HCwDB
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Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Hall of Hott: Nomination Day
Today is the day we induct our 2009 “Class of Ten” into our Hall of Hott.
Each of the following voters gets one, and only one, selection to submit to the HoH:
Ashfish, Mr. White, Douche Vader, bcs, creature, Troy Tempest, Crucial Head, d. baggins v2.0, Don’t wheeze the douche! and Buffy the Scrotebag Slayer.
If you are one of these ‘Bag Hunters or Huntresses who has performed heroically searching the archives for hott, make your selection in the comments thread by picking one, and only one, Boobie Hottie Suckle Thigh, to gain entry. If you already made your choice in a past thread, put it again here. Because I’se hung over.
And… boobies.
Start now.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009Frankie's Thumb
It’s one thing to have a muscled up uber-squat dressed only in four leaf clover boxers doing the Scrote Dance in your kitchen next to your zero degree freezer.
It’s another to have Pam, the tiny hott who works part time at Baja Fresh while finishing her mail-order nursing degree, getting in on the action after too many margaritas.
But to get your thumb in front of the camera when taking the pic?
Come on now, Frankie. At least use the middle finger.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009Frankie’s Thumb
It’s one thing to have a muscled up uber-squat dressed only in four leaf clover boxers doing the Scrote Dance in your kitchen next to your zero degree freezer.
It’s another to have Pam, the tiny hott who works part time at Baja Fresh while finishing her mail-order nursing degree, getting in on the action after too many margaritas.
But to get your thumb in front of the camera when taking the pic?
Come on now, Frankie. At least use the middle finger.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009HCwDB of the Week: The Ghoulbag
With double-belt and stupid-ass hand gestures, Ghoulbag triumphed over Clockwork Orange Al Jolson European Minstrel Show in a solid smackdown that proves that the “rage” factor always trumps the “laugh” factor when judging hott/scrote.
plinky: “Down Quasimodo, down!” Where’s my electric whip? I must beat back this ghoulish little hunchback once and for all!! Ghoulbaggery FTW.
TheShadowHost: ghoulbag definitely. just for the sneer.
doucheintheheartofTexas: as hard as it was, I have to go with Ghoulbag. There are so many things wrong with him, one just wishes his sperm donor had rubbed one out to the june 1982 issue of Swank.
Anonymous: My vote is for the Ghoulbag. Aside from the three cuties, he has somehow managed to infect the wall with his baggerism.
FredericChoadpin: Ghoulbag is a melting pot of all that is smelly and poop in pop culture today. Not to mention I would do things to his hotts that not even the Germans could forgive.
Well said, Hunters and Huntresses. But what of the Orange? The voters made their case for the burnt umber tan disaster:
boatbutter: I have to go with Clockwork Jolson. He has achieved a color that even Crayola can’t name.
stitchgroover: My vote is for A Clockwork Orange, and his Jamielynn Spears/Candice Cameron companion.
Dennis Bagger: Gotta chime in for CLOCKWORK. This is modern art worthy, the extreme orangeness played against the pasty white princess. The “mark of the bag” penetrates through all that thick orange, while pasty stares on, with a slight grin.
Choadie Jenner: Gun Swinger just makes me laugh. Ghoulbag looks like one of the special ed kids I work with and clockwork is just orange. People are not supposed to be orange. With that haircut, he reminds me of a #2 pencil. Number two reminds me of poo. Therefore Clockwork Poo FTW.
Orangest Orange at the 2009 Douchies? Perhaps. But with Clockwork coming in a tight second, and The Gun Swinger a distant third, dbBen explains why Ghoulbag deserves the win:
Ghoulbag. Up until now, those types of dudes might have thought they got a pass. They don’t. Because they’re douchebags.
Correct, sir. Just because they do not have hat tilt and collar pop does not mean they don’t register on the scrotsmograph. Props to all who voted, chalk up the win for Ghoulbag and Kimmy, Kelly and Katherine, and we’ll see them in the Monthly.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009Where's Waldouche?: Lickable, Munchable, Fondleable Hott-Legs Edition
I haven’t seen this many lickable, munchable, fondleable hott-legs since I took a wrong turn at Albequerque and ended up in a giant leg factory. A factory that made giant lickeable, munchable, fondleable hott-legs.
And I asked the proprietor of the leg factory, “To whom do you sell these giant lickable, munchable, fondleable hott-legs, exactly?”
And he said, “No one, really. That’s why I’m going out of business.”
And that explains how I ended up the proud owner of 436 giant lickeable, munchable, fondleable hott-legs.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009Where’s Waldouche?: Lickable, Munchable, Fondleable Hott-Legs Edition
I haven’t seen this many lickable, munchable, fondleable hott-legs since I took a wrong turn at Albequerque and ended up in a giant leg factory. A factory that made giant lickeable, munchable, fondleable hott-legs.
And I asked the proprietor of the leg factory, “To whom do you sell these giant lickable, munchable, fondleable hott-legs, exactly?”
And he said, “No one, really. That’s why I’m going out of business.”
And that explains how I ended up the proud owner of 436 giant lickeable, munchable, fondleable hott-legs.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009Suburban Gangstaz
Those last few pics were a little too much skank for one day, so lets cool the site down with some classic Suburban Gangstabags Thugz 4 Eva. And Darlene, the sweet girl in your sophomore Econ class who you have a thing for.
Mug in the Middle, with 87 degree hat tilt, gangsta neckerchif, and smug doucheface, needs to get run over by an old granny cracked up on cough syrup.
Doug from Long Island, on the right, has the chin strip and 82 degree hat tilt of clownish goof and needs a meatball to the face.
Only Brothabag Kevin, on the left, seems okay as he enjoys his tasty cola beverage.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009Wheatstalks and the Snow Capped Mountain
Hell, since it’s Bleethed Out Porn Chick Day on the site, might as well air out all the pics and let Wheatstalks get in on the action.
Caption This Pic
They could take his clothes.
They could shave his body hair.
But they would have to pry his mandana from his cold, greased-up forehead.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009From Across the Pond
Britbag Hunter writes in:
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Greetings.
Firstly I would like to thank you for hours of hilarity – Hot Chicks With Douchebags is becoming the stuff of legend at Bournemouth University, and there are shitloads of douchebags here so this will be the first pic of many! Hope you appreciate it!
Regards
Britbag Hunter
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Good work Britbag H. You should’ve screamed out, “Oi! Piss off, ya tosser!”
Becasue I love talking like Vivian from The Young Ones. Then getting drunk when I realize my country’s empire peaked over 200 years ago, and is now a crumbling shell of its former glory. With great comedy.
