Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

Peter Pumpinhead Inflates to Biblical Proportions

Speaking of epic douchery…

Sadly, Peter’s pupae state, back before hyper-cartoonishness had set in, is but a distant trifling echo.

Mary Mammageddon would like to smile. But her face might crack.

Crack, I says.

Muskrats.

Barack Obama Wins, The Unholy Grieco Freaks Out, the DB1 Responds

As part of my reconnaissance responsibilities as lead ‘bag slayer, I have been Facebook “friends” with the Unholy source Douche of the Scrotocalypse, The Grieco, for many a moon.

I monitor this unholy cesspool as a civic duty and a national service.

But last night, in the wake of Barack Obama winning re-election, The Grieco melted down. Here is a record of our exchange.

Griecobag on Facebook:

———–

Another 4 more years of this shit ……. we are fucked .. WOW …REALLY YOU LIKE THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING , Maybe thats why are education system 24th in the world …….pathetic…. we have turned into a stupid country… congrats to ignorance!!!!!!!

———-

DB1 in Timeline:

————-

And that is why you’re the source douche, Grieco.

————-

Griecobag by message:

————–

And I have Know idea who you are .. but your an idiot

————–

It is rare indeed when DB1 and Griecobag directly clash. But when it happens, it is epic.

Screw This Douchebag Crap, Lets Look at Some Ninja Pear

Ninja Pear will take you down.

Through coitus.

Israeli Etan Show You Smooth Pec, No?

Later, Israeli Etan show Cornfed Kimmy Sisters his uzi!

Get it?

Get it?

Uzi!

It a metaphor!

For penis!

What you not like Etan jokes? You got a problem, bro? Let take it outside.

Boaty Bobby Voted…

And lookit that! Adonai rewarded him with a Sephardic eight-pack of pear.

The same thing could happen to you if you vote!

Okay, enough civic duty crap.

Lets Pear out with some Vegas Asianic Pear.

That’s what I’m talkin’ about on vote day.

It's Election Day!! Benzino Reminds you to Boobs

All of us, be they rich or boobs, white or boobs, must do our boobriotic duty today and vote. Boobs.

A boobic service from all of your friends here at HCwDB.

Hurricane Sandy and Herpster Van

Hurricane Sandy had the name first, and she’s not giving it back. Not even if Herpster Van finally shaves his Movember scruff.

Those douche-glasses are automatic stage-3 alert groin punch, offensive on so many cultural, theoretical, and historical levels.

I shave a schnoodle’s nadsack as a humble apology to Vishnu, and softly curl up and nap in Sandy’s heavenly leavened loaves of manna boobie prod.

Brothabag Johnson and Sexy Ashlanna

One of the reasons we feature so few brothabags on the site is because so much of douche culture involves suburban whiteboy appropriation of urban, black signifiers (hat tilts, b-boy chains, etc.)

Happy Brothabag Johnson is a great example. He’s havin’ a good time. Seems relaxed even in close presence with Sexy Ashlanna’s soft, supple heaving cleavite of peripatetic perspiration.

Still. We cannot forgive douchey facial hair, confusingly pointless gold chain, and undies poke. Stage-2 ‘bag status for B.J.

And Sexy Ashlanna for pooch suckle giggle tickle.

Melons

This list of melons includes members of the plant family Cucurbitaceae with edible, fleshy fruit (e.g. gourds or cucurbits). The word “melon” can refer to either the plant or specifically to the fruit. Many different cultivars have been produced, particularly of muskmelons. Although the melon is a botanical fruit (specifically, a berry), some varieties may be considered culinary vegetables rather than fruits. The word melon derives from Latin melopepo, which is the latinization of the Greek μηλοπέπων (mēlopepon), meaning “melon”, itself a compound of μῆλον (mēlon), “apple” + πέπων (pepōn), amongst others “a kind of gourd or melon”.

Steroidicus Lepus

HCwDB of the Week/Month: Benzio and Soho Sophia

HCwDB of rank putridosity. We’ll see these two, and this butt fondling butt fondle in the Yearly.