HCwDB

    Thursday, October 8, 2009

    Chicago Taggin'

    PIC DELETED

    —-
    DB1,

    Attached is a picture of a DOUCHE that was at the same bar an acquaintance of mine was throwing his birthday party. I skipped out because I hate the venue (and this only reinforces everything I thought about the clientele), but luckily my friend’s girlfriend was able to snap this shot!

    — Ezekiel
    —-

    That reminds me. Did I remember to water and feed my sunstroke victim this morning? Yeah, I keep a sunstroke victim chained up in my basement. Doesn’t everybody?

    Okay, so the girls are kinda scary in this pic. But rarely do we get a first person tag of a douche this shiny and red. So I’m goin’ with it.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 8, 2009

    Chicago Taggin’

    PIC DELETED

    —-
    DB1,

    Attached is a picture of a DOUCHE that was at the same bar an acquaintance of mine was throwing his birthday party. I skipped out because I hate the venue (and this only reinforces everything I thought about the clientele), but luckily my friend’s girlfriend was able to snap this shot!

    — Ezekiel
    —-

    That reminds me. Did I remember to water and feed my sunstroke victim this morning? Yeah, I keep a sunstroke victim chained up in my basement. Doesn’t everybody?

    Okay, so the girls are kinda scary in this pic. But rarely do we get a first person tag of a douche this shiny and red. So I’m goin’ with it.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 8, 2009

    See Tony Mack

    Mack, Tony! Mack!

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 8, 2009

    Breaking: Fall Out 'Bag Still Married


    In HCwDB “Celebrity” News, the artist formerly known as Ashlee Simpson’s Nose and Sex Wax Boy are still married.

    Because I sort-of have heard of these wastes of human form. And celeb sites are way popular. So I thought I’d throw down some mad pop culture game by making a reference to them.

    Aw screw it. Who really gives a flying rhesus monkey poo-ball about these shmuckwads? Does anyone? Back to the real world pics, which are far more fun, interesting, engaging and worth critiquing.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 8, 2009

    Breaking: Fall Out ‘Bag Still Married


    In HCwDB “Celebrity” News, the artist formerly known as Ashlee Simpson’s Nose and Sex Wax Boy are still married.

    Because I sort-of have heard of these wastes of human form. And celeb sites are way popular. So I thought I’d throw down some mad pop culture game by making a reference to them.

    Aw screw it. Who really gives a flying rhesus monkey poo-ball about these shmuckwads? Does anyone? Back to the real world pics, which are far more fun, interesting, engaging and worth critiquing.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 8, 2009

    The Eurolick


    Once, when I was hiking through the Dzhugdzhur mountains after a bout with typhus in Hindu Kush forced my Sherpa to join the Sandanistas for want of coin, I happened upon a wizened old philosopher.

    It was by accident, really. My morning harvesting juniper beetles for the silk dye trade in Ghana had gone poorly, and I’d stopped under a spreading chestnut tree for rest. And there he was.

    “Beware the Eurolick!” he whispered to me, while softly knawing on fried plantains and sipping from a ubiquitous red cup of fermented snozzberry.

    “What’s a Eurolick?” I responded.

    But before he could finish, a hunting team of Samburu happened upon our yurt. We fled by way of Guadalcanal, until a six month turn mashing yeast on a freighter ship marked for Uttar Pradesh earned me enough to return to the Subcontinent to resume my job as a Turkish pimp for the Belgian mafia.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 8, 2009

    Peter Griffin Runs with the Goose


    Man, Lois is gonna be pissed. Peter Griffin’s playing around with the witch from Bewitched?

    And what’s the deal with the Bloodhound Gang gathering in the background? Are there crimes to be solved?

    Yup, it’s random TV reference Thursday. And Rare-Ass Clear Cup trumps Ubiquitous Red Cup this time around.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Thursday, October 8, 2009

    HCwDB After Dark: Canada Edition


    Come on in, friends!! HCwDB is open after hours tonight.

    The doucheclowns are old, blinged up, and know what time it is.

    The ladies are drunk and slightly disorientated.

    We’re in Canada, people. Grab a beer, eh? And lets pretend it’s not simply America with less guns up here.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, October 7, 2009

    The Choad Hardy 'Bag

    PIC DELETED

    Real ‘bags don’t buy Hardy knockoffs at Nordstrom.

    Real ‘bags tattoo the Hardy Taint right on their chests.

    So that people at the Shady Palms Retirement Home in Coconut Grove in 2063 will wheelchair by him and think, “douche.”

    Toothy hott brings the bleethy pirate niceties enough to fire up my loins and set my crotch afire with the combustion heat effect of a bad Uri Geller spoon bend.

    Yeah, I just made a Uri Geller reference. Few will get it. But I don’t care.

    Because Uri Geller sucks, and The Amazing Randi pwned his fraud ass.

    # posted by douchebag1
    Wednesday, October 7, 2009

    The Choad Hardy ‘Bag

    PIC DELETED

    Real ‘bags don’t buy Hardy knockoffs at Nordstrom.

    Real ‘bags tattoo the Hardy Taint right on their chests.

    So that people at the Shady Palms Retirement Home in Coconut Grove in 2063 will wheelchair by him and think, “douche.”

    Toothy hott brings the bleethy pirate niceties enough to fire up my loins and set my crotch afire with the combustion heat effect of a bad Uri Geller spoon bend.

    Yeah, I just made a Uri Geller reference. Few will get it. But I don’t care.

    Because Uri Geller sucks, and The Amazing Randi pwned his fraud ass.

    # posted by douchebag1
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