HCwDB
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Saturday, May 12, 2007
Always Bet on Douche
We have nearly all the bases of classic Vegas Douche covered in this pic. The angular douche-chin. Excessive face bling. Tri-colored hair. Wristband from the latest Izaac Mizdouchey line, “Sweatin’ to the Pumpbags.”
No word on whether or not, like all practicing ‘bags, Vegas here is engaging in his yearly pilgrimage to Douche Mecca, the Hard Rock Casino in Las Vegas. But all signs point to his being a practicing scrote, so assume he’s on his yearly walkabout of spiritual enlightenment. And by spiritual, I mean spittle.
Hottie is too artificial and tatt’ed up to offer any chance of recovery from the Grieco Virus. She is a solid stage-4 Bleether, which is sad. As strictly corporeally speaking, I would suckle her armpits with the fervency of a hyperactive lemur.
Saturday, May 12, 2007Hulk Hands
Note to Fratbags of the world: If you need to use Hulk Hands as your excuse to cop a feel, you got no game.
None.
Just like pouty UNC Fratbag in the foreground seems to grasp. Have another Busch. And by Busch I mean beer.
Friday, May 11, 2007Friday Rhyme Royal
To sleep, perchance to douche,
Rank, angular frizzle hair,
She makes my happy place wooshe,
He slays my soul with a single stare,
Heaven’s angels no longer care.
I’d nuzzle her hills like Ponce De Leon,
Looking for a drink of freon.
Doucheyfreak
He’s a douchey freak!
Douchey freak!
A douchey freak ‘bag…
Thursday, May 10, 2007Echo and the 'Baggymen
In the 80s? Kinda cool. In 2007? Kinda Douchey.
Listen up emo ‘Bags, if you think dressing like Axl Rose’s douchey younger brothers is going to attact any hotties, let me tell you…. oh.
Crap.
Douchebags.
Thursday, May 10, 2007'Bag Burrito
Lessee here… dogtags, check. 10 Degree hat tilt, check. Um… Peace sign? Failed “shocker”? Mutant index finger? It’s the ‘bag hand gesture while holding the drink that confuses me. Is it ‘Bag Hand Gesture #48 or #106? Is that a douche-face or simply a scroad-face?
Hell with it. Lets just stamp him choad and call it a day.
Hottie may be artificially tanned, but just because I used a microwave to cook my burrito doesn’t make it any less delicious. I don’t know what that means. But I like burritos.
Thursday, May 10, 2007Bandaid Boy
I’ve never really gotten the whole “funny slogan t-shirt” thing. As far as I’m concerned it’s the douchebag club going equivalent of the Greenpeace dude with the 70s pinto and four hundred bumper stickers holding his back bumper on.
Word of advice, Bandaid Boy. If you need a clever t-shirt to seem like you have a personality, the actual subtext of the t-shirt is that you have no personality. You are douche.
Not to mention, you look like K.D. Lang.
Thursday, May 10, 2007Twin Bags
Double Bag it!!
uhm…
Doublemint Douche!!
er…
Two for the Scrote!!
hmm…
Some clever play on words that uses double meaning to sum up that I’m looking at twin douchebags!!
That last one was just a little too on point.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007State School Hottie #5
Courtesy of doc as well as the DB1’s mad photoshop skillz, here’s corn fed State School Hottie (SSH) looking absolutely perfect, with a little Yellowtail thrown in to balance the HCwDB equation.
God damn, Waldouche is one lucky-ass scrote.
Wednesday, May 9, 2007Where's Waldouche: State School Edition
Once again I wonder why I went to a city school instead of one of those mid-western state programs out in the middle of corn fields, and dirt roads with lone gas stations, and every other cliche my city raised ass can dream up.
In pic after pic, those schools are stocked with hotties like a clown car is stocked with clowns. At the circus. Stupid clowns. All I wanted was cotton candy.
As to Where’s Waldouche, he’s carefully hidden somewhere in this pic sporting one of the largest collar pops this side of a 17th century Rembrandt.
Can you find him?
