Oldbag
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Thursday, February 23, 2012
Old Man Phineus Cackles Like a Hyena
Lots of wrong going on in this picture.
Daddy issues do not go well with breakfast.
Thursday, January 5, 2012Mr. Tibbs Shows His Nieces Adriana and Bonnie His Fine Corinthian Leather
Mr. Tibbs, like the 1975 Chrysler Cordoba, has seen a lot of miles over the past 36 years.
But until the tread falls off, Mr. Tibbs will keep on truckin’.
Thursday, November 3, 2011Creepy Granpa Jaundy
Sweet Patricia will make this night the main subject of her therapy sessions from July of 2014 to August of 2015.
Friday, October 14, 2011Doe Eyed Kelly and Old Moog Go for a Drive
Old Moog says “Groooooo.”
But only because he read it somewhere.
Monday, October 3, 2011Breaking ‘Bag To the Future
It’s like a prom photo from a Bizarro 1950s Enchantment Under the Sea dance in which 40 year old douchebags travel back in time to go to prom with their mother, and then end up cooking meth out of a camper before they die of cancer.
Wait.
I appear to be mashing up my pop culture references in some Brundelfy-esque clash of contradictory signifiers.
Lets start over. His chin dribble looks like melted ant raisins. Mama Mary was once very hott, and the echo remains.
Monday, September 26, 2011Granpa Olebag Got Game
Granpa Olebag approves of the HCwDB of the Week.
And he approves of his Grandaughta’s besties.
If you knowamean.
His layabout meth dealing great nephews, not so much.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011Old Man Liver
He jussssttttt keeps douchin’… he jusssstttt keeps douchin’…. alonggggg…
Monday, August 29, 2011Oldbag “Sir Ivan” Approves of the HCwDB of the Week
Oldbag “Sir Ivan,” seen yesterday in the noxious spray of white man entitlement that was our Sunday Movie of the Week, wanted to stop by with a couple of barely legals and say something:
Sir Ivan: “I’m the product of centuries of wars, plundering of the natural world, ethnic hierarchy and structural patriarchy that privileged Western white men to build vast fortunes, pass it on to their children, and then have their children’s children’s children lecture the rest of the world about hard work and libertarian by-your-bootstraps individualism. Now I will bang hot chicks I seduced with daddy’s money while I pretend it’s because of my merits as an individual.”
Wednesday, August 10, 2011White Guy Willie Laughs at Turning 42
Because when you’re as suave as White Guy Willie, alls you need are a cool buzz, some tasty metamuscil, and you’re fine.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011Dougie Clings to Fading Youth
Somewhere, in a condo apartment in Jersey City, Long Island, a ten year old girl wonders why her newly divorced daddy keeps going out at night dressed like a douche.
Don’t worry, little Tonya. Tuck yourself in and sleep tightly.
For Daddy won’t get far with that Faux. Your new mommy will not be one of the waitresses from the Dew Drop Inn.
