Trent's Chinatown Birthday Bash Will End in Frustration
For little does Trent know, but Myen Shii is Paid-to-Pose, Beijing Style.
And if you don’t know what this is, just be grateful you still have two kidneys.
I have no idea what that means. Some of my best friends are Asian American. Do not judge me. I don’t come to your place of business and tell you to stop trading stocks.
Hottie Suckle Lauren is Lost
And the Baby Tebus burps on a bowling ball filled with feral cats.
For the Bleething has overtaken and no hope remains of savior.
Only a rapid descent into middle age, suburbia, infidelity and tinnitus.
Hottie Suckle Lauren and Genericus Ted
It just gets worse for our wayward wandering bottle blonde as she wanders, lost, in the forest of multitudinous douche.
Hottie Suckle Lauren Goes Gangsta With Suburban Poseur Fred
Rare is it that we find the suckle hott turn so bleethy in the presence of such a wide range of douchebaggery.
For those of us who mourn the 21st century hott’s wrong choices, Hottie Suckle Lauren is our Church of the Sub Genius. Our holy plankton.
Hottie Suckle Lauren Tuesday!!
Okay fellow ‘bag hunters and huntresses, are you excited? That’s right!! Today is Hottie Suckle Lauren Tuesday!!
What’s Hottie Suckle Lauren Tuesday?
Well yesterday (Monday) we featured Hottie Suckle Lauren and her tasty smile rubbing up against Herpster Juan Assholio.
As if that atrocity wasn’t enough, I got a few more pics of Hottie Suckle Lauren in various states of douche crisis.
Like this one.
With rich cockomasmoker Douchebag Kellyn.
And society weeps.
All day.
For today is Hottie Suckle Lauren Tuesday. Which is not really a good thing, if you take a gander at Douchebag Kellyn and realize, paid-to-pose or not, this happened.
Herpster Juan Assholio Macks on Hottie Suckle Lauren
There are many flavors of herpster rotting the cultural discourse in these lo herspterian times.
Having once lived in Los Feliz, directly adjacent to Herpster Mecca, I have seen more than a lifetime’s worth of handlebar mustaches, artisanal cheese shops, and jorts.
My current status as a homeowner in the low lying hills of Sherman Oaks has cast me to the pit of suburban Valley sun dappled spiritual malaise.
But that is a story for another time.
For now we mock Herspter Juan Assholio.
For all the rank putritude of his everything.
And we honor the sweet smile perfection of Hottie Suckle Lauren. For she is the cheerleader dreams that resides within us all, man, woman, fowl and beast alike.
Mosi Likes to Decorate His Room in a Pan-Asian Motif
Mosi’s parents wish Mosi would give up the DJ dream and get an actual job.
But for now, Mosi will subside on clove cigarettes, hookah lounges, and a sparkling fantasy of Yeezus inspiration.
Cutie Giggle Jenna likes water for elephants for chocolate for pray love. Cutie Giggle Jenna swears she won’t get pregnant by 21, like her sister, Not As Cute And Not Really That Giggly Eugenia. Only time will tell.
Donkey Douche is Like a Fine Vinegar
And like any finely cheesed vinegar, The ‘Douche must not be oversampled or it will run sour.
And yet, I cannot resist.
One Donkey Douche to start off the week, and then I will turn my attentions back to mocking mortal and human HCwDB combos.
But stare we must.
Like at a violent car crash on the life superhighway.
Inside the head of a Female Getting Hit on by a Douche
Mildly amusing animated short from Cracked.
But I’m at least pleased to see Ubiquitous Red Cup made it.
