Pinky Ringer Approves of the HCwDB of the Week
Pinky Ringer, the Collective Hand of Douchal Antimatter, approves of the HCwDB of the Week by Goose Running into Julia and Rache’s coy uvulas.
Beware the coy uvula. For it will wreck your Prius in a fit of rage at 2am outside the Rite-Aid on Sunset.
HCwDB of the Week: Trent Assholio and Luscious Larissa
A fairly triumphant and toxic combo of HC and DB takes the prize this week.
Trent Assholio is pure assholioness.
Lucious Larissa offers Swedesh Boobal Landing Pattern.
Together, they make plop.
The Human Race is Very, Very Strange
Alan Thicke for the win. Blue mandex for the sperm-killing loss.
Comment of the Week: Young Alec Baldwin
There are performances. And there are performances. And then there is this.
So you’ll indulge me if I deviate from the usual weekly award to give Mr. Baldwin the coveted Comment of the Week. For he is God.
Friday Thoughts and Links
Aye o’er sun dappled hills at peak o’ sunset…
Coffee pots percolate with douchal scent,
The dusk smells like poo…
The clattering of doucheboat arrives at dock,
The tragedy of the hotts… ne’ermore… ne’ermore…
— Excerpt from “The Tragedy of the Hotts” by Dylan Thomas, 1942.
Here’s your links:
Your cheesy 1990s Troma “Horror” DVD Pick of the Week: “Get your goddamn tongue out of my goddamn cousin’s mouth!”
Lego Batman. If the movie looked like this, I might care about it. As it is, redundant self-serious “high art” superhero disaster porn bores me to piddle.
John Mayer. Still out there. Still a douchebag.
Hebrew National Hotdogs not Kosher? That’s not kosher. Speaking of, that’s the title of my new sitcom idea, “That’s Not Kosher.”
This British kid is my hero. Slugworth deserved it.
Vice’s Guide to Dating Rich Girls is pretty spot on and humorous. Well worth a gander if you have time to kill this weekend.
Friends you should Unfriend on Facebook. Nickelback Fans for the Unfriending.
Shia LaBeouf stars in arty music video, reveals his penis.
David Lynch’s Rock of Ages. Now there’s a movie I’d see.
It’s almost summertime. You like fruit? How’s about some:
Mmmm… juicy. and by juicy I mean butt.
EDIT: Site was down for awhile, but it’s back up, and these links are sweet, so apologies for the outage and enjoy…
The Douchepocalypse Dawns…
… in the distance, a lonely wolf whimpers against a bone chilling wind…
… the battle begins…
Friday Haiku
Sir Roofus Malfoy
Tries to glamour a Muggle
With his tiny wand.
on top of the Albino
the wheelbarrow should have stayed
Pit of Despair, indeed
— Melvil_Duchi
The zombie Hitchens
Scours London for bath salts
And Anglo call girls.
— Capt. James T. Douche
She always dresses
To suit the occasion. This
Occasion was drapes.
— The Reverend MonkeyHole Kroeger
Hot chick with Fatt bag
British Empire continues
Millenial fail
— The Dude
Lord Autumn Bottom
Wants to show Ms Twiggy his
Yellow Submarine
— saulgoode42
Guy in this photo
Makes me ask the following;
Is Gregg Allman dead?
— Doucheywallnuts, I says
A much closer look
Reveals rare double lapels
Ray Charles dressed better
— Charles Douchewin
No style change for Steve
Since his grunge band broke up in
Nineteen ninety five
— Ich verstehe sie ist heiß
Oh those were the days
Elf extra in Lord Of The Rings**
Downhill spiral since
— Et Tu Douche?
**10 points to Gryffindor for Et Tu – D.S.
Bath Salts Hugh Jackman Reaps the Benefits of Stardom
Then again, is Bath Salts Hugh Jackman really interested?
Blonde Model Premium Super Mayan Eye of Coitus is reserved only for celebrities. The bouncer is now asking you to leave.
Caption This Pic
“Now Kelly, why would I roofie your mai tai? My peen hasn’t worked since the Reagan years! And by Reagan years, I mean the last cycle of synthrol.”
Giuseppe's Thousand Yard Stare
If I’m feeling generous, I’mma go with a notta and a goinpeace for Giuseppe, even if the double-button thing is vaguely ‘baggy.
But I’m posting this pic for Shana and Lilly’s matching cloth tops. They may not be up in the single malt level of hottchickery, but, as Henry George once wrote in Progress and Poverty, “Boobs.”
And Shana’s tickle pooch is slobber gnaw.
Yeah, I said “tickle pooch is slobber gnaw.” What are you gonna do about it, Mrs. O’leary? Circle it in red pen? Give me a “D”?? I haven’t been in your class in years! Bwahahahaha!
