retro
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Thursday, May 5, 2011
Come Back to the Ninety-Nine Cent Store, Jimmy Peen, Jimmy Peen
For those pants are bargain basement Woolworths designed by your momma atrocities.
Sissy and Mona deserve off-Broadway quality ab lick.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011Frolic Ninja
Do not mess with Frolic Ninja. For Frolic Ninja knows how to douche it up, Commodore 64 Style.
Thursday, March 31, 2011Hyman Lickowitz
Hyman Lickowitz has one thing to say to the kids: Dry, lifeless hair can take the fun out of your life. But you can put it back with Brylcreem!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011Major Havoc Shirt Guy Runs With The Goose
There’s not really much to say about Major Havoc Shirt Guy and Suzie running with the Goose, except that it brought back a pleasant memory from your humble narrator’s childhood.
That period, in late 1984, when I owned Major Havoc at Cambridge’s late, great “1001 Plays.”
Thursday, February 3, 2011That Dude You Knew In That Band in High School Who’s Name You Can’t Remember
Remember that dude you knew? The one in that band in high school? The one who’s name you can’t remember?
You remember. The band was called, like, “Wolverine Claw” or something. You used to see him in the quad between third and fourth period.
He was always bumming cigarettes. And failing math. And had a detailed explanation about how Yngwie Malmsteen’s fretwork totally, like, blew Steve Vai out of the water.
You remember. He had some plan to drive to California and “make it on the Strip.”
Whatever happened to that guy?
Now you know.
The last decade has not been kind.
Sunday, January 30, 2011Retro 80s Douchery: “Just One of the Guys”
Very few embodied classic 1980s proto-baggery quite like the great 80s teen movie villain, William Zabka.
How many early signs of budding choadal development can you find in this clip?
Thursday, January 20, 2011O Face Oswald
Oswald may dress like a sidekick villain from a mid-80s teen comedy. And while 80s teen comedy movie references normally make me happy, that don’t excuse the O-Face, Scrotewad.
Now step away from the Dean’s daughter before someone gets expelled.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011Retro HCwDB: With Bonus Kids Edition
Say what you will about the past, but one thing’s for certain. It’s remarkably dated.
EDIT: Reader SD points out that the pic is via the Awkward Family Photos blog.
Monday, January 3, 2011Baghwan Zenbeard Says…
Baghwan Zenbeard says:
This year will contain a multitude of hottie/douchey configurations you can not anticipate and can not prepare for. But you must mock. For the hottness requires lustful thoughts and demands on a society of culture fail that continues to permeate their boobages.
Well said, Baghwan Zenbeard.
You earn a hearty nottadouche and a goinpeace. Because the new year has made me feel generous.
As for the women, sell them to me. I will ravage the blonde uponst only the finest of stitched Iroquois sheets at break of dawn during the monsoon season, then call for tea and cale by moonlight, served by my servant man/boy, Urdu.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010The Creepshow 2 Lake Sludgetatt Survivor
Don’t think of it as really bad tattbaggery in yet another lake setting.
Think of it as the markings of a survivor of the Creepshow 2 Lake Sludge Monster.
