It's a new year at HCwDB!
Pic-based blogs may seem as antiquated as Compuserve these days. But my sorry outdated ass is still here.
And while new projects may beckon my time while babycare saps my will to live, I will always find time to spittle on clowns like Bro Dave and Bro Dan here.
Especially when they hit on Alpha Epislon Pi sisters Kelly and Pragheeta.
Ubiquitous Red Cup is still here as well. And URC views these couplings as the rancid oatmeal in the breakfast buffet of life.
Manuel The Crotchmasta Celebrates a New Week with Doublepear!
For Manuel The Crotchmasta, every day is Sunday.
Except Tuesday.
That’s when he pimps out his monkey to a local organ grinder for peanuts.
And if you caught the three metaphors for whore coitus that I used in the previous sentence, you get a car!
Olympic Pearsledding
If butts were breasts, this would be known as “boobsledding”.
Canadian Eurobag Got Game
Ruh roh. Looks like douchewanks tossing fake “game” are haunting the streets again.
Why?
To sell you crap, of course. From the YouTube description:
———–
Willy Beck of Big Willie Style (http://bigwilliestyle.ca) shows his infield daygame pickup how to kiss women as well as a instant daygame pull.
For dating advice & tips and infield videos as to how to meet, attract, and get better with women, visit Big Willie Style (http://bigwilliestyle.com).
————
I had a daygame pull once. It took two weeks before I could sucessfuly crochet again.
Friday Thoughts and Links
Like the Greater Kudu that run wild uponst the grassy knolls of the Serengeti, poorly placed tattoos travel in pairs.
Because you never know when the watering hole will become contested.
And tribal headlocking will commence between the alpha males of each pack. To assert dominance.
And lay claim to the land. And the women.
Folkloric and tribal traditions of our most primal historical impulses remain embedded on the skins of the stupid and the ignorant.
I have no idea what I’m saying. I blame the BC1.
Here’s yer links:
Your HCwDB Please Click On This Link and Then Buy Some Shit on Amazon Link of the Week: “The Yanks always wore neckties that leapt out in front of their shirts, as if to announce the awkwardness to follow.”
Fan of beer? Enjoy it served out of a dead squirrel.
What people never understood was that David Lee Roth was far more vaudeville than rock star.
Boy this Robin Thicke guy sure is an amazing singer.
How to contemporary dance. I think “Bich” likes me. “Contemporary Eric” probably does, too.
The Coney Island Polar Bears are getting hotter. Didn’t it used to just be a bunch of fat, hairy dudes?
Forget orgasms. The new thing? Coregasms.
‘Nuff of that. Here’s ya go:
That lineup of cream puffs is most definitely not glute-n free.
Friday Haiku
So proud of her catch…
Trish, you do not understand
What that mustache means.
Groucho Marx just called
From beyond the grave. He wants
His mustache back. Son
– DoucheyWallnuts
Caterpillar ‘stache
Has one million tiny legs
Marie has two boobs
– Vinegar and Water
Wow, Geraldo’s son
Sure can pull the hotts. Too bad
he prefers the boyz.
– The Dude
He charges a buck
for “mustache rides.” She charges
three hundred per hour
– Magnum Douche P. I.
The age old question.
“Is that your face or are you
Snorting a Sharpie.”
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Jill recoils from Juan
his New Years Dirty Sanchez
may last forever
– creature
Rayon Steve Says "I Got This!"
Revealing a healthy amount of artificially enhanced cleavite and Mayan Eye of Coitus, yet still somehow innocently PG-13, Coquette Claire is confounding. The perfect blend of innocence, frankencense, mur, and paid-to-do-something-you’re-not-sure-of-so-be-careful intoxication.
But, as Rayon Steve told the bros with the Bud Light Limes back at his booth, he got this.
No problem.
An overpriced Long Island Iced Tea is all the courage Rayon Steve needs.
Well, that and the fact his Ikea catalog just came in the mail this morning. And there were, like, awesome coupons on a new kitchen table. Rayon Steve don’t need a lot in life to make him happy.
Herpster Frank is Not Really a Hustler
It is, how the kids say, ironical.
Librarian Patricia is stern in her warnings to me not to extend my allotted time at the microfiche machine. I apologize, but her disciplinarian stance requires me to shine her boots using ony a nearby dishrag and a gallon of egg whites. I apologize profusely. But Patricia is not moved. And so I whimper softly in the 600.00-600.75 section. Which covers technology.
Sleazy Chet Fondles Monique's Tatas
Something I’ve noticed over the years of douche mock. Canted camera angles only heighten the stench of hottie/douchey wrongness.
An ethereal smell of gouda spittle is brought about by the mise-en-scene simply through the display of early German Expressionist camera framing.
Like Fritz Lang directing the Jersey Shore.
Stench is increased through the collision of aesthetics and thematics working at cross purposes.
I have no idea what I’m saying. I will now flagellate myself with a well read copy of Beowulf.
Happy 2014!!
Happy New Year!!
May all of your wildest dreams come true in 2014.
And may the douchenozzles macking on the hotts continue to be shunned and mocked by an evolving society that can and must know better.
