Dr. Magnifico Tags The Unholy Shroud of Ballsack
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Hi DB1
A most frightful sight at Balmoral Beach, Sydney, Australia.
– Dr M
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Yes. Yes it is.
Meatwadius backtatts for the steroidal shrimp on the proverbial cultural barbie.
Take that, Faulkner.
The New York Subway Signs Experiment
WAtching videos of NYC giggle hotts with too much time on their hands makes me miss New York all the more.
Gave up my East Village apartment over a year ago now.
Many of my early HCwDB posts were written from the land of egg cremes and subway pee stank.
NYC holds my heart and my youth together like an entwined ball of string. Forever in the past.
But every day there’s at least one moment where I want to leave this sun-baked city of silliness and return.
Your Saturday Mandouchian Candidate
Uberhott asian chick. Creepy Asian androgyne.
Together, they make pie.
Anglo Pete is having none of it.
Why run this on a Saturday?
Well, back in the day we used to feature comments of the week all up in this shiznit.
But that entailed me going through all the comments and finding the best ones. Which took, like, effort. And Adonai knows what a lazy mofo my sorry ass is.
And besides, now I gotta change diapers and give HC1 her due attentions, and so that work just ain’t getting done.
Instead, here’s a pic that is so confusing in its conflation of gender, ethnicity, and douchey/hottie cohabit that a lesser writer might describe it as all sorts of wong.
One ticket please.
Friday Thoughts and Links
Chief BallsInFace says “Happy Halloween!!”
Kelly says “Tee hee, take that, Stepfather!”
Don’t ask. Long back story.
Holy crap, Los Angeles takes Halloween seriously. It’s just like the other 364 days a year. Except instead of desperate fading actor-hyphenates and screenwriter/barristas pitching projects with animated hand gestures and misspelled treatments, they do so visually via elaborate costume/performance.
And everyone (pretends to) have fun!
Yeeahh. Suck it, Halloween Los Angeles.
I don’t recall my parents going to elaborate costumic lengths when I was busting out my bet Han Solo in the early 1980s.
But that was then and this is now.
And a kids holiday has turned into a social media showpiece. I’m sure I’d be able to tie this semi-rant to my new hated enemy Chris Hardwick, but I don’t dare look at his fifteen social media outlets for fear of rage boil.
Hashtag: NerdasCareerMove.
Grumble grumble.
I blame my bad mood and lack of sleep on the two hundred candy corns I ate last night. Also on the baby, who won’t shut its pie hole. And also alpaca porn, courtesy of Douche Wayne’s trip to the circus.
Here’s yer links:
Your HCwDB buy some shit on Amazon to support the site link of the week: Now I get it
People often ask me how hot chicks can become douchebags without douchal signifiers: Here’s your answer.
Is this herpster? Or is it dancer?
And now! The new sitcom from the creative mind behind Family Guy and Ted! I give you…. Dickwads!. They’re both dickwads. But their parents are dickwads, too!! Buhahahaha!!
Future guest star on Dickwads?: Dick Armey.
Long time HCwDB douchenozzle Riff Raff makes the Rolling Stone.
In Western Australia, Aussiebags with Hummers land in jail. We have much to learn from the land of Oz.
My favorite alt band of the late 1980s? Love and horses.
I was a firm supporter of Obamacare until this ad ab campaign launched.
Breaking news: Children stank. More on this critical story.
To raise awareness for testicular cancer, Brazil created a mascot. Meet Mr. Balls. The greatest anything in the history of everything.
Okay, nuff of Mr. Balls. Here’s your pear:
Not enough? Ok:
You’re velcome.
Friday Haiku
Sun dappled wasteland,
Like Fiona Apple dream,
Plus scrote hair reveal.
Happy Halloween!!
Boo!!
I refer, of course, to
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An atrocity wrapped in a riddle, surrounded by a toxic coating of grease, slime, and inflated skin cells.
Your humb narrs is drunk on rice mead and my daughter is a strawberry.
Happy Halloween!!
Pop Quiz: Cardboard Cutouts or Not Cardboard Cutouts
Okay kids, time to play the game that’s sweeping the nation (and soon to be a reality show on Fox):
Cardboard Cutouts? Or Not Cardboard Cutouts?
Answer now!
Bonus points for finding The Nipple of Shame
12 Years a Douchebag
Sometimes we as a society need to confront the ugly truth about America’s douchey past.
By facing the horrible realities of our buried legacy of country music, patriotic leg warmers, and kitten shirts.
Mr. Broboto Fondles Stephanie
Remember kids, fire extinguishers are only for tall people.
