Reader Mail
-
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Reader Mail: South Africa Has a "Legend and an Icon"
Momoko writes in from South Africa:
—–
DB1,
This is a current pic of a guy my sister briefly went out with. He is 29 years old, just come out of rehab and has a 6 year old kid. As you can see from the pics, he’s not exactly on the wagon.
When my sister decided she didn’t want to see him again after he flaked out on her birthday party, his tactic to get her back included the beseeching phrases, “I’m a legend and an icon. You’ll never find abs like this again. I’m your big ticket to being one of the cool kids.” that is a direct quote.
PS. He changed his user name on facebook to Guido G___
– Momoko
—–
Sadly, more and more countries report Grieco Virus infestations.
Of note to ethnographers and historians in academia, the countries least effected by Grieco Virus are currently Prussia, Istanbul (not Constantinople) and Xanth. Because Grundy the Golem is having none of it.
Saturday, July 31, 2010Ask DB1: More Nottadouches?
—–
Hey DB1,
First of all, I love your site. I check it everyday and it makes me laugh. However, I do have one grievance with your site…and by my grievance, I mean this out of great respect.
You often have douchebag of the month, douchebag of the week, etc….yet you do not have any nottadouche examples…As much as your site is funny, after looking at it, it can depress me to the point where Nickelback albums and Glenn Beck seem pleasant.
Perhaps a photo of a non-douche with a hot chick can restore some hope for baghunters..I feel the site would be stronger if there was even more balanced reporting.
Can you make a nottadouche of the week? This way, douchebags who view the site can see some examples of how to fix themselves.
Keep up the great work. C heers,
-Musicman
—-
While I do receive the occasional nottadouche with hot chick, and as hopeful as it can be, posting such false hope on HCwDB may imply the Grieco Virus plague is receding. And while our best efforts are slowing the tide and turning the ‘Bag into an object of ridicule, the mutations continue.
Therefore it is the douche/hott coupling that we must continue highlight and mock if we are to have any hope of social redress.
But for you, I’ll give you one. “Happy Kevin Finds Ass Pear.” Complete with Rareass Yellow Cup. Good for Kevin.
Friday, July 30, 2010Brodie Says “Thanks for the Support Guise”
Workout enthusiast, master thespian, duck hunter and all around cunning linguist, Brodie, updates his Facebook account:
—–
pretty pleased with what i achieved, used to be a chubby lil f#cka now i like to think i’m doin alright. let me know what you think, drop me a pm if you wanna know what routine i’m on.
Monday — Chest + Abs + Cardio 30-45 Minutes
Wednesday — Back + Abs + Cardio 30-45 Minutes
Thursday — Legs + Abs + Cardio 30-45 Minutes
Friday — Shaulders + Abs + Cardio 30-45 Minutes
Saturday — Biceps and Triceps + Abs + Cardio 30-45 Minutes
FMF: thanks for the support guise, i’ve already had bout 5 or 6 pm’s so instead of replying to them all i will just post the routine that helped me slim and get ripped help.
—–
I saw Get Ripped Help open for Bad Brains in 1989 and they were awesome.
Friday, July 30, 2010Brodie Says "Thanks for the Support Guise"
Workout enthusiast, master thespian, duck hunter and all around cunning linguist, Brodie, updates his Facebook account:
—–
pretty pleased with what i achieved, used to be a chubby lil f#cka now i like to think i’m doin alright. let me know what you think, drop me a pm if you wanna know what routine i’m on.
Monday — Chest + Abs + Cardio 30-45 Minutes
Wednesday — Back + Abs + Cardio 30-45 Minutes
Thursday — Legs + Abs + Cardio 30-45 Minutes
Friday — Shaulders + Abs + Cardio 30-45 Minutes
Saturday — Biceps and Triceps + Abs + Cardio 30-45 Minutes
FMF: thanks for the support guise, i’ve already had bout 5 or 6 pm’s so instead of replying to them all i will just post the routine that helped me slim and get ripped help.
—–
I saw Get Ripped Help open for Bad Brains in 1989 and they were awesome.
Thursday, July 29, 2010Reader Mail: Soldier “A” Loses Faith in Humanity Because of Douchebags
—–
Dear DB 1.
I’ve been in the army for 10 years. I’m currently deployed for the 3rd time to the Wild Wild West A.K.A Afghanistan.
I’m happy to say that this will be my last tour because I’m getting out of the Army. The reason being is a combination of your site and the fact that I lost all faith in humanity.
