sportsbag

    Tuesday, February 16, 2016

    Footbag A.J. McCarron and his Wife Confirm The Existential Vortex of a Soulless Universe

    AJMcCarronAndWife

    Proving the old Knute Rockne adage that the harder you play the game the more your douchey-ass tatts make nearby ferrets upchuck their partially digested acorn seed, Footbag A.J. McCarron is currently married to this delightful slice of Key Lime Hottpie.

    Bro Ted in the background does not deserve to be caught in the photographic crossfire of this missmatched coupling atrocity.

    Throw the flag! Ten yard holding penalty! And various other sundry football euphemisms involving tight ends and penetration draw plays that should be readily apparent to even the most novice ‘bag hunter or huntress.

    But your humble narrator will not resort to such lazy verbiage. For ours is a classy website replete with only original humor.

    So let me merely say that this A.J. is the douchiest A.J. since O.J. D.J’d for Jay-Z by playing the Beatles’ Blue Jay Way.

    Yeah.

    Okay then.

    Now you know why I update HCwDB less frequently than a Hugh Hefner bowel movement.

    Uhm.

    Yeah.

    Wanna play cards?

    # posted by douchebag1
    Tuesday, February 7, 2012

    I'll Take "Awkward Hair Kiss" for $400, Alex

    Doe-Eyed Jenny’s youthful exuberance ticks the collective uvula, while Tattbro Jim plays in the D-League.

    And by D-League I mean DOUCHE league! Heh, you didn’t see that one coming.

    I need a coffee.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, January 5, 2012

    Guess This Dribbler

    Yes, this garish atrocity of sportspukery is a professional athlete of some sort.

    Give up?

    The Dribbler.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, October 19, 2011

    Baseball Player A.J. Pierzynski Makes More Money Than You


    Given it’s baseball World Series time and all, here’s major league something something A.J. Pierzynski proving, once again, that baseball players live better lives than you do.

    Here’s Pierzynski demonstrating how millionaires are, in fact, job creators, and should be taxed less.

    Svetnya is very pleased to meet you, now please go and fetch her another cocktail napkin, oh you are not a waiter? then nevermind but please leave anyway, unless you play the baseball as well, in which case you may stay.

    # posted by douchebag1