Hot Chicks With Douche Bags

7:01 am May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

So I go’s to this party, right? With my buddy Mary, right? Mary gives us a little of crotch reveal to get the boys going, right? I pop a flex, right and this little ugly monkey pops out of a fucking cake. And I’m all like, whoa, right?

7:07 am May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

The Martha Stewart paint specialist at Home Depot was so freaked out that Mary used Eastchester Poostain, in satin finish, as bronzer, she followed them home. Here little monkey….here monkey…….good monkey, Mary wants a blowjob.

7:11 am May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Mary and Peter may not be rich. And they sure ain’t smart. And they sure like the aesthetic and bovine growth hormone and sex-changes.. and shit. But good on them for having a full grown monkey baby that stands at birth.

7:22 am May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

As they entered the reception hall after their alleged recent wedding, the wedding planner greets the happy couple and takes in the splendour of their finiest attire. Go away little monkey! Get me a Wheatgrass and Whey while I suck the brides balls.

7:30 am May, 23 The Reverend Chad Kroeger said...

Cheetah the gym mascot points to these two and thinks, “Geezus, I’m just an ugly little paint selling baby monkey wedding planner but I’m smarter than these apes.”

7:41 am May, 23 DoucheyWallnuts said...

The Penis Transplant program tries to match up donors and donees to make sure they are compatible and that the donee can see what the cocc looks like it its natural state before the switcheroo takes place. The donor, on the right, is indicating how big its, soon to be former, schwantz is.

8:24 am May, 23 I R A Darth Aggie said...

Peter Pumpinghead passed out, but Mary Mammageddon didn’t care, because her friend Kris hammered her all night. Something Peter hasn’t done since 1999.

8:40 am May, 23 creature said...

PP has discovered that if he presses his pistacio sized testicles firmly enough between his palms, he can create a viscuos greenish-mauve paste that when smeared thinly across Matilda’s mug makes the muscley she-man nearly attractive enough for MM to mount from behind with a splintered billy club fashioned into a strap-on, providing racuous home theater for PP as he tries to recall the glory of raging piss-boners in his youth

8:45 am May, 23 jonezy said...

that looks like Don Rickles granddaughter there on the right, so DW probably has the scoop…

8:51 am May, 23 jonezy said...

they’re all actually huge Picasso fans, bringing art to life

9:16 am May, 23 Vin Douchal said...

These three are a Waylon Jennings song, “Lonesome , On’ry and Mean”

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BTW , this photo has appeared before. It’s time to move on from these fucking tools, Db1 and Sock, stop the insanity

9:46 am May, 23 Mr. Scrotato Head said...

Like all discriminating, dickish, mockers, I likes me a good shaved mons pubis reveal.

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This is not a good shaved mons pubis reveal.

9:50 am May, 23 Douchble Helix said...

Jesus, what the fuck was Picasso thinking?

10:25 am May, 23 creature said...

as if Peter & Mary were not narcissistic enough, they keep plow faced Marcia around to make them feel better about themselves

11:19 am May, 23 Unitdouche said...

SIX d-cups! How’d you miss that?! C’MON!

11:23 am May, 23 Jacques Doucheteau said...

Marcia gives a hardy thumbs up. And then points to where that thumb has been.

11:31 am May, 23 Dr. Bunsen HoneyDouche said...

This pic just goes to show you that you should never make a bar bet that involves back forties, mules, 3 cases of Bud lite, and synthol.

11:44 am May, 23 Shaft Junk said...

In honor of the forthcoming Mammorial Day weekend I give you the following story of our star crossed dressing lovers pictured above. Travel back with me to a small town in Idaho where a young Peter sits at his desk penning a letter to his penpal Pepe who lives in a tiny village in Mexicoiest part of Mexico. “Dear Pepe, I hope the chickens are well and your sister’s leg is healed up after the rabid dog attack. Things at school are still bad here. I got beat up today at lunch because I wouldn’t give Jeff my Charlie’s Angels lunch box. He called me a fag and then hit me with it. There was no way I was going to let him have it. Farrah is so beautiful on it. It’s really her best picture. One day, when I grow up and get the Hell out of this town I’m gonna find that pretty blonde woman with the golden hair and make her mine. That’ll show em. That will show them all. Anyway I better go, Mom needs help with supper. Your penpal, Peter.” Flashforward 10 years and we see a your Pepe preparing for his first back alley plastic surgery. “Make me look like Farrah Fawcett.” he tells the guy holding the drillbit and whiskey. And then there’s the part where Pepe now Mary makes the trek to Idaho to find Peter. Then there’s the part where Pepe doesn’t tell Peter he is Pepe until after they do it. And then theres a lot of crying and yelling and finally acceptance. This is them celebrating with Cheryl, Pepe’s sister and bath salt mixologist. More pics of these two please DarkSock.

6:31 pm May, 23 Morbo said...

The story is simple, really. Peter and Mary hooked up over their love of bodybuilding, plastic surgery and creatine. They work creating into every meal. If it’s ever an ingredient on “Chopped: Meat head weightlifters all-stars,” they’ll ace it.

Paula’s presence is the result of an awkward conversation, a badly misspelled Craigslist ad and a string of regrettable decisions — the last of which is my decision to click on the YouPorn tag “T-REX ARMED FREAK BONES TWO BUSTY BEAUTIES”

7:19 am May, 24 Wheezer said...

As Vin noted yesterday, this is a repeat photo, but I’m wondering…..

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…..why Is Mary Mams doing the Hello Kitty Hott move of slightly tugging on her bikini strap? I don’t know that I’m eager to see what pops out should she pull down too far.

1:01 pm May, 24 Stephanie said...

Smile for the cameras,you sad ass monkeys.