After 9/11 and Iraq I thought that being a soldier and fighting for American people and possibly dying for my country was the greatest achievement I could ever accomplish. Sadly now my views have changed.
I don’t believe our society along with Douchbags found on our site, Lindsey Lohans, and Jersey shore morons is worth saving! I could never live with myself knowing that each day young 20-something American Soldiers lose their lives while we get to watch, read, and hear about the cast of Jersey Shore ring the opening bell on the NY stock exchange!!!
-A
—-
Have faith, A, and when you get your ass back stateside, I’m giving you one more mission: Hott Saving. To paraphrase the Torah, he who saves one Hott from a preening pretend tough-guy douchebag, saves the world.
You’ve served your country. Now, when you get home, get to work saving the hott from the ‘bag. Only then will your mission be accomplished.
Thursday, July 29, 2010Reader Mail: Soldier "A" Loses Faith in Humanity Because of Douchebags
—–
Dear DB 1.
I’ve been in the army for 10 years. I’m currently deployed for the 3rd time to the Wild Wild West A.K.A Afghanistan.
I’m happy to say that this will be my last tour because I’m getting out of the Army. The reason being is a combination of your site and the fact that I lost all faith in humanity.
After 9/11 and Iraq I thought that being a soldier and fighting for American people and possibly dying for my country was the greatest achievement I could ever accomplish. Sadly now my views have changed.
I don’t believe our society along with Douchbags found on our site, Lindsey Lohans, and Jersey shore morons is worth saving! I could never live with myself knowing that each day young 20-something American Soldiers lose their lives while we get to watch, read, and hear about the cast of Jersey Shore ring the opening bell on the NY stock exchange!!!
-A
—-
Have faith, A, and when you get your ass back stateside, I’m giving you one more mission: Hott Saving. To paraphrase the Torah, he who saves one Hott from a preening pretend tough-guy douchebag, saves the world.
You’ve served your country. Now, when you get home, get to work saving the hott from the ‘bag. Only then will your mission be accomplished.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010Reader Mail: From Russia With Chin Pube
Reader Tatiana writes in from Russia:
————–
Hiya,
Here are a couple of pictures of my friend Kristina who lives in Siberia, Russia, and keeps hanging out with these douchebags. She is a smart girl, just finished Law School, but her taste in men is horrendous.
– Tatiana
———————-
In Russia, Douche bags you!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010Ask DB1: Any Douchebag Harassment Pics?
—–
Dear DB1,
For some reason, I’ve got a hankering for a photo of a douche harassing a hottie bartender or wait staff or some other hard-working gal. Got any of those?
Thanks,
– Soy Bomb
—–
None right now, Soy Bomb, but I do have a pic of douchebags attempting to fondle a giant pic of Marilyn. Which has gotta count for something.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010Reader Mail: Snooki Rings the Stock Bell, Pete Gives Up
—–
DB1, SIR!!!
I am no longer able to faithfully execute my duties in service to The War Against Taints on our Society. I must respectfully step down and relinquish my duties.
I know some might say that i’m taking the coward’s way out, but i happen to disagree. Isn’t there something to be said for letting a society that elevates the spectacle of self indulgence — to a point that it gives them complete control over the huddled masses — collapse into oblivion and the annals of history?
Surely at some point during the collapse of the roman empire, someone somewhere took a look at their society and thought to themselves, “You know this is pretty messed up. Not worth saving. F@ck it!”
Well, today that person is me.
I can carry on this battle no longer. I shall go commit hari kari using Four Prong, and shuffle off this mortal coil. I wish you the best, but i know at this point the battle is for naught.
Godspeed.
– Pete
—-
Was it over when the Jerseyites Jagerbombed Long Island Harbor?
Never say die, Pete. Never give up mocking.
Friday, July 23, 2010Ryan Tags an Orange Inflat-a-Bag and Suburban Attitude Hott
Reader Ryan goes the extra yard for an HCwDB tag:
————–
DB1,
I had asked them to pose, and the Douche got upset. I suspect he knows about your site. I then took this while they were walking out, and got caught. Sir Douche demanded that I delete the photo, but his girl cautioned him not to get in a fight. He might destroy his new mirrored aviators. I asked him if he knew he had a trail of ants on his face, and he again nearly let his pythons and man nips explode from the sweatshirt. Luckily I am 6’3”, 300lbs, or I would have, “Suffered!”
— Ryan
————–
Risking personal injury in service of a ‘bag tag is never encouraged but always appreciated, good work, Ryan. And bonus points for asking a ‘bag about the ants fung. However, I think they may be bark beetles.
