HCwDB
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Wednesday, December 30, 2009
‘Ranger Rick Resents Stackhouse
‘Ranger Rick, who first appeared after surviving a nuclear test blast because the goggles, they did nothing, is pissed.
Outsider-art primitive poet, Stackhouse, seems to be getting all the mock this week. ‘Ranger Rick does not want to Get Some. ‘Ranger Rick wants consideration for Monday’s HCwDB of the Week.
So here’s ‘Ranger Rick, mugging the zaftig but sexy Cindy with vacant simian stare and faux, but only a faded ‘range tan.
And here’s ‘Ranger Rick creepily leading Cindy to his pull-out sofa bed.
Is it enough to topple the ascending Stackhouse in Monday’s first Weekly of 2010? It’s not looking likely, ‘Ranger Rick. But we appreciate the douchal effort.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009A Sneery Load of Hipster Hal
Why do I get the increasingly disturbing feeling that 2010 will feature a renewed resurgence of hipster douchewankery?
Although perhaps unconventional hotness, Kate’s cute Reese Witherspoon pointy-chin and retro Jane Fonda in Klute hair thing is definitely bobbing my apples, however. And will carry us onward until dawn.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009Ass Pear with Douchebag
Because sometimes ya gotta take the Pear with the ‘Bag.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009Stackhouse the Poet Makes Smart People Think Their F*cking Retarded
Autistic savant free-verse artist, Stackhouse, provides us with another New Years poem. I’ve titled this one, “Some Good Old Fashion HIV Cream Pies Up Ur Ass”:
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I’m so f*cking smart, I make smart people think their f*cking retarded
Men do not cry, men do not pout, they jack u in the f*cking jaw
Dude says let me get a jack and coke and a water. My interpretation to that: can I get a smoking hot dime piece who makes me lose my mind and a condom to f*ck her with. Lol, f*cking cowards drinking water at the bar..what’s next homo’s, u bringing sand to the beach?
Somthing thats been bothering me….I dont understand why prostitution is illegal. Why should prostitution be illegal? Selling’s legal, f*cking’s legal, why isnt selling f*cking legal? Why should it be illegal to sell somthing thats perfectly legal to give away?….just dont get it
F*ck u sprint…f*ck with my 3g like that again and ill cut ur ass. What’s popin jump offs
Some dirt bag stabbed my boys brother in the head and in the chest..my man didnt even go down…next time any dumb f*cks out there try taking down a boss dude with muscles think twice…either end up gettin f*cked up, or sent to prison for some good old fashion HIV cream pies up ur ass…GET SOME
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EDIT: Reader K writes in to point out that Stackhouse’s first two sentences are actually quotes from the sequel to the Boondock Saints, All Saints Day. Way to stay hip with the indie street cred, Stacky. Get some.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009The Boobs of Perception
The douchebag awoke before dawn… he put his bling on… he took his chin pubes from the ancient gallery and then he… pointed at some boobs!
Father?
Yes, son.
I want to wear a mesh cap over an army mandana.
Mother?…. I want to… point at boobsssss!!!
These Doors coverbands just lack that original je ne sais quoi.
Monday, December 28, 2009The Fernhead
Who are we to judge true love in Camden, New Jersey?
Oh. That’s right. We’re us.
Nice ferns.
And crotch purse.
Monday, December 28, 2009Stackhouse the Poet Asks if it's "Gay 2 Want to F*ck Ur Self"
Last week’s legendary poet, Stackhouse, offers free verse over the firing of coach Bobby Bowden:
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Getting jacked, tan, and crushing beers in Bobby’s honor. Might even crush some pussy, he deserves it
im going to bed…but Bobby Bowden is more 2 me than Jesus is to u Christians, so I am glad he did work, and instead of being on a cross, I hope he is in Alabama where he want’s to be counting stacks…my f*cking man….I LOVE U BOBBY, it all ends, its what they remember us by that makes us immortal. GET SOME, u f*cking rock star
Is it gay 2 want to f*ck ur self? I swear, I’m working to hard 4 these jump offs. I have whiter teeth, a better tan and a lower bmi. Ur welcome ladies
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Stackhouse the Poet Asks if it’s “Gay 2 Want to F*ck Ur Self”
Last week’s legendary poet, Stackhouse, offers free verse over the firing of coach Bobby Bowden:
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Getting jacked, tan, and crushing beers in Bobby’s honor. Might even crush some pussy, he deserves it
im going to bed…but Bobby Bowden is more 2 me than Jesus is to u Christians, so I am glad he did work, and instead of being on a cross, I hope he is in Alabama where he want’s to be counting stacks…my f*cking man….I LOVE U BOBBY, it all ends, its what they remember us by that makes us immortal. GET SOME, u f*cking rock star
Is it gay 2 want to f*ck ur self? I swear, I’m working to hard 4 these jump offs. I have whiter teeth, a better tan and a lower bmi. Ur welcome ladies
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'Ranger Rick
Because nothing impresses the Euro Art Hotts in their Bauhaus inspired Soho loft quite like looking like you just witnessed a Nevada H-Bomb test dipped in hair gel.
Perhaps this may help, ‘Ranger Rick.
Monday, December 28, 2009‘Ranger Rick
Because nothing impresses the Euro Art Hotts in their Bauhaus inspired Soho loft quite like looking like you just witnessed a Nevada H-Bomb test dipped in hair gel.
Perhaps this may help, ‘Ranger Rick.
