Friday Thoughts and Links
A longtime reader just sent me this pic, which he found in a folder he’d set aside for HCwDB back in the halcyon days of 2006. A classic-era douchebag runnin’ with the Goose. Unironically. A hot chick corrupted by Goose Runnin’.
Oh the days when the mock was new and the “game” was still seen as literature.
But there is still so much to be done. Especially when Herpsters crowd beer ads and Ed Hardy continues its biological contagion spread across the Wal-Marts of America.
And the Wal-Marts of my soul
Here’s your links:
Your HCwDB Classic Rock CD Pick of the Week: “Big Sky looks down on all the people who think they got problems… They get depressed and they hold their head in their hands and cry…
People lift up their hands and they look up to the Big Sky…
But the Big Sky is too big to sympathize.”
Your humble narrator needs bail money
I hope the missing Fox Studios exec is okay and all, but what’s with the orangeness?
Herpster Suck. Reason #43 I moved out of Los Feliz last year.
As a Pats fan for life, it makes me very sad to bring you this. But it is my duty and my obligation: Bradyhawk.
Speaking of doucheyhair, where do annoying herpster practitioners of “dubstep” go for hair inspiration? Llama.
Hair Abs. Over six years running this site, thousands of pics seen that cannot be unseen, but that was a first. Lets hope it’s a last.
Whenever you get depressed about a world filled with insanity, remember, it’s also a world that produced Sifl and Olly.
What happens when a kitchen brush has a fauxhawk? Should we grant a Plate Scouring Leniency Exemption?
But you are not here for douchey kitchen appliances. You are here for Pear. And today, you get not one but two Pear desserts:
Not enough? Then enjoy some
And if that don’t satiate your pear needs, then I don’t know what.
Friday Haiku
Adams Family
New Clothing Line for ‘bag/bleethes:
Tickle Me Fail-More
Satanic dentist
Needs two lovely assistants
To scrub off his chest
— saulgoode42
Wings of Death dripping
with blood? No; sweaty chest made
Crayola runny.
— Douche Wayne
Hunting for vampires
Turns on hots. Van Helsing has
Bag of silver d*ldos.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Cosmetology
School Grads **CUT** loose on grad night.
Eight weeks was killer!
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Vlad the Impaler
Has used his tool on these bleeths
It burns when he pees.
— Doucheywallnuts
How can we live in
A world where gothy Harlow
Wears McDonald’s wig?
— Nancy Dreuche
Rejected actors
From Von Goolo Halloween
Start own show, “Dullards”
— Vin Douchal
The Choadal Nachos Bother Librarian Ellie
I’m at the point of throwing my librarian fetish into the dustbin of history.
That place where discarded former boobie hottie suckle thigh hotttributes
reside.
Like when I had that thing for thong reveal back in 2000 before Christina Aguilera made me never want to eat ham soup again.
Or my deep pre-pubescent childhood attraction to women who wore tons of eye makeup and red cheekbone rouge after seeing Michelle Pfeiffer in “Into the Night” on HBO in 1987.
Yup. The herpsters are killing my librarian glasses fetish. This is not a good development.
What a Childhood Birthday Party Looks like to an Acid Tree Frog
Acid Tree Frogs see the world in very unusual ways.
Earwigs
Still out there.
Still attaching themselves to hottie ear like Wrath of Khan brain bug.
Reader Mail: Medicine 'Bags
—————
Hey DB1
Well again more of my former classmates have been acting up! I can’t believe these fuccers are actually allowed to work with medicine that people will consume.
I ask myself sometimes how I managed to survive 4 years of a doctorate program surrounded by these assholes?
Looking back it was probably the copious injestion of Herradura Silver and Miller High Life.
Regards
CJTD
————–
I could write a whole response to this using only 80s film references:
You using the whole fist there, doc?
I weep for the future.
Now I know why tigers eat their young.
Ah, the 80s. Good filmic times.
Vinnie Spaghetti is a Fluffer
Of his hair. What?
Mmmm… Monique… how I softly massage your grandmother’s discarded soup apron with only a cannister of melted fruit roll-ups and an egg beater to ward off angry ferret spirits. Your cleavite is the holy beacon siren call of a better universe denied the persecuted Odysseus. And so I pooch tickle your bottom with an ostrich feather, and retire to the veranda to meditate on the teachings of Rashi.
