Orange
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Thursday, January 5, 2012
Mr. Tibbs Shows His Nieces Adriana and Bonnie His Fine Corinthian Leather
Mr. Tibbs, like the 1975 Chrysler Cordoba, has seen a lot of miles over the past 36 years.
But until the tread falls off, Mr. Tibbs will keep on truckin’.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011Tony Zebra Lives in Long Island and is Orange
Where chestshave and orangeness still impress the Persian Giggle Kellys of the world.
But the ecotone grows more fragile, Tony Z. And by ecotone, I mean the hidden poisons at work in bottles of Z-Tan.
Thursday, November 3, 2011Breaking: The Kleenexer Turns Into a Rotting Pumpkin
Toronto’s infamous source of Canadian Douche Plague, The Kleenex Mafia, has gone from pale white douchebag hitting on A-List Canadian Hotts to this aging, rotting orange corpse of pumpkin.
Woe Canada.
Monday, October 3, 2011Tommy Greasepitz Is Not Intimidated by the HCwDB of the Week
Until D.J. Froholio can inscribe Rushdie’s The Satanic Verses in Sanskrit on his pecs while pulling A-List Party Hots like the grown up Beezus and Ramona, he ain’t got nuthin’ on Tommy Greasepitz.
Monday, August 22, 2011Poppa Squatter and Tendon Tina Laugh at the HCwDB of the Week
Fast developing HCwDB legends and already flushed Closet of Poo inductees, Poppa Squatter and Tendon Tina, mock the real world reality of our HCwDB of the Week winning couple.
Not orange enough, Poppa Squatter?
Poppa Squatter: Nooooooooooo!!!!!
Why does your voice sound like a helium afflicted David Schwimmer, Poppa Squatter?
Poppa Squatter: Stopppppp insulting meeeeeeee!!!!
But you’re orange, douchey and orange.
Poppa Squatter: This is true. I blame my Nana.
Your grandmother?
Poppa Squatter: My banana.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011The Greasepitz Pose with the Amanda Sisters
Crazes Eyes Killah (aka Jared) knows one thing, and one thing only in this short, abbreviated, fist pumping life.
The bigger the pec, the more the vacuous and insipid free verse may be inscribed upon it. Like psuedo-spiritual wisdom peed on a kumquat.
Amanda #2 offers the raucus curves of greyhound race fondle spank poocher firefly slap summer harvest peach chomple chew. And for that, I burn frankincense and mur to honor the purity of her mamms.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011Clifford The Big Red ‘Bag
It’s sort of like Jonas Salk returning from a long vacation to discover there’s Polio on his toilet seat.
Mini Jean Shorts for the societal loss.
Thursday, May 26, 2011Caption This
“Tonya would be forever grateful to her cousins for the donations of their entire livers and kidneys. However, Vin and Joey were beginning to feel a little jaundiced about the whole affair.”
^Okay, Baghunters; I didn’t exactly set the bar too high. Bring it, guys…
Tuesday, May 10, 2011Asian Orange and America’s Imperialist Legacy
The effects of America’s use of Asian Orange in the 90s and 00s continues to be felt around the world.
It is what Frantz Fanon describes as “Post-colonialist reconstruction of the alterity of orangeness through the prism of the self.”
Sometimes our spray of global cultural spew can be seen in strange mutant hybrids, like we see here, in the form of Asbestos Flaygon.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011Mister Zebracrotch
Interesting footnote to history, Pablo Picasso was originally nicknamed “Mister Zebracrotch.” But Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.
The Orangenesss is strong in Granddaughter Karnie. She must resist the genetic impulse, or rampant boatbaggery will soon ensue.
