!”.
Saturday, July 2, 2011Comment of the Week: Choad the Douche Sprocket
From back on Monday, in the Stay Tuft Marshmallow Man thread, longtime ‘bag slayer Choad The Douche Sprocket wins this week’s coveted HCwDB Comment of the Week:
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Have you ever consumed too much milk, vanilla milkshakes, white bread, and extra-sharp, non-carotene-colored, fine white, well-aged Vermont cheddar cheese throughout an entire day…perhaps whilst watching your boxed set of Masterpiece Theatre’s Upstairs-Downstairs episodes…and then had to take a dump approximately twelve hours later?
If you have — assuming your bowels could move after such a repast — and then looked in the toilet bowl after your extended, forced contribution, what you would see would closely resemble Marshmallow Man’s steamy, putrid visage.
I speak from experience in such matters.
And BTW, she has a nice rack.
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Gabanna Boy Finds Boobs
Sort of like when 17th Century migrant farmers discovered aquaduct technology.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011“Crazy Eyes Killa” (real name is Jared)
Svetlana has learned many things on her journeys in America.
Things like how to turn on a red light.
How to grill a hamburger.
Even how to say “thank you very much!” in English so good, the Mexicans at the car wash don’t know she’s Russian.
But what Svetlana hasn’t learned? That shirtless, orange, groin shave revealing club douches who call themselves “Crazy Eyes Killa” aren’t crazy. Nor killas.
Their name is Jared. And they watch too much HBO.
Thursday, June 16, 2011Little Caesar Conquers The Far East
Dubai ‘Bag Laughs at You
Remember kids:
Every time you fill up your car with gasoline, you help another greasy Dubai douchebag order overpriced bottle service for the ladies.
Go electric.
It’s not just about the environment.
It’s about defunding douchebag nightlife.
This P.S.A. brought to you by Partnership For a Douchebag Free Environment (PFDFE). (Pronounced “Pufadefe”)
Friday, June 10, 2011Mr. Hawk Does Not Deserve This
In some weird alternate universe of inverted quark spin, a place where Tom Wolfe inspired Masters of the Universe asswipes dominate the financial industries while sporting giant greasy mohawks, Mr. Hawk scores Hottie Heather.
And the space/time continuum collapses into a singularity of suck.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011Krista’s Poor Life Choices During the College Years
Sorry, Brad.
Working at the Piggly Wiggly and playing in a thrash band may impress Krista from October of Sophomore Year to November of Sophomore Year.
But by Junior Year she’ll upgrade to German car owning business majors.
Which, come to think of it, is more like a downgrade.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011Boob Stare Guy Voted in the Monthly
Have you voted yet?
Saturday, May 28, 2011How Stella Got Her Infection Back
Sexy Stella and her BFF Monique from Spanish Harlem thought they’d have their summer getaway in Vegas; a nice change of scenery.
And what’s waiting for them? The Cuchifrito, on the prowl for las señoritas de mala compañía…better stay outa that cabana, Stella…
Y’know, I am getting the weirdest sense of déjà vu with this guy…it’s like I’ve seen him before….
Ohhhhh, that’s right…scroll down to the very bottom of this web page; there he is again!
