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Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Mongor and Pepe Hit on Carmella in a Frame Factory
When Mongor and his sidekick, Pepe, bust out the matching t-shirts and gold chains, Carmells knows what time it is.
Time to Call a Cab time.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012Somewhere in a Human Zoo on Tralfamador…
The Tralfamadorians blink their eye and stare with a marked lack of comprehension .
Tuesday, December 4, 2012One Word Tuesday
Riff Raff Continues to Cash In
The Artist still known as Riff Raff continues to attempt douchebaggery as performance art.
Do not be fooled.
Self-reflexive and ironic douchebaggery is just douchebaggery under another paradigm.
Monday, December 3, 2012Bonro and The Ledge Struggle to Make Ends Meet in an Alternate Reality
Ever since the failure of the 1997 demo CD, “The Josephus Tree,” Bonro and The Ledge have pieced together rent money working at various Dublin nightclubs.
Irish Mary is not impressed.
And by alternate reality, I mean this reality.
Monday, December 3, 2012Benzino and Rich Girl Rachel's Girls are Getting Ready for the 2012 Douchie Awards
Benzino’s even dressing up in his finest douchewear.
Rich Girl Rachel’s Girls are plump and full of milkic anticipation.
Even these bros are excited.
The annual HCwDB awards show is almost on…
Monday, December 3, 2012HCwDB of the Month: Mutato the Bug-Eye Freak and Sister Christie
It wasn’t a full month, so no vote, but Mutato’s inflated douche-everything and the perfect shoulder suckle of Sister Christie are a worthy final entrant in our 2012 Douchie Awards, which start in a week.
Get ready.
Bring it.
And if ya wanna write one of the categories and give out an award, drop your humb narrs a line.
Sunday, December 2, 2012"Glamour Boys" Circa 1989
The great Living Colour were years (decades?) ahead of the HCwDB curve with this pop ditty of musical mock from back in the late 1980s.
Saturday, December 1, 2012Comment of the Week: Vin Douchal
V.D. breaks down the Asshole McAssholewitz pairing and wins the coveted HCwDB Comment of the Week:
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These two are great. An Inland Empire love story
Soon, Karyn, the Slots Area waitress at Fitzgeralds, will decide that her eggs ain’t getting any stronger, what with the meth use, bad nutrition and long list of questionable sex partners and realize that maybe she’s ready to snare a mate.
She’ll have her IUD secretly taken out and McAssholewitz becomes “The Choice”. She loves the feel of sitting behind him on his Yamaha 240 He’s got a job, well sorta, as he is the bar back at the big strip club. He takes home well over $30 a night in shared tips on top of his minimum wage salary and at least there’s a health insurance plan (although the $5000 yearly deductible seems like Mt Everest).
She realizes after six months that she should be pregnant by now so at the free clinic she signs up for an experimental fertility treatment touted as “Las Vegas’ Most Discreet Planned Parenthood Office”. BOOM!, the treatment works and twins are on the way
The happy day arrives as McAssholewitz, awful tattoos sprouting out around the delivery room scrub shirt, sees his two spawn for the first time, both girls to his dismay
They name them “Hashtag” and Retweet” . His dispair knows no bounds as the screaming is multiplied exponentialy with every smelly diaper, spit up incident and 4:00 A.M. feeding
He leaves her, moving back with his buddies in Rubidoux. Her four month old poo and wailing machines drive her to the point of exhaustion until finally she is forced to move back home with her dissapointed mother, a school cafeteria worker in the Jurupa School District. She weighs 84 pounds
The D.A. of Riverside County spends the next 17 years and 8 months chasing McAssholewitz for child support payments and suspends his drivers license every other month.
McAssholewitz, now a spent, talentless, terribly ugly, friendless, unemployable middle aged lump of his former self signs the back of his $223 welfare check then says “Screw it” and eats the barrel of a .45 in his 400 square foot basement apartment in Moreno Valley. The M.E. team jokes about ” a helluva wall splatter.
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