Comment of the Week: DarkSock
Darksock waxes pearstalgic about Princess Pearielle and wins the coveted HCwDB Comment of the Week:
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I have a weakness for spinners…oh yes I do.
I’d taunt a rabid mother polar bear with it’s still-warm cub’s carcass, wielding only a tasty hank of prime rib and a purple jelly dong, just for the privilege of smelling the breath of the stupid neighbor’s mutt that ate the scat of her toy poodle in the vain hope that one molecule of her exfoliated skin shed into the dog dish…simply because that molecule may have brushed against one of her precious ass molecules.
When asses look like that they should be studied, have white papers written about them, and then firmly spanked. By architects. From Biloxi. In black face, mouse ears, and wielding an erection that lasts more than four hours.
Medical FACT.
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Friday Thoughts and Links
Rocker Horns.
Still out there.
Still douchey.
But feral Malaysian Hotties running wild in L.A. make your humble narrator joyful and festive.
Been an interesting week here at the ole’ homestead. Lots to talk about. Lots of emails coming in. Nice to see HCwDB firing up again with great comments threads and energy. Just when I think I’m out, they pull me back in.
Creepy Japanes Face-Toy wants to bite your finger.
Here’s your links:
Orange New Jersey mom is Tanorexic. C’mon people, lets stop the cycle of orangeness. Or poo, as the case may be.
David Lee Roth explains the Brown M&Ms.
Slate runs an excellent article on the pathology of tattoos. The need to turn our bodies into spectacles in the age of overstimulation reminds us of how far we’ve fallen.
The latest trend in annoying chefdom: stupid tattoos.
Goldblum. Death Wish. Life is good.
When did Beer commercials become some herspter Instagram nightmare? Et tu, Corona?
Note to the American Media: Sideboob can never be too much.
Remember kids, hot chicks are also crazy.
Okay, you’ve earned it:
Imbibe. For the weekend has cracked.
Vinny Yucksalot and Hot Mom Sue
Because Jesus died for sheer party shirts.
Ain’t that right, Possessed Alpaca?
Friday Haiku
Jim smiles; “Yes, they’re real.”
But Jim is referring to
Her seashell earrings
***********************
Jim’s proud of himself;
Redirected her money;
Nose job? No, boob job!
Her toucan beak serves
Well to pick the pieces of
Baclava in beard.
— The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Old man and the sea
Sailed the mighty ocean blue
On board bleeth’s fake tits
— Magnum Douche P. I.
Sepsis has run wild.
Starting there from his right arm.
It’s poo in bloodstream.
— Franklyn DealorNo Doucheifelt
Smile when I say “SKANK!”
Oblivion is a fake rack
In a douchebag’s hands.
— troy tempest
At the wrap party
For “Anal Adventures Six”
Sound guy meets the star
— Ich verstehe sie ist heiß
Sue used the razor
For poolside groin shave reveal
Jim sports face merkin
— Dude McCrudeshoes
An old silent pond…
Douche and bleeth jumps in the pond,
splash! Silence again.
— Doucheywallnuts
"Sarah Phillips," ESPN, and the HCwDB Connection
Many of you may have read yesterday about the strange story of “Sarah Phillips,” a mysterious online freelance columnist for ESPN who was investigated for hiding her real identity, or something to that effect.
And here’s a followup story on the strange construction of the online persona of “Sarah Phillips” from the Bleacher Report.
Sarah Phillips was subsequently let go by ESPN after the story broke.
Turns out she has a bizarre connection to HCwDB.
You see, “Sarah” was featured in one of the more hilarious pics from 2010, “Mandarin Orange,” pictured here. Allegedly, “Sarah” is the hottie on the right.
Things were bopping along smoothly, until, in mid April of 2011, the following email came in to me from an email account named “Sylvia Sanchez:”
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Hello,
I was recently informed by my employer that my image appears on your website in three locations:
(–links–)
I never authorized my image to be used on your website. I understand the purpose of the website is for comedy, however, I work for a very strict company and this type of publicity has me on the verge of losing my job.
Please remove the images immediately. I appreciate it.
Thank you,
SP
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When I asked which person she was in the pic, to confirm it wasn’t a prank, I got the following:
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I am on the far right. I am the rightful owner of this image. Whoever sent you this image stole it from my old MySpace page. It was not sent by any of the 3 of us in the image—if someone claimed to be one of us, then I would like their contact information and I will follow up legally with them.
(–links–)
Please remove the images. I don’t want to make this a legal battle for no reason.
Thanks.
—————
This was followed by various hysterical legal threats and three more followups over the next two days, until I finally cropped her out of the pic. I’m only posting it again since it’s already up at DeadSpin.
Here was the initial post with the edited pic (without “SP”) now in place. Here was Mandarin Orange competing for the 2010 Douchie Award for Orangest Orange (also with the pic replaced by the edited version). And here’s another hilarious pic of Mandarin Orange for no reason other than he’s really, really orange.
Not sure what to make of any of this, but for those investigating the bizarre online journey of one “Sarah Phillips,” this should make an interesting contribution to the conspiracy theory timeline.
Ask DB1: Autos that are Autobag?
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DB1,
I think we can agree that certain after-market automotive accessories may be douchebag signifiers. But are there car models that, straight off the lot, signify that a douchebag is likely to be behind the wheel?
When I was younger, young men we’d call “greasers” often drove Camaros or ‘Vettes. They are now the parents of today’s Guidos.
Was their choice of automobile a pre-signifier of douchebag offspring? Are there car models of today that signify Grieco Virus status?
Yours yet again in continued opposition to the ‘taint,
Dan
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White BMW 535.
Autodouche.
Asswipe With A Coors Light Bothers Kelly
Sometimes ya just gots ta title the pics like they is.
Especially when they offered the hallowed Sumerian Boob Squish.
Ain’t that right, homies?
Orangukevin Says Orangudan Refuses to Commit
Swedish Anya can confirm that Orangukevin’s commitment to the Orange Life goes well beyond the buttockal region, and all the way back to birth.
Orangudan Says, "Orange is for the body, white is for the face, but blue is for the soul."
Orangudan does not approve of Child Endoragement. Only adults may Orange.
In a Vegas hotel room later that night, Kim will watch Spectravision. Wacky hijinks will most certainly ensue.
Breaking: New Jersey Bleeth Arrested for Child Endorangement
Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy
New Jersey: Where Bleeth Go to Burn.
