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Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Joey Uvula Shows Ashley His BlingTatt
When bling + tatt becomes blingtatt, then and only then, The Golem will rise.
And by Golem, I mean Joey Uvula’s happy pants.
And by rise, I mean shift disquietly in his gym shorts from left to right.
Tuesday, January 7, 2014Captain Rehab Says, "It's Cold Out Where You Are, But Not in Vegas!"
For those of you suffering in ridic cold today, let it bring you solace to know that Captain Rehab is scoring at 60% among the greater Las Vegas skankhott population.
Yeah, I guess that didn’t really bring you any solace.
Okay, how about some StreetPear?
See now? It’s not so bad.
Monday, January 6, 2014Mack the Nozzle Refuses to Accept it's 2014
Somewhere in this hottie/douchey/tranny car crash of Paulwalkerian proportions (too soon?), HCwDB (non)legend Mack the Nozzle refuses to let go of 2008.
Refuses, he tells ya.
Eye tatts and stupidface will not go gently into that good after party.
Monday, January 6, 2014It's a new year at HCwDB!
Pic-based blogs may seem as antiquated as Compuserve these days. But my sorry outdated ass is still here.
And while new projects may beckon my time while babycare saps my will to live, I will always find time to spittle on clowns like Bro Dave and Bro Dan here.
Especially when they hit on Alpha Epislon Pi sisters Kelly and Pragheeta.
Ubiquitous Red Cup is still here as well. And URC views these couplings as the rancid oatmeal in the breakfast buffet of life.
Monday, January 6, 2014Manuel The Crotchmasta Celebrates a New Week with Doublepear!
For Manuel The Crotchmasta, every day is Sunday.
Except Tuesday.
That’s when he pimps out his monkey to a local organ grinder for peanuts.
And if you caught the three metaphors for whore coitus that I used in the previous sentence, you get a car!
Sunday, January 5, 2014Olympic Pearsledding
If butts were breasts, this would be known as “boobsledding”.
Saturday, January 4, 2014Canadian Eurobag Got Game
Ruh roh. Looks like douchewanks tossing fake “game” are haunting the streets again.
Why?
To sell you crap, of course. From the YouTube description:
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Willy Beck of Big Willie Style (http://bigwilliestyle.ca) shows his infield daygame pickup how to kiss women as well as a instant daygame pull.
For dating advice & tips and infield videos as to how to meet, attract, and get better with women, visit Big Willie Style (http://bigwilliestyle.com).
————
I had a daygame pull once. It took two weeks before I could sucessfuly crochet again.
Friday, January 3, 2014Friday Thoughts and Links
Like the Greater Kudu that run wild uponst the grassy knolls of the Serengeti, poorly placed tattoos travel in pairs.
Because you never know when the watering hole will become contested.
And tribal headlocking will commence between the alpha males of each pack. To assert dominance.
And lay claim to the land. And the women.
Folkloric and tribal traditions of our most primal historical impulses remain embedded on the skins of the stupid and the ignorant.
I have no idea what I’m saying. I blame the BC1.
Here’s yer links:
Your HCwDB Please Click On This Link and Then Buy Some Shit on Amazon Link of the Week: “The Yanks always wore neckties that leapt out in front of their shirts, as if to announce the awkwardness to follow.”
Fan of beer? Enjoy it served out of a dead squirrel.
What people never understood was that David Lee Roth was far more vaudeville than rock star.
Boy this Robin Thicke guy sure is an amazing singer.
How to contemporary dance. I think “Bich” likes me. “Contemporary Eric” probably does, too.
The Coney Island Polar Bears are getting hotter. Didn’t it used to just be a bunch of fat, hairy dudes?
Forget orgasms. The new thing? Coregasms.
‘Nuff of that. Here’s ya go:
That lineup of cream puffs is most definitely not glute-n free.
Friday, January 3, 2014Friday Haiku
So proud of her catch…
Trish, you do not understand
What that mustache means.
Groucho Marx just called
From beyond the grave. He wants
His mustache back. Son
– DoucheyWallnuts
Caterpillar ‘stache
Has one million tiny legs
Marie has two boobs
– Vinegar and Water
Wow, Geraldo’s son
Sure can pull the hotts. Too bad
he prefers the boyz.
– The Dude
He charges a buck
for “mustache rides.” She charges
three hundred per hour
– Magnum Douche P. I.
The age old question.
“Is that your face or are you
Snorting a Sharpie.”
– The Reverend Chad Kroeger
Jill recoils from Juan
his New Years Dirty Sanchez
may last forever
– creature
Thursday, January 2, 2014Rayon Steve Says "I Got This!"
Revealing a healthy amount of artificially enhanced cleavite and Mayan Eye of Coitus, yet still somehow innocently PG-13, Coquette Claire is confounding. The perfect blend of innocence, frankencense, mur, and paid-to-do-something-you’re-not-sure-of-so-be-careful intoxication.
But, as Rayon Steve told the bros with the Bud Light Limes back at his booth, he got this.
No problem.
An overpriced Long Island Iced Tea is all the courage Rayon Steve needs.
Well, that and the fact his Ikea catalog just came in the mail this morning. And there were, like, awesome coupons on a new kitchen table. Rayon Steve don’t need a lot in life to make him happy.
