HCwDB
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Tuesday, March 24, 2009
“Ass Pear and Douche Head”
One of the lesser known tales from The Brothers Grimm, “Ass Pear and Douche Head” was first discovered in a book of children’s folklore written in Dusseldorf in 1846.
Here is an excerpt:
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“Nein!! Do not leave this house!!” said Ass Pear’s Grandmother, sternly. “For if there is no order, the Nation-State will crumble into chaos!!”
But Ass Pear did not heed the warning of her stern, but sensibly cruel and forceful, Grandmother.
Instead, Ass Pear snuck off to the Wunder Club, where she met up with her best friend, Cheek Kiss.
“I hope our dereliction does not bring disorder to the ruling authority!” exclaimed Cheek Kiss nervously.
“Neither do I!” said Ass Pear. “For reckless youth leads to disorder. And disorder leads to impurities of the blood!”
But before Cheek Kiss could respond, along came Douche Head.
“Hallo!” said Douche Head, with bristling chin pubes.
“Ja?” asked Ass Pear.
“How may we help you?” Asked Cheek Kiss.
“My mandana is tight and powerful! It seduces you with its impure power!” said Douche Head proudly.
Since Ass Pear and Cheek Kiss had not followed the stern yet highly organized schedule imposed upon them by their Grandmother, they ran home quickly.
“I warned you.” said Ass Pear’s Grandmother, who had turned them both in to the authorities.
Both Ass Pear and Cheek Kiss were then tortured for six months, for the good of the Nation-state. But they had learned their lesson. And their blood would remain pure for the benefit of Deutschland.
The End.
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Is this Anya?
Is the lovely flotation device enhanced hott in the middle, the legendary Hall of Hott member, The Smearkat’s Anya?
All boobs point to yes.
And is Chinpube McNapkin on the right “the shit”? Or a turd log?
And I see you too, tiny Swedish Pixie Stick. I would humbly place my head betwixt your breasts and make creepy, gutteral cries like the mutant baby in Eraserhead.
Tuesday, March 24, 200922/7
It’s nice to see noted character actor Mark Margolis can find time in between gigs to douche it up with some Vegas ladies.
No comment on the large lady on the left, but Cindee on the right is wholesome cuteness, and has the classiest tattoo since this one.
Monday, March 23, 2009Gwyneth Paltrow and Designer Oompa
Gwyneth Paltrow, still lookin’ relatively good. Even after marrying into the most hacktacular echo band this side of The Led Zeppelin tribute band, Stairway to Zoso, playing live through Sunday at the “Lazer Floyd” show at the Hayden Planetarium.
Coldplay is like an alien slug from Heinlein’s The Puppet Masters. It slithers onto a real body and converts it into an empty shell of meaningless void. They are the group equivalent of John Mayer. Well packaged “authenticity” as rubric of achieving Suckle Thigh and cash from the tasteless masses, too blitzkreiged by iPod campaigns to smell out the difference between talented artists who produce art, and talented artists who repurpose warmed-over reductive U2 riffs.
But I digress. Back to this pic.
Rudolph Valentino looks very much alive. And he looks up ladies dresses, as they sadly pass him by.
Monday, March 23, 2009Ask DB1: Accidental "Ten Degree Hat Tilt"
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Dear DB1-
This past weekend I was at a local watering hole enjoying some friendly company and looking at all the boobies.
At one point in the night I adjusted my hat. My friend across the table recoiled from me in absolute horror. He started pointing at me like I was a 17th century plague victim while screaming “Ten Degree Hat Tilt!!”
Without realizing it, I had tilted my hat. While I’m not convinced it was a full ten degrees, the tilting of the hat ruined the remainder of my evening and my quest for the hott.
My question is this; Does a hat tilt automatically signify douche, even when it’s applied unconsciously for comfort?
I’ve noticed that wearing my hat slightly tilted and propped up is very comfortable. Please help. I don’t want to wake up one day and find that I’m reaching for the Axe body spray.
-grady bagmore
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Accidental Hat Tilt (AHT) is generally forgiven unless allowed to persist for more than twenty-three minutes straight, at which point the event horizon is crossed, and suspicions will set in that AHT is actually TDHT in irono-disguise.
At this point, full mocking of the HT is allowable, and should be encouraged, by any nearby friends, neighbors, hotts and small woodland creatures named Tigger.
Monday, March 23, 2009Ask DB1: Accidental “Ten Degree Hat Tilt”
—-
Dear DB1-
This past weekend I was at a local watering hole enjoying some friendly company and looking at all the boobies.
At one point in the night I adjusted my hat. My friend across the table recoiled from me in absolute horror. He started pointing at me like I was a 17th century plague victim while screaming “Ten Degree Hat Tilt!!”
Without realizing it, I had tilted my hat. While I’m not convinced it was a full ten degrees, the tilting of the hat ruined the remainder of my evening and my quest for the hott.
My question is this; Does a hat tilt automatically signify douche, even when it’s applied unconsciously for comfort?
I’ve noticed that wearing my hat slightly tilted and propped up is very comfortable. Please help. I don’t want to wake up one day and find that I’m reaching for the Axe body spray.
-grady bagmore
—-
Accidental Hat Tilt (AHT) is generally forgiven unless allowed to persist for more than twenty-three minutes straight, at which point the event horizon is crossed, and suspicions will set in that AHT is actually TDHT in irono-disguise.
At this point, full mocking of the HT is allowable, and should be encouraged, by any nearby friends, neighbors, hotts and small woodland creatures named Tigger.
Monday, March 23, 2009Slappy goes "Wooo!!"
At a state fair, somewhere off the interstate, Slappy leaned in with his Doc Brown sunglasses and hoped the Brunette Suckle Model and her best friend Cathy would notice his sexy tribal tatt.
They didn’t.
Monday, March 23, 2009Slappy goes “Wooo!!”
At a state fair, somewhere off the interstate, Slappy leaned in with his Doc Brown sunglasses and hoped the Brunette Suckle Model and her best friend Cathy would notice his sexy tribal tatt.
They didn’t.
Monday, March 23, 2009Kelly's Tard
Sexy Next Door Brunette, Kelly, knows who she’s voting for in the Weekly. And she brought her Tard along to show you.
Also, Dude, Tard is not the preferred nomenclature.
Retard, please.
Monday, March 23, 2009Kelly’s Tard
Sexy Next Door Brunette, Kelly, knows who she’s voting for in the Weekly. And she brought her Tard along to show you.
Also, Dude, Tard is not the preferred nomenclature.
Retard, please.
