Dieselcrotch Says, "Look at My Diesel Crotch!"
The Giggling Gigli Triplets giggle and politely decline.
Hours later, the bedroom on their rental cottage smelled like mothballs and patchouli.
Herpster 'Stache
If you’d told me back in 2009, when orange ‘roidbags haunted the hotts, that ironic late 19th Century Herpster ‘Stache would become a popular trend in HCwDB configurations, I would’ve responded thusly:
“Balderdash! This hobbadehoy is a fimble-famble! Surely this rumbumptious hugger-mugger’s gullyfluff needs a rain napper, stat! A hoy hoy, me rusty guts is off the horn.”
Mmmm… Mindy Pout. A juggle worthy teddy fondle of a fort-night’s glute poke, if I’ve ever seen one. And I have seen one. Once. I wrote about it in my diary.
Funger Whackenstein Makes the "Hard" Face with Angie
Lest you think Funger Whackenstein’s “hard” face was a fluke, a simple one-time display of talent beyond his capabilities, know that Funger Whackenstein can make the “hard” face whenever he chooses.
Angie’s hottness is obscured by large glasses, but poppity of shoulder suckle makes the baby Tebus spittle.
Herpster Wannabe Jason Schwartzmann Charms Shyen-Lin
But really, aren’t all herpsters, at their core, variations of Jason Schwartzmann?
Boatbaggery: HCwDB Alien Hovercraft Style
Beware the Boatbaggery.
For anal probing is not far behind.
Get it?… far behind? Anal probing? Ha… ahaha…
Okay.
I need a coffee.
And boatbaggery remains utterly mystifying.
Reader Mail: Unclear on the Concept
Creepy mail-order-bride internet dater Purple Punguine, he who already stalked a Ukrainian Hott, writes in with more disturbing tales of internet trolling and confusing about the douchebag concept:
——————
DB1,
I did it again, this time it was while talking to a Estonian Hott. I thought it was going good we’ve been chatting and emailing each other when I asked for a pic of her, this is what she sent.
Not just one man whereing a white plastic grass dress but two of them!!
One which has a murse and bigger tatas then she does!! Why is this always happining to me? and WHY does he get to lay his head against such lovely Hott?
– Purple Punguine
——————
There’s nothing worse than Man Wheres in Third World Countries. Especially with crocs.
The Budweiser Boyz Score With Brooke
Good on you, B-Boyz. Have a hearty nottadouche, a goinpeace, and a boobs-n-boobs.
Mitch and Monica By The Pool
John Largeman watches pensively with a preponderance of Budweiser and Zen.
Monday Thoughts and Scratches
Somewhere out there, even in today’s sobering economic instability, a douchebag shows his undies to a hot chick. Or at least, the nearest Vegas cocktail waitress working the midnight to eight A.M. shift on a Tuesday.
Your humble crotch scratcher is still recovering from a weekend of debauchery, post-Celtic depression, Mad Meningitis, Hollywooditis, and a whole plantar wart medley of the scratch tickets lottery of life.
Hopefully will be upgrading the site a bit in the upcoming weeks. Other than that, I have way too much time on my hands these days. But I water the alpacas. And stare at anorexic back arch pear. So that is good.
It’s 2012. I want an android love slave.
