tattbaggery
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Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Mashmouth Hits on Margarita
Say what you will about Mashmouth’s idiotic tatts, his stupid chin fung, and his zonked everything, but give him props for the Mondrian inspired neo-plasticism styled swimming trunks.
Margarita has the sexy but far more common Tijuana Eye of Alcoholic Coitus. Still, I appreciate and salute it with my momentary attention and fleeting affectations. I mean affections. Nah, I mean affectations.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011Lance Holds On to 36 As Long As He Can
Tastefully sexy Marjorie knows that the silly star patterns go on bikini, not the chest area.
Lance read a book once.
It was by Deepak Chopra.
He was confused. And bored. So he had a beer.
Monday, August 1, 2011Unfinished Tatt Guy Finishes His Tatt, Grows Chin Fung, Continues to Bleeth Sandy
Remember last year’s Unfinished Tatt Guy, he of douchey suburban ‘tude hitting on one of the purest of collegiate suckle thighs, the gorgeous Sandy?
Well here they are again.
A year later.
Sandy’s imminent destruction at the hands of stupid lighter tricks awaits.
And a nation rightly mourns this HCwDB tragedy, rends its garments in the proper Hebraic tradition, and spits on a clown.
For that is all that can be done to approximate justice after witness this horrific hottiey/douchey cohabit.
That and a period of pensive repose with a package of HoHos and a Mr. pibb
Friday, July 8, 2011Buddha Took a Dump
The DB1’s Friday To-Do List:
* Brush teeth
* sniff underarms, consider wiping with paper towel
* scratch crotch
* Enjoy tasty HoHos and a fifth of the ‘Train for breakfast
* Pick up alpaca food at Bob’s Country Bunker
* View this pic, ponder the waste of what’s left of human achievement as it sinks into cultural collapse
* do the dishes
Todd the Ferret
So named because a ferret once threw up on Todd’s shoulder.
To commemorate the incident, Todd had the partially digested bits of plant, garbage scrapings and small woodland fauna guts memorialized on his body in the form of a tattoo.
Perky Paulina has the taut, well toned, and surgically enhanced drinkable body that exists nowhere in nature, but everywhere in the mind of a thirteen year old boy who doesn’t want to study for his chemistry exam.
Looking at you, Michael Rosenbaum of 15253 Evergreen St., White Plains, New York. Get back to studying.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011Manos: The Pecs of Fate
If Only Sultry Brunette Back Arch Marsha knew what’s coming next.
Yup.
That’s right.
Manos,The Pecs of Fate II: Ass Pear Reveal Thigh Grab.
Friday, May 27, 2011The Smirking Rooster
What do The Smirking Rooster and Scarlet O’Hair have in common, besides an affinity for Lady Clairol “Paint The Town Red #044”?
Why, they both love exotic pet birds of course!
She’d like a cockatiel, and he’d like a cockatoo.
Sorry.
Thursday, May 5, 2011The Choad Runner
Wile E. Coyote just took a dump on the highway.
Yeah, it’s true. The H.C. side of this equation is not holding up its end of the dialectic zen balance with Mr. Cartoon Chest and Undie Poke. But what are ya gonna do.
Have some Gal Gadot.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011Prince Meatwad Gives Orders
“Fetch my servant wenches, Squire! Bathe them! Shave them! And bring them to me!”
“Uhm, Prince Meatwad? Things like that aren’t really done in this country. Individual autonomy, human rights and all that.”
“No? Well then scratch my “Pacas” belly tatt.”
“Uhm. Okay.”
Thursday, April 28, 2011Manny Grabassky
Manny’d only be a stage-1 Cholobag, or even earn a nottadouche, if he didn’t have a tatt of a naked woman, or maybe that’s Jesus with breasts, bound and gagged, on his left wrist.
Tattbaggery. No excuse.
Granted, the grabass move by Mr. Grabassky is probably an inevitable byproduct of expectations brought about by the meaning of his last name. Kind of like how Shelly Givesamazinghead has struggled her whole life.
But oh, sweet curvy Bikini Katie.
We needed some freckle taut red-head suckle thigh on this Thursday. And so we shall perceptually imbibe.
