Two Word Tuesday
Hot Taco?**
**Y’know what? This pic is just too rank for one category; so feel free to also make this a “Caption This” fest as well.
-D.S.
"AYYYYY" GUY REMINDS ME…
“Ayyyy, ‘Sock…it’s after dark; shouldn’t youse be postin’ some ‘pear?”
You’re absolutely correct, Ayyyy Guy.
Duckhead Hits the Town
Donkey Douche’s little bro, DuckHead Douche, is celebrating the news that D.D., while being denied parole, at least holds the distinction of being worth 2 cartons of Marlboro Reds. That’s a family record!
So it’s time to grab Busty McChesty and L’il Cher and hit the club!
Ducky does miss getting into big bro’s stash of booger sugar though…
The Eye of Flatus
Alert Readers (and Reverend Chad): Three of these individuals are giving the camera The Eye Of Coitus; however one of them is giving The Eye of Barely Suppressed Flatus.
Can you guess which?
Peter PumpinHead and Mary Mammageddon Approve of the HCwDB of the Week
Peter and Mary think that Kisseus and Nanine are just swole. I mean, swell.
Sorry, that was a Freudian slut.
HCwDB of the Week: KISSEUS VOMITORIOUS and naughty nape Nanine
Well, it looks like this week is going to be DarkSock Week, which is kind of like Shark Week but with boat wrecks. In other words, The DB1 was unable to post bail. Llama pens are private property; the law is the law.
So as I rush to fill the vacuum that nature abhors, you stare at the HCwDB weekly selection and simper aloud: “But…DarkSock….why is Kisseus Vomitorious awarded the coveted DB o’ the Week? WHY?”
Well…look at him. Now stop simpering.
Now if you’ll excuse me I need to dig up some hottie/douchebag co-mingling photographs STAT or it’s gonna be a quiet week here.
What Was That Black Goo?
Okay, it’s a little passe at this point given the movie came out a month ago, but this is how movie reviews should be done.
If you aren’t familiar with Red Letter Media, do so be.
Comment of the Week: DoucheyWallnuts
Because sometimes ya just gotta reminisce, kid:
——————
So I decided to lay a little low this week with the Ike, JFK, mob thing. The other day Mrs Wallnuts got a package containing a cow’s tongue with a spike through it. She thought it was a box of Sfogliatelle (pronounced, “sfee-a-dell,” I says.) from Natale’s Bakery. It was a hell of a thing. It might be Big Angie Testaforte or Sonny “Coca-Cola” Villani playing a practical joke on me, but better safe than sorry. Na mean?
It reminds me of the time me, Sinatra and Petey Lawford lit a bag of dog crap on the stoop at Lew Wasserman’s mansion, rang the doorbell and ran. Wasserman was an ugly, humorless prick with a little schmeckle and Sinatra hated him. But he weilded a lot of power. Frank f@#ked Wasserman’s wife Edie in the entry foyer of their mansion during a big party one night, in front of everyone. Wasserman threatened to ruin Frank’s career, but couldn’t. Frank banged Edie again, for good measure, and wiped his schwantz on the drapes in their bedroom when he was done with her. I f@#ked her too. What the hell, I wasn’t in pictures so he couldn’t do nothin’ to me.
Anyways, Frank told Lew Petey did the lit dog crap gig. Wasserman ruined Lawford’s career and saw to it that he never did anything better than sit-coms and the f@#kin’ “Love Boat.” Madon, a real sin.
—————–
Friday Thoughts and Links
Remember kids, no matter how much trauma the world is experiences, no matter how many are suffering in poverty, homelessness, war, despair, and malaise, somewhere there is a dude with a shaved chest in pink pajamas partying with hotties.
Takin’ it easy for the rest of us sinners, I suppose.
And when Higgs meets Boson, maybe it all comes out even in the particle wash.
Here’s your links:
Your HCwDB DVD Pick of the Week: “Now that you brought that up, hang onto your paddle. And if you hit any rocks, don’t hit ’em with your head. “
Forty years later, and it is still one of the greatest films of all time.
What happens when you’re a billionaire owner of a major NFL franchise and your beloved wife of 50 years passes away from cancer? Star in a creepy audition video with your new girlfriend. EDIT: Video’s been pulled, so I changed the link to an article on the story.
Ah, the 80s. When ads for record compilations simply ran lists on the songs. And hippies.
Even if she looks slightly like Mike Meyers as Dieter in this pic, I would still slather Mila Kunis with cocoa butter and rub her toesies with an apron.
It’s the summer…mmmm… Volleypear…
It’s like Mia Farrow in the Sound of Music. Some things just weren’t meant to happen.
Or Michael Keaton on a mid-70s episode of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. (Check the back row at :38)
If Brawndo ever makes a douche car, this is what it’ll look like: DoucheCar! It’s got electrolytes.
But you are not here for uberdouchecar. You are here for Pear:
Who Cares If It Might be Photoshopped Pear
And even if it is photoshop, there’s always
For the suckle purity goodness award. And, really, isn’t that the best award there is?
Natalie's Night of Triplefail
Fail #1.
Three douches and you’re out. And by out, I mean emotionally fractured and vaguely alcoholic.
