taint
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Monday, August 6, 2012
Heyzoos says "Heyyyyy!"
Heyzoos likes Skynard, man.
Shen-Li’s brother is at M.I.T. and no longer speaks to her.
Monday, August 6, 2012Arturo Has Not Heard of Deodorant
Arturo has not heard of many things.
Like quantum string theory.
And soap.
Skinny Kathy regrets quitting her job at Chotckes. But is waiting on a good interview at Flingers.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012The Long Journey of Stupid Red Triangle Head, his Sidekick Dieter Von Crappybeer, and Kelly
What began in an orphanage in Timbuk3, lived through much of the turmoil of the great Kardashian Glute Wars of the late 2009s, and ended in a rickshaw in outer Reno, is a sad tale of woe, wood grain alcohol, and a cute schnauzer named Peppy.
Yup.
I got no ideas what I’m saying.
My last day in NYC as a semi-resident. I shed a salty fuccen tear, and munch on a bagel.
Friday, July 20, 2012Friday Thoughts and Links – Rare Late Night Edition
Pay no mind to Silly Frames Fanny, or her mangina I’ll call “Dude Who May Or May Not Be Wearing A Shirt With His Own Likeness Emblazoned Uponst It” (DWMOMNBWASWHOLEUI, for short); neigh, I say… let us move on to Friday Thoughts and Links, DarkSock Edition. And by “DarkSock” I mean “Light on Thoughts, and later than Adele’s period).
First, on a somber note, tragic news about the loss of the mother of former regular Plinky; his mom perished in a freak skydiving accident, despite the heroic efforts of her OB/GYN to revive her. I’m just grateful that I had the honor of meating her.
Also, while there is some conjecture as to DB1’s absence this week, allow me to enlighten you as to what he’s really off doing… It just goes to show; everyone in Los Angeles is insane.
In fact, after meeting DB1 in person I suspected he may be suffering from Assburgers Syndrome.
This week’s movie pick: “Donkey Poop…How rare!!!!”.*
*Warning…You will be dumber for having seen this.
Well…time to address the 800 pound gorilla in the room. It really chaps my ass that many of you couch potatoes are only enthused when I helm because I supposedly offer Gratuitous Ass Pear.
Such as, for example, the glorious Gabrielle pics that Vin Douchal shared with me, featuring numerous prurient poses which I would NEVER post to this site, other than for purposes of this eloquent defense of my integrity.
Well, gentle readers, not THIS Dark Sock. I have True Grit.
Besides, even if I did post gratuitious pear, thanks to Title IV I’d be obliged to post something for the female regulars such as Nancy D, such as subliminal peen I happened to pause upon during a pee break during the opening title of last week’s True Blood…you see a show for 4 or 5 years, ya think you’d catch a subliminal orgy right under your nose…
Them’s your Friday Thoughts & Links, post-bed-time-style.
Son.
Monday, July 2, 2012The Garglebros Get Lucky
Never underestimate the appeal of sticking out your tongue when posing with beach hotties at least three levels of Scientology Clarity above your lowly menial ass.
Just ask the Garglebros.
Their hilarious performative tonguewankery served them both quite well in their late afternoon goal.
Which was buying overpriced sno-cone shooters at the Laughing Chicken in Malibu Canyon, and then, later, after Kammy and Babs abandoned them to go boink some surfers, wistfully sitting by their 1988 Honda Accord, staring at the sunset, and alternatively chanting their 2012 mantra: “Bitches, bro… bitches…”
Thursday, April 19, 2012The Captain and Tetnus
I need a shot. Actually, two shots. Penicillin and Johnny Walker.
Lets move on.
Monday, January 17, 2005Your weekend movies – numa numa nuts
DB1 has over the years cruelly inflicted us with numb-nuts frolicking in Jersey parking lots. This poses the question – does Euro-Douche electronica induce the douche virus? The answer, of course, is nearly always YES. However, as this large-boned kid illustrates, some wield a fierce and tragic resistance via auto-immune Nerd Virus.
And some are immune because they’re FUCCEN BAT-SHIT DOO-DAH KRAZY. Yeah…watch this one all the way through…I’m fairly certain that what you see at the 3:42 mark is the last sort of thing several now-deceased individuals ever saw on this Earth.
Saturday, January 15, 2005"What's All This, Then?" Wednesday
DarkSock here, proudly introducing our Newest Offering, “What’s All This, Then?”™ Wednesday (now offered a day early!).
As you can see in this archival footage from the late 60’s, the seeds of gauche low-brow club-baggery were planted decades ago in the era of Lizard King Jim Morrison, back when GAHHHH WTF IS THAT IN THE CORNER?!? KILL IT WITH A RUGBY BOOT!!!**
**If you have ANY idea what’s going on here, then by all means hold court, as always, in the comments section.
