Somewhere in a Bar in Tallahasee, Florida…
… Kevin enacts a Bukowski fever dream without the fever, the dream, the wit, the creativity, the introspection, the literary tradition, nor any form of poetic decantur.
But, as a substitute for cruelty tinged introspection that resonances of the spiritual crisis of life, hey, Jager shots.
Pinky Tuscadero Jumps the Shart
I’ll take “Alcoholic Dysfunctional Hot Chicks Named Ashley and Kelly Who Hang Out With a Toolshed Named Manny” for $800, Alex.
And yes, those curves make me want to sing harmonic resonance from the top of a subaltern hillside wearing only a burka and several prominent crystal scrotal beads that were bedazzled to said scrotum by an Indian merchant named Kapur.
"Are you The Gatekeeper?"
I don’t know about you, but this HCwDB version of the Ghostbusters scene where Zuul meets Vinz Clortho is all sorts of wrong.
I hereby object to remaking any more classic 1980s movies in a contemporary milieu.
Unless that film is “Just One of the Guys” and features CGI young Sherilyn Fenn.
Leisure Suit Lenny Gets Sexy with April
Leisure Suit Lenny’s stylin’ leisure suit gives special resonance to his ironically delivered “can you see yourself in my pants?” joke. April giggles politely. Because she has student loans to pay off.
Tense Guy Who Points At or Near Boobs Guy
I believe it was Salvador Dali who once said, “Tense Guy Who Points at Or Near Boobs Guy… The Fish!”
Or maybe that was this guy.
I keep forgetting. Was it when the Modernists and the Surrealists met the DaDaists by leaving an Impression, and then they all went over to the Abstract Expressionists and kicked them in the the Pop Art Postmodern balls? Or did they all just take a dump on pretentious douchey posts that occur when the DB1 had weird dreams about alpacas and had too many HoHos and can’t think of anything to write?
The fish.
Retro Hollywood: Iron Boy and a Pony
Last night’s Bro Hitler pic made my Jewy ass feel guilty about pulling a Godwin. So I took it down. Because Dayenu.
So instead, here’s a pic from the late 80s or early 90s of Iron Boy with a Pony.
Kelly and Fratbros Bob and Joe Are Vaguely Familiar with Mexico
Because, once when they were visiting California to go to Disney Land, they ate at a Poquito Mas.
Kelly ordered the fish tacos.
Fratbro Bob then made a joke that linked the concept of the fish taco to Kelly’s nethers.
Kelly giggled politely.
Fratbro Joe, who on one of my more generous days might earn a nottadouche simply said, “Word.”
Word indeed, Fratbro Joe.
Word indeed.
How Bunnies Copulate
First, the male bunny pays an exhorbitant amount on his daddy’s credit card for “bottle service.”
Then the female bunny talks for a solid two hours about her future career in fashion design.
Then genitals are briefly, and safely, grinded through a protective cloth barrier to a track by Rihanna.
"Rodriguez Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Boobs"
These porn parodies aren’t even trying anymore.
Caption This Pic
Beatrix Potter never did learn what cast her to the fifth circle of hell upon passing away quietly in her sleep in 1943. But she did quickly learn eleven new uses for carrots. Nine of which involved orifices.
